I have the same experiences that you have.   I can’t sorsk for others. But whenever I’m in alignment with myself. and don’t have resistance towards a person.  Their attitude/etc towards me is exactly how I want it

But if I doubt/fear/needy/etc.  they back off/act different


The thing I noticed is.  There’s been times I’ve been in alignment with myself.   And everyone else except the person I have resistance towards me is nice, etc

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

I used to be confused by this too. In my experience, beliefs are powerful but just because I believe something doesn't make it true. I know this contradicts LoA for many people, but this is my experience after years of this doing this stuff. There were times when people defied my beliefs about them. There were times when I had a strong belief and the opposite happened, and there were times when I didn't believe at all and the desired outcome happened despite my doubts. So my experience tells me that believing in something (or someone) is not the key. And there were times when I was in "alignment" and my intuition was louder and clearer - telling me to walk away from that specific person I once wanted so badly.

Looking back at my successes, I think it's all about your state of being/ state of energy/ way of consciousness. When the specific person I wanted came back into my life and we started over again, I didn't believe we would get back together, I doubted she still had feelings for me, but I moved on from her and lived in a state of self-love, self-belief, self-confidence, making new friends, acing projects, building my life. I felt confident, attractive, charming, I had a healthy self-concept of myself...And we just ran into each other and one thing led to another. Despite my doubts, she was still interested (same thing happened with another woman). I didn't believe this would happen at all, so belief in her and belief in the outcome wasn't the key, I think belief in myself was more important because it helped me live in a state of feeling loved, attractive, whole, etc. Maybe this feeling I had about myself influenced her to feel more attracted to me...but I wasn't concerned with influencing her at all. Though I believe our energy can influence others, I think being concerned about influencing others can take you out of the right state of mind you want to be in...for example - instead of keeping yourself in a state of feeling loved, you get carried away with forcing the person to feel it...which makes you feel stressed and anxious, not loved. And when you focus on influencing others, you can form a belief that you have to keep influencing, it's a belief in effort...but if you go to the end state of mind and feel "OK, I don't have to influence anyone because I am already loved"...well, isn't that enough?

Another example is when I had terrible friends . They were racist, sexist, negative. I believed at first that they were nice and in the beginning they seemed that way until their true colors came out. Why didn't I walk away from them? I was shy and it was harder to make new friends in class when everyone else had their own clique. So I didn't want to be alone. Basically - I had no self-love, I was too shy and scared of rejection, I wasn't applying self-love to this part of my life, So when I started to change myself and my beliefs...these guys didn't change, they were still the same negative group, I tried to change my beliefs about them but they still stayed the same. But I changed and I felt the inspiration to move on from them and make friends with awesome people. In other words, as my self-love became more powerful I gravitated to more positive and awesome people who were in harmony with me and I moved on from negative people who were not. It's not that everyone loves you when you're in "alignment", but you feel a calling to go to the right place or the right people, a state of flow, a feeling of clarity that's hard to express in words. So that's my experience with this stuff, I personally think it's more important to live in a mental/ emotional state of love/ self-love/ self-belief/ confidence and then see what you're truly attracted to, and what you're attracted to do.

One of my favorite Neville quotes:“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”— Neville Goddard

 

I notice a lot of what you said as well.      When you  really focus on yourself/have a strong sense of self love,etc.   you really don’t care too much about influencing others, you’re just worried about your life, loving yourself, having fun, etc    Everything is happening naturally and you’re not forcing anything

It sounds so opposite, but it’s like we influence people with our energy or whatever, when we don’t try to.   But when we try too hard to influence others, we repel them.  Probably cause as you said, we tend to stress it/get anxious

I was just about to say that it happened that way because you let go of the resistance to influence them. I never really thought in terms of trying hard to change someone because belief clings, faith let's go. It's all about the flow of energy and like you as well I decided to change who i surround myself with because the negative minded people brought me to a really state. I want to go back to the positive minds. That really uplifted me and the energy just flowed beautifully.