Other areas of your life doesn't influence this one area of your life. I bet you know at least one person who has a great job, but really messy love life. Or someone who has really happy marriage but other areas of his life are mess.  It's a matter of your beliefs. You can believe you are the type of person who has happy long term relationships but also you can have a belief that you have to work really hard for making money (just examples).
The thing that repels your love (stop using the word ex) from being with you is your state of consciousness. As i already said, what you believe to be true about your life is what you will get. So you can be whatever you want, as long as you believe that your love accepts you, that is what you will get. A lot of people here writes about self love, self confidence and all these things in order to get someone back, but it's crap. You can be as confident as you want, but as long you believe they won't come back, they simply won't.
The thing you have to do is to be the person you would be if you had the relationship with your love now. I guess you won't be thinking about things that blocks you from manifesting them nor would you call them "ex". You have to be the person who once were their ex. Read some Neville Goddard for better understanding of what i'm talking about here. I don't think i'm clear enough. I would say that you will better understand what Sanshi is talking about in her posts after reading some Neville. And Sanshi, please correct me if i'm giving crappy advices, i'm not very confident in interpretating what i have learnt yet 😁

Last edited by MiciJones (1/14/2018 11:53 am)

MiciJones wrote:

So you can be whatever you want, as long as you believe that your love accepts you, that is what you will get. A lot of people here writes about self love, self confidence and all these things in order to get someone back, but it's crap. You can be as confident as you want, but as long you believe they won't come back, they simply won't.

To a certain degree I do agree with you about the trend I have seen with people stating self love to every answer.

But it's not that self love and self confidence are crap it's that they are not being used in the correct manner. It's what happens when someone watches a ten minute YouTube video and doesn't grasp the principle behind the concept being promoted.

The basic premise of using delibrate creation to bring about the life you want is that one needs to shift their state - you shift your state by shifting your construct of your current reality. This is done by changing your beliefs - changing your perception of your outer reality.

Sometimes it's easy to do. Hence why it's easy to manifest a parking space - because there is a low threshold of belief for you to Reach to manifest a carspace. But when you are dealing with deep seated beliefs you need to do something more than just believe.

That's where working on your self confidence and self love etc come into play. If a person has no self confidence they need to build it - if they don't see themself worthy they have to build the belief of worthiness. When they work on these limiting beliefs they will shift much easier to their desired state because the foundations have been firmly placed.

An example of my personal experience is when I first used LOA to manifest a guy I read Neville, used Abe and Bashar to make the process more lighthearted and read everything I could get my hands on. And thought so that's it's I believe he is mine and he is coming back job done. But my unconscious wasn't accepting it and it manifested as lots of ups and downs - because my core wasn't believing it. I couldn't shift states consistently because something was blocking it. So I weeded out the blocks and I used techniques to dissolve those limiting beliefs and one of them was my confidence in the relationship (yes in my everyday social and professional life I was very confident but not in the area of relationships) and my self worth was low. I used CBT, meditation and autosuggestion to change these old constructs. As those broke down I was able to shift states much easier - till I felt llke it's done - I just know.

It's all well telling someone to just belief, just change your believes - but they need a core belief that is compatible with new beliefs. And that's what makes it harder for some and why it can takes months and years for some to apply the principles successfully. They are attracting and repelling at the same time.

The key to success is to have a solid foundation.

So as I was saying to Sanshi all the processes have there place - as long as they are used correctly not just aimlessly because it is a buzzword that everyone is throwing out there.

Last edited by Oasiscalm (1/14/2018 1:51 pm)

MiciJones wrote:

I agree with you in everything. I actually wanted to add to my post something similar to what you wrote here. In my post i was only pointing on the fact that confidence itself isn't what manifests, it's the state, but i should add that it's something that will help with the entire process. Next time i will be more clear.

I understood and agreed with most of what your wrote.

What prompted me to write was probably less your answer and more that I think others are using self love in the wrong way and wondering why things aren't manifesting.

Confidence means a belief or a surety. Thus first a person needs to be confident in their ability to be a delibrate creator.

And confidence will further aid manifestiation when a person is confident IN THE area they are trying to manifest in, as you correctly stated.

Last edited by Oasiscalm (1/14/2018 2:06 pm)

fizzy wrote:

This is a lot to take in  Thank you for responding!

I'm not looking for any sort of closure with my love (not ex!) or for him to do anything. I was just saying I myself feel less confident because of the past we had. When we were still together I started feeling inadequate in ways and I felt like I had trouble even being my authentic self. Our relationship ended soon after and he started seeing someone else, so the meaning I gave to feeling this way is that it repels him. Whether that's true or not, that's what I began to believe. So I'm concerned that any sort of confidence issue is like a block to manifesting him back in my life. But I also feel like I won't know if I still feel this way around him because we never speak. I've built myself up a lot since no longer talking to him and it's been a while. That's why I want to manifest him back and work on things later if need be. This may not make much sense at all but this is the best way I can describe my feelings  I honestly have learned to love myself for who I am though. Maybe just not for ALL that I am yet though.

When I read that I need to build my self confidence more, I think ok but how will I know when I have enough to manifest the relationship though? I understand that I shouldn't be building my confidence for the relationship, but rather for myself. But the thing is I have been in this situation for a long time and I am a confident person on my own. And now I want to manifest the relationship but am just unsure if I have any blocks.

If it is just a matter of aligning with the belief that I am in the relationship now just as I am, and I am loved and accepted for who I am, I feel like I can do that. I don't hate myself. I'm a lot better off these days in the self love/confidence departments. I just didn't want to be blocking it. I feel like it's just a matter of being confused because of all I've read.

 

Don't think of it as a self love/self hate issue.

You pointed out your percieved blocks so I addressed those. If you were fully confident with who you are as you are you wouldn't be concerning yourself with worry about him not accepting you as you are.

You are the director of this whole production. How much understanding of this system do you have? It may serve you to read around the subject to really grasp the principles.

If you have been in this situation for a long time then it shows that something still needs to change within you. Why I'm talking about you building yourself up is because every desire you have comes from a perception of the reward you will get back from it. And that is always based on how you feel about yourself at that time.

What do I mean - you wrote a post stating you don't have confidence, the current girlfriend is in a better position (if I remember rightly), in your past relationship you felt inadequate. All of these statements show where you currently stand in relation to yourself.

All of these statements are about lack on your part. So what do you believe a relationship with him accepting you are you are will give you? My thoughts is that him accepting you for all of your percieved lacks (low self confidence, the girlfriend, previous relationship errors) is going to make you feel better and make you feel more filled up. I'm saying do that for yourself. Do that now - radiate completeness - radiate confidence - radiate surety in that you can can have whatever you so desire. And then you will see it unfold before your eyes.

When you fill yourself up, you wont make statements like " in our past relationship this happened and that happened, so I'm scared etc..." Because firstly you will know that you aren't the same person and secondly you know that what happened was a direct reflection of the state you were in at that time.

How will you know when you have aligned. You will know. You will know because your thoughts will be different, your expectancy will sure, you won't look around and make excuses. You will come back and read your original post and laugh because you will see how much you have really shifted states. Then externally things will also change.

Read this article
http://www.mustsparkjoy.com/get-ex-boyfriend-back-good/

fizzy wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Don't think of it as a self love/self hate issue.

You pointed out your percieved blocks so I addressed those. If you were fully confident with who you are as you are you wouldn't be concerning yourself with worry about him not accepting you as you are.

You are the director of this whole production. How much understanding of this system do you have? It may serve you to read around the subject to really grasp the principles.

If you have been in this situation for a long time then it shows that something still needs to change within you. Why I'm talking about you building yourself up is because every desire you have comes from a perception of the reward you will get back from it. And that is always based on how you feel about yourself at that time.

What do I mean - you wrote a post stating you don't have confidence, the current girlfriend is in a better position (if I remember rightly), in your past relationship you felt inadequate. All of these statements show where you currently stand in relation to yourself.

All of these statements are about lack on your part. So what do you believe a relationship with him accepting you are you are will give you? My thoughts is that him accepting you for all of your percieved lacks (low self confidence, the girlfriend, previous relationship errors) is going to make you feel better and make you feel more filled up. I'm saying do that for yourself. Do that now - radiate completeness - radiate confidence - radiate surety in that you can can have whatever you so desire. And then you will see it unfold before your eyes.

When you fill yourself up, you wont make statements like " in our past relationship this happened and that happened, so I'm scared etc..." Because firstly you will know that you aren't the same person and secondly you know that what happened was a direct reflection of the state you were in at that time.

How will you know when you have aligned. You will know. You will know because your thoughts will be different, your expectancy will sure, you won't look around and make excuses. You will come back and read your original post and laugh because you will see how much you have really shifted states. Then externally things will also change.

Read this article
http://www.mustsparkjoy.com/get-ex-boyfriend-back-good/

So what you are saying is be sure that I can manifest the relationship right now as I am and don't worry about his perception of me, having blocks, etc.

Just feel that I'm ok as I am, don't worry about anything else, and stay focused on what I want?

I've read that article 
 

I think I said more than that, but if that's what you are hearing.

Then yes don't focus on any of the negative things and keep your focus on your desire.