I totally get where you are coming from ... im still waiting for the universe but some have said to not wonder or obsess just to let it happen naturally..but i totally understand  where you are coming from..

Thank you guys for replying. It’s so helpful to communicate with people who understand. I’ve been going back to basics and really focusing on myself and self love. I realized feeling so all over the place was just showing me how out of alignment I was. The what if’s and the why’s and the how comes can really throw me out of whack.  Like Agnes says, it’s like the ball that starts bouncing down the stairs and before you know it, you’re completely overwhelmed. Gently redirecting those negative thoughts was my goal for the rest of the week, and it has truly made a huge difference already. I really thought I loved myself, but I’ve been realizing more and more that looking for outside reassurance from my SP was a clear indiciator that I have more inside work to do. I’m already feeling much better. I’m leaving the visualization (pertaining to him) on the back burner until I have a secure foundation. I need to be priority number one, and I’ve made that commitment to myself.

Thanks again for your input. This forum is so uplifting and a wonderful resource for me!