You've got to find the strength within yourself to be your own support system. I have to be my own. I had very heavy duty abuse and neglect for years and years growing up, with the result that I had no self-esteem and no sense of self-worth, so believe me, I understand what that is like only too well. It has been a slow, gradual process for me over time to overcome this even as far as I've come, I've come a long way, and I'm still a work in progress, so it may take you some time as well or it could take less time, but it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you are making progress. If you want things to change for the better, you're going to have to stop dwelling on everything that is wrong and all of the reasons why things that you want cannot happen. If all you can do is make a tiny change in that direction, then make a tiny change, and give yourself praise for it. That's a step in the right direction. Then you can make another tiny change and another one and after a while these will add up to a significant change.

Cynthia wrote:

You've got to find the strength within yourself to be your own support system. I have to be my own. I had very heavy duty abuse and neglect for years and years growing up, with the result that I had no self-esteem and no sense of self-worth, so believe me, I understand what that is like only too well. It has been a slow, gradual process for me over time to overcome this even as far as I've come, I've come a long way, and I'm still a work in progress, so it may take you some time as well or it could take less time, but it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you are making progress. If you want things to change for the better, you're going to have to stop dwelling on everything that is wrong and all of the reasons why things that you want cannot happen. If all you can do is make a tiny change in that direction, then make a tiny change, and give yourself praise for it. That's a step in the right direction. Then you can make another tiny change and another one and after a while these will add up to a significant change.

I am in no rush for any of this, but I don’t want my past to influence my present moment. Oh I see, I am dwelling on those thoughts. Now I get what you mean about being my own supper system. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting some support here, I don’t want to lean on anyone here because I will be doing the work. Maybe I should share more of my progress and what I have come up with so far.

Cynthia wrote:

authenticself wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

You've got to find the strength within yourself to be your own support system. I have to be my own. I had very heavy duty abuse and neglect for years and years growing up, with the result that I had no self-esteem and no sense of self-worth, so believe me, I understand what that is like only too well. It has been a slow, gradual process for me over time to overcome this even as far as I've come, I've come a long way, and I'm still a work in progress, so it may take you some time as well or it could take less time, but it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you are making progress. If you want things to change for the better, you're going to have to stop dwelling on everything that is wrong and all of the reasons why things that you want cannot happen. If all you can do is make a tiny change in that direction, then make a tiny change, and give yourself praise for it. That's a step in the right direction. Then you can make another tiny change and another one and after a while these will add up to a significant change.

I am in no rush for any of this, but I don’t want my past to influence my present moment. Oh I see, I am dwelling on those thoughts. Now I get what you mean about being my own supper system. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting some support here, I don’t want to lean on anyone here because I will be doing the work. Maybe I should share more of my progress and what I have come up with so far.

 
You're rigbt, there's nothing wrong with wanting support from others. I'd like to have some myself, it would be helpful, but I don't have any, and I've learnt to be fine without it. I think it would be wonderful to hear about your progress. That's really what you should be keeping uppermost in your mind because that's what you want more of. As I've heard said, the past does not equal the future. A lot of people seem to think it does. No matter how bad the past might have been your future can be so much better.

I believe 100% that the future can be better than the past. I just made the mistake of letting the fear of him not being with me because of the past get the best of me, and so when he echoed my fears it bothered me. But I have still been working on self love. I read the book love yourself like your life depends on it and it has a good point. I even been doing journal entries every day that has positive prompts to focus on.

Even visualize how I believe my true self should be, I radiate with so much joy. I really love visualizing, when I first started I couldn’t stand it, but now I love it. I even love taking deep breaths when I feel my anxiety coming on. I feel happy this very moment because it’s been getting easier to go back to feeling happy. c:

Cynthia wrote:

authenticself wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

 
You're rigbt, there's nothing wrong with wanting support from others. I'd like to have some myself, it would be helpful, but I don't have any, and I've learnt to be fine without it. I think it would be wonderful to hear about your progress. That's really what you should be keeping uppermost in your mind because that's what you want more of. As I've heard said, the past does not equal the future. A lot of people seem to think it does. No matter how bad the past might have been your future can be so much better.

I believe 100% that the future can be better than the past. I just made the mistake of letting the fear of him not being with me because of the past get the best of me, and so when he echoed my fears it bothered me. But I have still been working on self love. I read the book love yourself like your life depends on it and it has a good point. I even been doing journal entries every day that has positive prompts to focus on.

Even visualize how I believe my true self should be, I radiate with so much joy. I really love visualizing, when I first started I couldn’t stand it, but now I love it. I even love taking deep breaths when I feel my anxiety coming on. I feel happy this very moment because it’s been getting easier to go back to feeling happy. c:

 
That's wonderful. What a difference between this and your earlier post!  You sound like you're doing much better than your earlier post seemed to indicate. What you've been doing seems to be working a treat, so keep up the good work, and things can only keep getting better.

So another ex of mine was bothering me and he spoke to my ex, calling me his girlfriend. I am just gonna take that as encouragement to keep going till that actually does happen. I was getting a bit low at first because he said he was going to spend time with his girlfriend today for the holiday and that kinda slapped me in the face.

But then he said how he hates this holiday because people get whiny, which made more sense because when he realized it was Valentine’s Day, he came off kinda panicked, so she probably was complaining about it. I am staying over at his place Friday anyway. But we are not gonna do anything intimate which I don’t wanna do anyway because I have more respect for myself than that. It’s weird because he treats me more like his girlfriend than he his girlfriend.

But I should look at that as a positive thing that I am moving in the right direction. I told myself I would really work in the self love affirmations all this week until I see him, but still continue afterwards too. I really love him and I know in my heart things are going to be better between us, the way we always wanted things. Also, I been looking into art therapy because I always do art therapy for myself and am interested in the field. I want to better myself in all areas, not just my relationship.