Gratitude21 wrote:

Hi All,

Till about a month back I was trying to win back my ex. I was desperate and had tried everything I was reading or seeing in the same context. Although I did not get him back but in the process I did find myself. Practising Self love I realized my worth and on rethinking about my relationship with a sane mind I realised that my ex and I were absolutely two different people wanting different things in the relationship. So, i was able to let go and felt happy about it. I sincerely thank him for putting me on the LoA path and will always cherish the good times we have had. Thanks to all the lovely people here.

Now, after about being in a real happy space for sometime, I met this new guy through a friend. We had a good chat in a party and exchanged numbers. Let me tell you all, when I first started talking to him, I was constantly thinking that he is way out of my league as he is a very good looking man. Well, after exchanging numbers we started chatting on WhatsApp and even had some video calls. I find him very interesting. But this thought of he being out of my league has been constantly on my mind. I know what we think is what we attract and I even try to correct my thoughts but I fail. He has asked me out on a date and I’m happy about it but the thought that this won’t last is nagging me throughout. Totally and absolutely against self love and LoA but I’m just unable to change my thoughts about this.
What do you all suggest I do?

He likes you. He's asked you out on a date. He must think you have something to offer.  He must think you are an interesting person that he wants to get to know.  HE doesn't think you're 'out of his league' or he wouldn't be bothered with you.  He would have passed you right by without a second look or second thought.  Keep that in mind.  You might not push him away or drive him away immediately by your thinking that you are 'out of his league' but you will eventually, so stop thinking that way and reverse it right now, immediately  Tell yourself how much you have to offer him or any other person. Think about all of your good qualities that I am sure you must have. Imagine the situation/relationship you want with him being the absolute ideal and as if it is true right now and as if you are living it right now.  If I had done what I'm telling you right now, I would be together with my person happily right now instead of trying to attract him back again. He likes you!
 

Gratitude21 wrote:

Thanks Cynthia. I’m forcing myself to think all the positives and all the good things about myself and about the situation. But it just seems unbelievable that someone like him is interested in a simple plain Jane like me. I do know and appreciate my qualities...I know I have a good heart. I know that since the Self appreaction my vibes have gone up. A lot of my coworkers and my friends have noticed a good change in me and have told me so. On my Self love journey I have been concentrating completely on myself. So, I exercise and go for brisk walking daily...watch what I eat. My skin has improved and I brought some changes to my wardrobe.
I was very confident till I met this man. What I’m scared about is that my fears will not let this thing grow as it is. So therefore the doubts 😟

You called yourself a 'simple plain Jane'. You must not be seeing your own beauty.  When I was a lot younger, I had people telling me all the time how beautiful or how pretty I was, but I never believed it.  I thought I was ugly.  Looking at some old photos of myself, it's like looking at a different person, and I can look at them objectively and impartially and see that the other people were right.  My self esteem was so low at the time, even non-existent, that I saw myself as ugly without any reason to. No matter what you think you look like, you must have heard the expression 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.  No matter how plain or how ugly a person thinks they are, there is at least one person who will find them stunningly beautiful.  Inner beauty is much more important than outer beauty and radiates outward also, making a person more beautiful externally than perhaps they think they are. Keep working on your self love and self esteem because it sounds as though it has been working for you if other people have noticed the difference.  Perhaps that is a reason why this man has been attracted to you.  Everything is moving in the right direction for you. 

I have seen some couples, in fact quite a few couples, where one person was very handsome or beautiful and the other one was anything but.  It's not all about physical beauty.  Physical beauty is not even close to being the most important thing about a person, and I wouldn't personally want to be with anybody for whom that was the most important or only important thing to him.  That is so superficial and shallow.

 

Last edited by Cynthia (10/17/2017 2:25 pm)

Gratitude21 wrote:

Thank you again Cynthia ! Your response brought a smile on my face and made me feel so much better about myself. I don’t have words to describe how grateful I’m feeling right now.
You seem to be such a positive person...all the best to you and loads of love.

I am so happy that I made you feel better about yourself.  Thank you so much for your kind words. Your reply has more than made my day.

I had a wonderful time on my date. He said I’m awesome and he likes me. Makes me feel so much better and relieved. Hope things grow between us. Thanks Universe!
Thank you....thank you....thank you!

Yes. And I took your word for it. Thanks again. 😀