This may or may not be relevant to your situation, but I had a lot of trouble getting over somebody who I'd been totally in love with who I knew I really didn't want to be with any more because he had treated me like rubbish. I hadn't even seen him for two years. When circumstances brought us together again, I was able to finish my unfinished business with him by telling him how hurt and used I'd felt by the way he had  treated me. I didn't slag him off, I didn't get hysterical, I just calmly told him how it had made me feel. He was stunned into silence because I was finally standing up to him for once. I can honestly say that from that moment on I never gave him another thought and felt completely free of him, and what a relief that was.

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

This may or may not be relevant to your situation, but I had a lot of trouble getting over somebody who I'd been totally in love with who I knew I really didn't want to be with any more because he had treated me like rubbish. I hadn't even seen him for two years. When circumstances brought us together again, I was able to finish my unfinished business with him by telling him how hurt and used I'd felt by the way he had  treated me. I didn't slag him off, I didn't get hysterical, I just calmly told him how it had made me feel. He was stunned into silence because I was finally standing up to him for once. I can honestly say that from that moment on I never gave him another thought and felt completely free of him, and what a relief that was.

I still want him though . I m guessing the universe wants me to settle so I give up trying

 

Perhaps you've been trying too hard, possibly with a sense of desperation? Desperation will push something away as effectively as anything.

Cynthia wrote:

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

This may or may not be relevant to your situation, but I had a lot of trouble getting over somebody who I'd been totally in love with who I knew I really didn't want to be with any more because he had treated me like rubbish. I hadn't even seen him for two years. When circumstances brought us together again, I was able to finish my unfinished business with him by telling him how hurt and used I'd felt by the way he had  treated me. I didn't slag him off, I didn't get hysterical, I just calmly told him how it had made me feel. He was stunned into silence because I was finally standing up to him for once. I can honestly say that from that moment on I never gave him another thought and felt completely free of him, and what a relief that was.

I still want him though . I m guessing the universe wants me to settle so I give up trying

 

Perhaps you've been trying too hard, possibly with a sense of desperation? Desperation will push something away as effectively as anything.

I have been on a high vibe for a long time and been doing self love and things seemed to get better all around. I thought I was getting signs . I still want to be happy which is why I cry it out now. Meeting with him is standing up for myself about his mixed signals etc. my belief in the law is shaken...it seems to work for everything else

80saeaak wrote:

Sweetheart, you keep saying "I thought this was supposed to work", but you're missing how it works still.

Ask. Believe. Receive.

You're still asking. That fear is holding you back. Let go and move on. I watched a video from Dan Rasiostyle the other day and I finally got a clear answer about when you're supposed to stop visualizing and let it work on its own: Once you see the vision clearly, you stop. It means you've set your intention clearly without any confusion about what you want. It's time to believe it and move on.

Letting go is the hardest part. I'm on Day 1 of it. I'm reading "Love yourself Like Your Life Depends on It". When I start feeling resistance, I use the tips in the book. Then when I'm done with this book I'll read another. And another. I'll keep reading until I have no focus on this anymore. I suggest you do the same.

When it comes to reaching out again, I won't tell you not to. I did it. It's been a month with no response. The man said he wanted a woman who wouldn't cheat and wouldn't just give up and leave. Well that works both ways. He can't just throw his hands up and be unforgiving and think he's going to get a different thing than he's putting out (that's not just LOA- that's how life works always). At what point do these guys realize what they're missing? When we move on and don't care. That's when they care. They can't appreciate what's sitting there waiting for them. I'm making it my business to move on. Not to make him come back, but because I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of wondering when. I'm tired of visualizing. I'm just tired of it. Everything else is working out. When anything else in life doesn't work, we don't sit there and keep pushing and pushing. We walk away. Maybe regroup. Maybe try again later. And maybe not. Sometimes we just say "**** it" and don't think about it again.

Let's say "**** it" together. If it doesn't feel good, it's not right. Why torture ourselves?

 
When I didn't care at all about my POI any more he came back into my life again after 4 years and 4 months and seemed really keen. Unfortunately, we had a falling out and I haven't heard from him this year.

What 80s is saying is pretty much what I was saying the other day (and have always said) and you reacted very badly - and you have before too and it's hard to hear what you don't want to.

But people don't say this stuff to be negative or upset you, it's because we can see it from the outside and we really want to help and stop you going through what you've been going through for so very long now.