Gratitude21 wrote:

sillyromantic wrote:

Now I get it. Met a guy who is so needy for me, begging, possessive, its the biggest turn off I ever felt for someone and he refuses to give up or give me breathing space. I feel so suffocated and out of air. People - don't be so needy for someone's love. Don't chase and beg, love yourself, work on yourself and you will get love and respect back. It's so off-putting, I can't even describe it.

I completely agree with this. Being needy or possessive pushes people away. I've done it with my guy (my partner before my ex) and now I feel so ashamed. It is one of the worst things I've done in life. The day I realized this I promised myself that I'll never ever do it again. Therefore after my ex broke up with me this time I chose to handle it differently. I feel good that I kept my promise to myself.

Thats good that you were aware of it and decided to take a different approach. From being on the other side of that I cannot press enough how much it does make you uncomfortable and even frustrating that this person refuses to accept the situation and keeps pushing and pushing regardless of your feelings.

Laura1234 wrote:

But you must attract this boy cause your vibrations too ,right? Sometimes I think what if 100% selflove is no good because we will attract people who are obssesed to us?:D when we dont have selflove so we pushed people away but when we have a selflove so...Im confused

I think you'd attract people who are a vibrational match as well as others. So with high self respect you'd attract people but you'd also be able to suss out those who are needy, desperate, low vibe and avoid them, whereas in a low vibration yourself you may mistake their attention for love or think they were right for you when they're not.

Think about it: Successful people with high self regard attract stalkers but they don't get into relationships with them. You're able to be discerning with good self regard.

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (10/07/2017 3:15 am)

sillyromantic wrote:

well I was in a very good place when I met this person and I'm not needy at all, I'm the one who kept wanting space from his neediness but I shut that relationship down very quickly and sent him packing. I can't be bothered with such drama at this point in my life. I feel bad because he wanted it to work out so much but can't help it I'm not into him at all and I want a secure and confident trusting man. He kept insisting that he's very confident but his actions proved otherwise and made me feel sorry for him

When I first met my ex, I was also in a very good space. He was the needy one as he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He used to cling to me like a kid as he was so insecure that I’ll leave him too. I helped him in believing in himself. I used to spend hours councelling him. He had such low esteem at that point. But the result of our association was not good coz his vibrations brought me down. When we split I was the one all shattered and broken. That’s when I started practising LoA and am so grateful that I did that. I’m in such a beautiful space now. As per me his purpose in my life was to guide me towards LoA and mine to help him out of his misery. I think the moment we served our purposes we left each other’s lives.

sillyromantic wrote:

Gratitude21 wrote:

sillyromantic wrote:

well I was in a very good place when I met this person and I'm not needy at all, I'm the one who kept wanting space from his neediness but I shut that relationship down very quickly and sent him packing. I can't be bothered with such drama at this point in my life. I feel bad because he wanted it to work out so much but can't help it I'm not into him at all and I want a secure and confident trusting man. He kept insisting that he's very confident but his actions proved otherwise and made me feel sorry for him

When I first met my ex, I was also in a very good space. He was the needy one as he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He used to cling to me like a kid as he was so insecure that I’ll leave him too. I helped him in believing in himself. I used to spend hours councelling him. He had such low esteem at that point. But the result of our association was not good coz his vibrations brought me down. When we split I was the one all shattered and broken. That’s when I started practising LoA and am so grateful that I did that. I’m in such a beautiful space now. As per me his purpose in my life was to guide me towards LoA and mine to help him out of his misery. I think the moment we served our purposes we left each other’s lives.

Thats good that you were able to help him and you learned from the experience. I thought that I could get pass not being attracted to this guy and tried to give him a chance but that was false hope and a mistake letting him fly all this way to see me. I could not take his presence at all due to him acting so needy and jealous. I felt suffocated and smothered. I also helped my ex boyfriend to grow a lot and he left with another girl who has far less to give than I do but I'm glad that I was able to be a good influence on him in his life and he got something out of our relationship. I just know now that I have less tolerance and it's lowering my vibe being with someone who puts me on edge and brings me down. I started practicing LOA after that ex boyfriend and I split 5 months ago so I gained a lot from that relationship too and I'm raising my standards now.
 

That's success! We grow from our experiences....good or bad. i relate to so many people here on this forum. Sometimes reading things here looks like reading my own story