PurpleRoses wrote:

I've been on this journey for a while watching Veronica's videos, trying the 25 day challenge (not successful), listening to Agnes Vivarelli advice.
Honestly, i'm tired. My ex-boyfriend wasn't all that great and sometimes I don't know why I want him back. He broke up with me in the worst way, through text and things did not end well when i reached out later. I tried Veronica's challenge but must admit I couldn't last longer than 10 days without getting anxiety. Then I tried to follow Agnes' advice and felt responsible for my relationship. Since " Everyone is you pushed out " made me feel like I could attract my ex, but he could be a better boyfriend to me.

Everytime my family catches myself crying, they feel as if i'm just too obsessed with him, trying to get his attention and what not. I have kept up no contact- but lately i've been stressed as i'm planning on moving a few hours away and still haven't heard anything from him.

So i've been trying to focus on what i actually want in a relationship, kind of like abraham hicks'. where you focus on what you want, not the past relationship, because of how it lowers your vibration.

But every time i cry, and I'm honest about wanting to still talk to him my family/ loved ones make me feel as if i'm obsessed with him. I'm also somewhat religious, so they feel as if i'm not "trusting God". That i'm chasing relationships out of fear that I can't have one. which i don't even know if its true. or what is really at the core.

I'm wondering if at this point, if i'm obsessed. Like maybe they're right, maybe i'm so focused on a relationship that I'm not taking time out to find myself. This was my first relationship ever , and i was single for a long time, i'm somewhat of a late bloomer.

If i am obsessed how do i get out of it? I've tried to trust God and do the whole bit but i just don't know how.

 
This was your first boyfriend, he's treated you badly, he didn't even care about you enough or respect you enough to speak to you but instead was so cowardly that he broke up with you by text.  You could do so much better and deserve much better than him.  There are many other males in the world to choose from.  I think you're lonely, you want to be loved, and you want a boyfriend and are possibly afraid of not being able to find another one, so as substandard as he was, he's familiar, so you think you want to get the familiar back. Also, you're hurt because he rejected you and by getting him back think that that hurt will go away.  He doesn't deserve you. You do need to love and respect yourself more and have higher expectations for yourself  because there are much better males out there who are actually men, unlike this person. There are much worse things than being alone.

Last edited by Cynthia (11/25/2017 5:41 pm)

Wow. It's crazy how similar our stories are. I also consider myself a "late bloomer". I've only had two serious relationships. The second ended badly. He ended it extremely thoughtlessly. We don't communicate or interact and haven't for a few months now. I've learned a lot of lessons from the experience and have gained A LOT of love and respect for myself, but I still want him back. I even get upset with myself for wanting him back because I absolutely know I deserve better. As much as I pray to God for his help on releasing my desire for my ex, I can't shake the desire. What has helped me is simple self care activities, YouTube videos (DanRadioStyle, Be A Good Soul, etc.) and being a light/blessing in others lives. Those things bring me a lot of joy. Find what brings you joy and do a lot of it.

Also, frequently remind yourself how much of a catch your are and how anyone would be lucky to be with you because it's the truth. You deserve happiness and whatever it is that you desire. If you want him back, you can attract a wonderful new relationship with him. Do the spiritual work, ask God to reveal the lessons you need to learn, make peace with the past (it's no longer relevant, so you shouldn't worry about it) and let it go. He will come back.

I think being honest with yourself is great. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel so that you can release that resistance. I don't know if your'e obsessed with everything, but you may be feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with all of the emotions. I'd lay off of all techniques you're doing (if you're doing any) and just focus on only doing what feels good, whatever that is for you.

Hopefully this helps. You'll overcome this. <3

AnythingIsPossible wrote:

Wow. It's crazy how similar our stories are. I also consider myself a "late bloomer". I've only had two serious relationships. The second ended badly. He ended it extremely thoughtlessly. We don't communicate or interact and haven't for a few months now. I've learned a lot of lessons from the experience and have gained A LOT of love and respect for myself, but I still want him back. I even get upset with myself for wanting him back because I absolutely know I deserve better. As much as I pray to God for his help on releasing my desire for my ex, I can't shake the desire. What has helped me is simple self care activities, YouTube videos (DanRadioStyle, Be A Good Soul, etc.) and being a light/blessing in others lives. Those things bring me a lot of joy. Find what brings you joy and do a lot of it.

Also, frequently remind yourself how much of a catch your are and how anyone would be lucky to be with you because it's the truth. You deserve happiness and whatever it is that you desire. If you want him back, you can attract a wonderful new relationship with him. Do the spiritual work, ask God to reveal the lessons you need to learn, make peace with the past (it's no longer relevant, so you shouldn't worry about it) and let it go. He will come back.

I think being honest with yourself is great. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel so that you can release that resistance. I don't know if your'e obsessed with everything, but you may be feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with all of the emotions. I'd lay off of all techniques you're doing (if you're doing any) and just focus on only doing what feels good, whatever that is for you.

Hopefully this helps. You'll overcome this. <3

Thank you so much! for commenting, i really appreciate this and wish i had responded sooner.  Its nice to find someone that understands, what i'm going through. That forcing myself to no longer want to be him feels like such an inner struggle, like it literally can knock me out of vibration. My journey so far has just been me "giving in" and just staying true to myself, what i truly want. I've pretty much been working on my own goals and living my best life possible. I've found much more peace in life overall and am very happy. I no longer let the past get to me, although i'm not perfect. But it doesn't affect me as much. In fact whenever he crosses my mind when i'm out and about -I think of "how it would be if we were eating dinner together, going out, etc". I find that "living in the end" comes easier when i'm calm and living my life. So yeah things are much better for me!