People throw the phrase victim blaming around without really understanding what it means. Victim blaming would be saying you not loving yourself is your fault. No-one says that here.

And like Stacey, the reason I know why loving yourself is so important is because I've been at the absolute bottom with my world falling apart (abusive past, PTSD yada yada yada) and self-love and more importantly, self-respect, changed everything for me.

What would have been really damaging for me when I was damaged would have been for people to encourage me to focus on the wrong things when my focus had to be ME. If you're broken, you can't expect someone else or a relationship to fix you, only you can do that. THEN you're in a place to look around and figure out what else you want out of life.

And if someone is mentally ill, this is not the place for them to get help. They need real life, effective help. The forum guidelines say it, Veronica says it......its not being mean, it's being ethical.

Last edited by Lifesagas (8/28/2017 12:37 am)

Lifesagas wrote:

People throw the phrase victim blaming around without really understanding what it means. Victim blaming would be saying you not loving yourself is your fault. No-one says that here.

And like Stacey, the reason I know why loving yourself is so important is because I've been at the absolute bottom with my world falling apart (abusive past, PTSD yada yada yada) and self-love and more importantly, self-respect, changed everything for me.

What would have been really damaging for me when I was damaged would have been for people to encourage me to focus on the wrong things when my focus had to be ME. If you're broken, you can't expect someone else or a relationship to fix you, only you can do that. THEN you're in a place to look around and figure out what else you want out of life.

And if someone is mentally ill, this is not the place for them to get help. They need real life, effective help. The forum guidelines say it, Veronica says it......its not being mean, it's being ethical.

I would agree that there isnt true victim-blaming here. One forum notorious for it is Powerful Intentions...
Idk I still feel this notion isn't helpful.
I have no desire to look inward. The furthest to self love is dressing up or making my face up or looking great. Or analyzing my sexuality. No further than that. Its painful.
I usually dont want to be me, and focus on others' problems instead of mine.




 

Staceylouuu91x wrote:

I don't see it as victim blaming in the slightest. I live with mental illness and currently out of work due to other health reasons, I've been in absolutely horrible and emotionally abusive situations. While I'm not out of the woods with regards to my health I've started to pull myself out of the rut I've been in through learning to love myself for who I am. 

Nobody is disputing that good things can come to those who have been down in the dumps and nobody has it together 100% of the time, I live with bipolar disorder, anxiety and have had issues with PTSD in the past so I can absolutely understand and relate to the whole feeling down and out thing, my moods can be awfully inconsistent. There has to be that drive and even a little bit of self-love to pull you out of the rut or situation you're in, don't get me wrong moral support is wonderful and has its place but you cannot help anybody who isn't willing to help themselves from a LOA standpoint or in general. 

 
I have mental illness too, undiagnosed (maybe depression). I find it easier to love others.