authenticself wrote:

I am scared we will never be together again. That he will never come to his senses and take me back. That he will always put my feelings to the side. That he will never see the person who truly loves him. That he will always let the past overshadow what we could be. It hurts because my heart has complete faith in him, but my mind doubts the reality of it being possible. It’s exhausting to go through this inner battle. I know I made mistakes, but I still feel like I deserve to be with him. Not out of desperation or fear, but because I believe our chance has not really come yet. I mean....last month he called me sweet with a sour middle. That bothered me so much because at my core I am just as sweet. I wanted to be called sweet as a cupcake. Eventually he said I am the sweetest person he knows, that I am diabetes sweet. Another time I really wanted to dance in his room with him. He ended up dancing with me without me having to mention it. It makes me upset because I can attract all these little things that can lead to something major, but he still puts the idea of a relationship behind him. I don’t get it, why am I struggling to manifest a relationship, but I can manifest everything else?

 
Because you have just listed all of the negatives you are worrying about and fearing that are the dominant thoughts in your mind instead of dwelling on what you do want and imagining that you already have things tbe way you want them and being patient and persistent at that.