Why do you need him? Think about that.

I let go of my neediness years ago. It started thanks to self-confidence affirmations (solar plexus) and then applying that into action - focusing not on the person but by making life amazing, falling in love with life itself even if the person wasn't in it. I was depending on the idea of the person, the idea of the relationship, to satisfy my ego, to make me feel worthy and happy. I reminded myself that I was happy once without her, that I never needed to be in a relationship to be happy, that I didn't need her to prove that I was good, that I can recreate a great life outside of that and find happiness in being myself. And I let go of my longing recently by forgiving the past (heart chakra stuff), forgiving myself and her for our mistakes, embracing and feeling my sadness, wishing happiness and love for both of us, and reminding myself that the past doesn't define us, I can create a better future here and now.

I'm guessing that after you do self-love meditations, you start to feel like crap again because you start to focus on him, expecting quick results, wondering where the results are, thinking of ways to do more techniques with more intensity, whether you call it RS or self-love, the mentality is the same. It's not enough to just meditate or visualize or do affirmations - we do all that to inspire a new state of consciousness and that should become a new way of life, a new way of consciousness that you live in. Which is better- doing a self-love meditation and then focusing on your ex and wondering where results are and then feeling like crap or doing the meditation and then living the rest of the day with the same self-love mindset, having confidence that it's all good?

There is no quick fix, you'll feel better with time and patience. Once you let go of the longing and neediness you might even realize like I did that you never truly wanted that person, that they were just a symbol and you're happier when you don't focus so much on them, that your mind was clinging to the idea of them as a way to protect you/ give you short-term happiness. It's similar to how we crave sugar and salt when we feel stressed.

Now that I reread the query, 5 weeks is a short time after the break-up. Is it possible you're jumping into this quickly and need time to heal first?


 

It's so interesting to me. People come here desperate for a person. Then, they got a person back or find another one. And a few months later, they are here again with the same problem just projected onto another person. If I were you, I were much more interested in how to break that pattern than how to get a person back.

She even has meditations for letting go