Staceylouuu91x wrote:

I recently won a course from Agnes Vivarelli, I put off starting it originally because I felt like I had other issues I needed to address and I have started working on them. Life has been good as of late, a little testing at times but I think that is the result of me addressing my old habits and adjusting to new, healthier ones. These things are a priority over a relationship for me.

After a year of no contact, not my choice I'm blocked and boy what a blessing that was, it gave me the chance to work on myself without feeling obligated to remind him I'm still here, I started thinking about the guy I initially joined this forum to get back into my life, at least 97% of the thoughts about him are good now. I started the course Agnes sent me and she says I should write where I'm at with the person and how I feel. Upon writing that down I felt a lot of rage and all I could hear in my head was my inner voice screaming "coward" for the way he initially treated me.

My question is what is the best way to release bottled up feelings like this? I honestly thought I was past this. It isn't healthy and I don't want these situations to hold me back. I do care for this guy but I know I can't even entertain a relationship with anybody while I'm in this spot.

Thank you so much. :D 

Just thought I'd add this bit in. I haven't been waiting for him to return during the year I've been around this forum. I've seen a new person, I've been on trips to parts of England I've never been to before. I made new friends and improved my relationships with people in my life right now, I spent a week on a barge boat at one point, attended 3 conventions. I've got a lot going on some bad but mostly good. He just came to my mind one day out of the blue after all this time and I feel as if I'd love to at least talk to him again. 

 
I realised I had a lot of recurring resentment and anger built up toward my person.At one point it was so bad that it was rage, and I took his photo and put it on my bed and punched it a lot of times and yelled abuse at him (his photo). I tried other things to get rid of it, but those negative feelings kept coming back and were probably always there beneath the surface. I'd been hearing about the ho'oponopono prayer, so I decided to try it. It worked an absolute treat. You have to mean it and feel it for it to work, not just repeat the words mindlessly. I got very emotional when I was doing it and shed many tears, but when I was done those negative emotions were gone and have never come back. Now I feel positive feelings toward him almost all of the time.

These are the two videos I used to learn it.. They are only a few minutes long apiece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3anR8I5TD8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNRKaTrrQ_0

Last edited by Cynthia (10/09/2017 1:01 pm)

You are past it.  Remind yourself of that. ;-)

Cynthia wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

You are past it.  Remind yourself of that. ;-)

 
She isn't past it if she's still got bottled up feelings that she wants to get rid of.

The point is for her to have encouraging self talks.  When negative thoughts and feelings about this guy come up, she can tell herself  each time that she is past and over whatever he did.

This method has been effective for someone I know of that was abandoned by a parent. It also has helped people that have been conned out of thousands and people that were anguished for years over situations in which they were wronged.

But,  as you've said - she can also continue to define within herself that she isn't past it.  Once she has accepted the problem,  she can work on fixing it.  Whichever path she decides is entirely up to her.