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1/22/2018 5:07 pm  #1


I would love your opinion/advise

Hi all lovely people!
a bit of a recap of my story my fiance left our home about 2.5 months ago. I ve heard that he is currently living with another woman. a month after he left he came over and we had a good discussions saying our apologies to each other. apart from that no contact whatsoever except from messages about technical issues money owed etc etc. Next week we will meet up as we need to sort out the last technicality. I did tell him that i would like us to go and have a coffee after (he did not comment on that part). My issue is that when left i never told him that i want to try and fix things that he is the love of my life and i want to fix this relationship. So question now is..... do i tell him when i see him? I have made a lot of progress withย  myself during this time and i am sure he is going to see it. Issue is if open this discussion.... on the one hand i want to tell him cause i want him to know on the other hand it might make it more difficult to reach out later on....
Any advise opinion would be appreciated!!!ย 

 

1/24/2018 3:13 am  #2


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Ha.... Random.... I attracted wrong ex from 3 years ago! Keep going till the right one come up

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1/24/2018 11:18 am  #3


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Awhh. If I may know why did your fiancรฉ left? Yeah, I understand the dilemma. I told my love that I missed him because I thought that things were getting better, and he became more distant after. But I think it really depends on your situation.

 

1/24/2018 12:10 pm  #4


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

No it is not about the situation at all. Don't talk about it, don't think about it, don't focus on it AT ALL.  Why he left is the least important thing. Important is what you REALLY expect to happen when you tell him these things. If you deep down expect negative reaction, then any kind of words won't help you. It is never the action. In most cases it is better to stay quite, because you can mess it up. And i don't mean that you will make things worse by saying him something, but by your expectation of his reactin (maybe you won't be honest with yourself enough to admit that you don't really expect positive reaction) amd then analysing his reaction  and assuming that it meant that he doesn't love you and he won't ever come back and all this crap (i'm not saying it's your case, but i read very much threads here and i'm talking from what i saw here so far.). My ex told me some horrible things just a 2 weeks ago. He even rejected when i offered him being fwb. But i knew it's not about him, he is only reflecting what i have put onto him so what he says or does doesn't matter at all. I kept assuming that i'm loved girlfriend and few days ago, he was begging to be my boyfriend again, not remembering what happened between us. As long as  you make it about him and action to force things, instead of working on your assuptions about him, you probably won't get him either.
Did you ever read Sanshi's posts? If you want to do something for attracting him back, than you have to understand what Sanshi is talking about here. And what Neville talks about.

 

1/24/2018 2:04 pm  #5


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Hello again!
To be honest the reason i want to tell him that i am open to be together again is that i never did during the break up. or later when we had our "sorry" chat. I am sure deep down he knows but i want to put it out there. and tell him that yes i am here i love you you are the person i want to come home to. if you want to be kick ass again together i am ready if not wish you all the best..
May i could just go meet him without a plan and feel in my gut what is right that moment
ย 

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1/24/2018 3:22 pm  #6


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Konie wrote:

Hello again!
To be honest the reason i want to tell him that i am open to be together again is that i never did during the break up. or later when we had our "sorry" chat. I am sure deep down he knows but i want to put it out there. and tell him that yes i am here i love you you are the person i want to come home to. if you want to be kick ass again together i am ready if not wish you all the best..
May i could just go meet him without a plan and feel in my gut what is right that moment
ย 

I may be wrong, but it sounds to me that you feel the need to make it happen. The only thing you have to do is to get into the state of already being together. Everything else will flow from that state. If telling him about how you feel is a step on that way, you will do it naturally. You won't ask questions about it, you won't try to figure out the right timing. It will all come from that state.


"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."

Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
 

1/24/2018 4:00 pm  #7


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Yes you are right. No plan for me then. I will see him on tuesday and feel if i want to tell him or not. i will let it be and see how it goes

Thank you for you advise all

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1/24/2018 4:23 pm  #8


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Konie wrote:

Yes you are right. No plan for me then. I will see him on tuesday and feel if i want to tell him or not. i will let it be and see how it goes

Thank you for you advise all

If you are coming from the state it isn't like you decide if you feel like it or not. It's more that you can't help but doing what it necessary. Happened to me with a job. I noticed that I had applied after I had done it. There was no free will involved. I didn't make the decision. The state made me act. But for that to happen, you have to get into the state first and "seeing how it goes" isn't coming from the state. When you know that it's already done, you don't need to look at reality for confirmation. It's like watching a film you already know. When you watch it for the first time and you see that the hero is in danger, you are tensed and you hope that nothing bad will happen. When you watch it the second time, you know that it has an happy end and you know there is no reason to be tensed. You don't care much about that dangerous situations anymore, because you know how it ends. If you feel like that about your situation, you are in the right state and no outward appearance can change anything about that. So who cares how it goes on Tuesday, if you already know how it ends?


"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."

Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
 

1/25/2018 2:06 am  #9


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

Cottoncandy wrote:

Awhh. If I may know why did your fiancรฉ left? Yeah, I understand the dilemma. I told my love that I missed him because I thought that things were getting better, and he became more distant after. But I think it really depends on your situation.

Why does it matter why her fiancรฉ left? That is an old story, there is no need for her to keep looking back to that matter? She does not to perpetuate an old dialogue

At its basis the process is the same whatever the history of a person's situation.

 

1/25/2018 5:59 am  #10


Re: I would love your opinion/advise

I get it! Tuesday or no Tuesday the script is written. I ll keep coming back to this post Sanshi! I am in the state now and i will continue to be in it as I know the end


Sanshi wrote:

Konie wrote:

Yes you are right. No plan for me then. I will see him on tuesday and feel if i want to tell him or not. i will let it be and see how it goes

Thank you for you advise all

If you are coming from the state it isn't like you decide if you feel like it or not. It's more that you can't help but doing what it necessary. Happened to me with a job. I noticed that I had applied after I had done it. There was no free will involved. I didn't make the decision. The state made me act. But for that to happen, you have to get into the state first and "seeing how it goes" isn't coming from the state. When you know that it's already done, you don't need to look at reality for confirmation. It's like watching a film you already know. When you watch it for the first time and you see that the hero is in danger, you are tensed and you hope that nothing bad will happen. When you watch it the second time, you know that it has an happy end and you know there is no reason to be tensed. You don't care much about that dangerous situations anymore, because you know how it ends. If you feel like that about your situation, you are in the right state and no outward appearance can change anything about that. So who cares how it goes on Tuesday, if you already know how it ends?

ย 

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