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1/02/2018 11:13 am  #11


Re: Building myself up

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

ย I would distinguish between the state and the person. His behavior is that of an idiot, sure. But that has nothing to do with him, but what is projected onto him. It doesn't really have relevance that he behaves like an idiot, because there is nothing to change here. It's like complaining about a dirty shirt. Yes, it is dirty, but complaining about the shirt won't change anything regardless of how many people you tell about it and how much you agree with them that it's worth judging that it's dirty. Point is that there is only one power and the moment you give the slightest of that power away, you make yourself a victim and that's what 99,9 % of the people do and why they fail. Every single time we feel bad about something, we give power away.

Which is what I am getting at - why would you give the time of day to someone who is behaving in that way towards you? Move away from them focus on yourself and spend your time with people who deserve it. Is that Law of Attraction? Or is it common sense? Or am I wrong?

I am clearly not "getting it" as I have been told off by two different posters in the last couple of days about my comments.ย 

I wasn't referring to you, when I said that people find reasons over reasons why something happened. I had said something like this, even if your post hadn't been before mine. If I would take a lot of time to go through every post of this forum and would mark all the passages that are talking about outside causes and are giving meaning to the meaningless, there would be more red than anything on this forum - that includes my own posts.

Well, what you said and what I said seems very similar, but behind it I feel a very different approach. Your approach is: there is a guy in an outside world and this guy behaves like ****, so just don't interact with him, he isn't worth your time. That's common sense and it's better than focusing on that guy and let him treat you like ****, sure.
My approach is: The world is within you and nothing happens independent of you. From that approach it's logical to not spend any time with what you don't want. But it's not a physical approach. You could have a date with the guy, he could treat you like **** (from the perspective of an observer), but all that you feel is him treating you like a princess. You are having the most amazing date of all times, because you don't give any attention to what the world shows you, because you know that it's just what your previous self manifested. From that view of the world, you can leave the guy behind, because you have to desire to spend time with him. Or you could see him in a very different light and he would change. But you accept it as your creation, either way.

We all have our own speed and our own baggage of beliefs that we start with. That makes it easier or harder for us. As long as you are okay with where you are standing, who cares what others say? Do you feel that you aren't getting it? If so, I am sure the right answers will come to you at the right time. Has always been that way for me.


"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."

Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
 

1/02/2018 1:58 pm  #12


Re: Building myself up

Bellecat wrote:

I am currently trying to love myself after I had a guy completely take me by surprise and break my heart.

Werenโ€™t in a relationship weโ€™d be on and off since may last year I even got in a relationship with another guy after he told me to get lost. I was with this other guy for two months and then we broke up.

Of course G came back. Skip to Christmas where I was fed up of it and knowing we were close I asked him what was going on. He replied he didnโ€™t want a relationship with any one and so I backed off, and he replied asking I donโ€™t want some fun? I replied what happens when I meet Mr Right. He said it wouldnโ€™t be easy to let me go as he does care about me but he would or something.

I stopped talking to and a day or so later he contacted me late at night and he got jealous that Iโ€™d find another guy hey, and he was like take care of something and I said something about having to get over him first and it went from there and we got close and he said he loves my body and I asked even my soul and he replied yes.

Not long after that we went to sleep and he went silent for a day and then texts me heโ€™s seeing someone and to take care and Iโ€™m blocked.

Now I need to build myself back up but I feel like Iโ€™m not worth it or good enough.
No idea if she actually exists or heโ€™s running away from feelings.

Start with your beliefs and get some understanding on why you belief them.

So ask yourself why you don't feel worthy or good enough. And keep digging till you find the root of those beliefs (and remember to keep the focus on you - not this guy or any other guy).


Create a vision of the person you want to be and make strides towards that. Use mindfulness and delibrate action to live as the person with the attributes you want and things will change

 

1/02/2018 2:09 pm  #13


Re: Building myself up

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

You know, I think we all - me included - need to understand what loving yourself, and respecting yourself, mean. I'm not sure I know the difference or indeed if there is any.ย 

You can start with thinking about the concepts of respect and love.

At the moment people are throwing around the term "self love" as the be all answer to everything but it is a little deeper than using a cosy term.

Self love is a practice one does - not just loving yourself with words and feelings.

What are you trying to achieve - remember it's not a one fix for all.

When you gain insight into what you need to grow it will come to you.

 

1/03/2018 5:31 pm  #14


Re: Building myself up

God I miss him !!!

     Thread Starter
 

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