whitebutterflies11 wrote:

I wanted to see what you do because I'm kind of all over the place. I have like all of Lanie's mp3s, but I tend to use the PW for the same reasons you do. However, lately I've been falling asleep during them because I do them at night. I've also been doing the 25 day challenge so I do the visualizations that are part of that as well. I like that it gives you specific scenarios to follow. I can really embellish on them. & I do them to meditation/ relaxing music. For instance today my afternoon challenge was to visualize me and my POI at the beach. So I really took it and ran with it. I felt so happy during - almost on the verge of tears. That's really only happened once before.

As for PW, I'm still kind of confused as to how to go about doing it "correctly." Even though it's been said that there's no wrong way to do it.

I need to do what you do with imagining him with me daily. The picture is a good idea. I know I feel silly doing some things, but I think that's okay.

I still think my issue is being in a state of lack. It's so hard to live in the end result for me. I want to so badly. I want to let go and be happy!!!

 
As you probably know, there are 2 versions of PW, the one I have on which she speaks words meant to be from him and another one that has, I think, some blank space where you say your own.  I think you're worried about nothing. There is no wrong way, perfectionist, and I don't think it matters if you fall asleep. It doesn't with hypnosis, and this is pretty much the same thing.  I have also done her love spell several times and cutting the cord sometimes. I forgot to mention that Glenn Harrold's Get the Love You Want is excellent, and I use that sometimes. I've got the cd, but he probably has an mp3 download of it as well. I change what I do when what I'm doing starts to feel boring or I'm tired of it and, dare I say, even start to feel negative feelings towards it because I haven't seen results.

I feel silly sometimes as well, but nobody's watching me. I've got the same issues as you. It's hard to believe the reverse of what you've heard all your life, that cynical I'll believe it when I see it, when people like Neville have said and proved you'll see it when you believe it. One of my biggest issues is the feeling that nothing ever works for me, for everybody else, but not for me. I feel like, in a way, I almost sort of got off on the wrong foot with Lanie's mp3s because I didn't have the instant or very fast results that other people claimed to have had. Then, I think, you can blame yourself for doing it wrong.

I've been taking a break from it all lately, though.  I've been needing that.

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

I wanted to see what you do because I'm kind of all over the place. I have like all of Lanie's mp3s, but I tend to use the PW for the same reasons you do. However, lately I've been falling asleep during them because I do them at night. I've also been doing the 25 day challenge so I do the visualizations that are part of that as well. I like that it gives you specific scenarios to follow. I can really embellish on them. & I do them to meditation/ relaxing music. For instance today my afternoon challenge was to visualize me and my POI at the beach. So I really took it and ran with it. I felt so happy during - almost on the verge of tears. That's really only happened once before.

As for PW, I'm still kind of confused as to how to go about doing it "correctly." Even though it's been said that there's no wrong way to do it.

I need to do what you do with imagining him with me daily. The picture is a good idea. I know I feel silly doing some things, but I think that's okay.

I still think my issue is being in a state of lack. It's so hard to live in the end result for me. I want to so badly. I want to let go and be happy!!!

 
As you probably know, there are 2 versions of PW, the one I have on which she speaks words meant to be from him and another one that has, I think, some blank space where you say your own. I think you're worried about nothing. There is no wrong way, perfectionist, and I don't think it matters if you fall asleep. It doesn't with hypnosis, and this is pretty much the same thing. I have also done her love spell several times and cutting the cord sometimes. I forgot to mention that Glenn Harrold's Get the Love You Want is excellent, and I use that sometimes. I've got the cd, but he probably has an mp3 download of it as well. I change what I do when what I'm doing starts to feel boring or I'm tired of it and, dare I say, even start to feel negative feelings towards it because I haven't seen results.

I feel silly sometimes as well, but nobody's watching me. I've got the same issues as you. It's hard to believe the reverse of what you've heard all your life, that cynical I'll believe it when I see it, when people like Neville have said and proved you'll see it when you believe it. One of my biggest issues is the feeling that nothing ever works for me, for everybody else, but not for me. I feel like, in a way, I almost sort of got off on the wrong foot with Lanie's mp3s because I didn't have the instant or very fast results that other people claimed to have had. Then, I think, you can blame yourself for doing it wrong.

I've been taking a break from it all lately, though. I've been needing that.

Haha you know me already. I am such a perfectionist. Ugh. It's exhausting. I actually have both mp3s. I tend to use the one with 3 minutes silence to have my POI say things that I want to hear. I really need to remember to cut the cord after I do a technique because I definitely obsess about it afterwards.

And I am right there with you regarding not seeing results immediately like others have experienced. Why do you think that is? I definitely think that's why I question myself in doing the techniques. I feel like maybe I'm not doing them right since I haven't had tangible proof. But like you said about other people having success. Why would it work for others and not us?? It wouldn't. That's our limiting beliefs. We're focused on not having results that more of that keeps manifesting. I want to practice living in the end result. But how?!

That's good for you that you've been taking a break from visualizing. Sometimes that just keeps you too attached.

Yes I do, because I'm the same way, although I'm not as bad as I used to be, and I know how exhausting it is.

As I think I've said before, I need to have evidence, and there hasn't been enough evidence to me of certain claims, the.claims that have been made that you can make your POI think and feel exactly how you want them to, and from a distance no less. Other people doing this may have their POI somewhere nearby and have a way of being able to see if it seems to be doing any good, but I have no way of knowing, in the absence of hearing from my POI and having him say at least some of the things I've imagined him saying, whether it actually works or not. Also, the claims that these thoughts and feelings that you are causing them to have collect up and will eventually get through to them when they let their guard down and that they will eventually succumb and act the way you want them to.  I really want to believe that, and I do believe that it is possible to manifest a relationship with a certain person because I already did it unknowingly with my ex-husband, by doing the sorts of things I've been doing recently but without knowing and without having any recordings to use, and also by making the huge mistake of leaving out all of the important details that I wanted our relationship to be like, but the part I have trouble believing is that you can make them feel and think in specific ways.

At least you've had contact with your POI. I haven't heard from mine for over nine months, and I don't know if it is because he is hurt or angry with me for what I said to him at the time and is holding a grudge and wants nothing more to do with me or whether he thinks I don't want anything to do with him any more or some other reason. He has already shown a propensity for immaturity, in spite of the fact that he is a grown man with grown children, and had cut me off for no reason for a very long time, taking out what other women had done to him on me, when I hadn't shown him anything but support and kindness.  What really hurts me the most about the whole thing is probably that, after he had come back into my life after that long absence, he had told me that he'd wanted me in his life forever, that our friendship was forever, had indicated interest in more than friendship, and had said I'd never get rid of him now, and then, when I gave him a telling off for breaking so many promises, especially the last one, which was the most hurtful one of all, and they were small things, that he would just disappear without a word.  He had been sending me mixed messages for a long time as well. I know he's got a load of problems to cope with, but so do I, and it would be much easier to cope with our problems together than separately, at least from my point of view. I'm sure he's fearful because he's had nothing but bad relationships with women in his past, and most, if not all, cheated on him.  Toward the end of our contact he started saying and doing things that seemed like they were meant to push me away, and I think it was fear, I don't really think he meant to do that but it was some sort of self-protection.  He's also had a propensity for self-sabotage and self-destructiveness, and he can be very, very stubborn.

Have you followed up on having the drink with your POI?  I don't know whether my POI will even get the message I tried to send him through that other person, and since they don't see each other more than every few weeks or so, even if he did get it it might not be for weeks or longer if the other person forgot or something.  I only have one other way that seems like it would be much more reliable, and I don't want to have to do that, and I probably won't. It's pretty extreme, and it would probably be very expensive, and I am not so sure he's even worth it.. That would be to get a private detective, who probably could track him down pretty quickly and easily, as I don't think where he's supposed to be living is a very big place.  I have mixed feelings about whether to even continue on trying to attract him back.  Sometimes I don't think I even want to be bothered any more, it's just too much trouble and too painful, and I don't think it would be very hard to find somebody who treated me a lot better than he's done, but on the other hand, we're so right for each other in so many ways that I still want to create the ideal relationship between us.  I've probably been making this a lot harder than it needs to be.

I have started rereading the book Manifesting Love by Elizabeth Daniels again. She and her POI were thousands of miles apart in different countries, had been friends but sounded as though they had not been in contact for a certain period of time, it wasn't clear, and in less than three weeks he contacted her and they got together and have been together ever since, apparently.

I want to live in the end result as well, and I listen to Neville Goddard over and over again telling how to do that and hoping I will finally get the knack of it myself.

 

Last edited by Cynthia (9/20/2017 11:02 pm)

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Haha you know me already. I am such a perfectionist. Ugh. It's exhausting. I actually have both mp3s. I tend to use the one with 3 minutes silence to have my POI say things that I want to hear. I really need to remember to cut the cord after I do a technique because I definitely obsess about it afterwards.

And I am right there with you regarding not seeing results immediately like others have experienced. Why do you think that is? I definitely think that's why I question myself in doing the techniques. I feel like maybe I'm not doing them right since I haven't had tangible proof. But like you said about other people having success. Why would it work for others and not us?? It wouldn't. That's our limiting beliefs. We're focused on not having results that more of that keeps manifesting. I want to practice living in the end result. But how?!

That's good for you that you've been taking a break from visualizing. Sometimes that just keeps you too attached.

Yes I do, because I'm the same way, although I'm not as bad as I used to be, and I know how exhausting it is.

As I think I've said before, I need to have evidence, and there hasn't been enough evidence to me of certain claims, the.claims that have been made that you can make your POI think and feel exactly how you want them to, and from a distance no less. Other people doing this may have their POI somewhere nearby and have a way of being able to see if it seems to be doing any good, but I have no way of knowing, in the absence of hearing from my POI and having him say at least some of the things I've imagined him saying, whether it actually works or not. Also, the claims that these thoughts and feelings that you are causing them to have collect up and will eventually get through to them when they let their guard down and that they will eventually succumb and act the way you want them to.  I really want to believe that, and I do believe that it is possible to manifest a relationship with a certain person because I already did it unknowingly with my ex-husband, by doing the sorts of things I've been doing recently but without knowing and without having any recordings to use, and also by making the huge mistake of leaving out all of the important details that I wanted our relationship to be like, but the part I have trouble believing is that you can make them feel and think in specific ways.

At least you've had contact with your POI. I haven't heard from mine for over nine months, and I don't know if it is because he is hurt or angry with me for what I said to him at the time and is holding a grudge and wants nothing more to do with me or whether he thinks I don't want anything to do with him any more or some other reason. He has already shown a propensity for immaturity, in spite of the fact that he is a grown man with grown children, and had cut me off for no reason for a very long time, taking out what other women had done to him on me, when I hadn't shown him anything but support and kindness.  What really hurts me the most about the whole thing is probably that, after he had come back into my life after that long absence, he had told me that he'd wanted me in his life forever, that our friendship was forever, had indicated interest in more than friendship, and had said I'd never get rid of him now, and then, when I gave him a telling off for breaking so many promises, especially the last one, which was the most hurtful one of all, and they were small things, that he would just disappear without a word.  He had been sending me mixed messages for a long time as well. I know he's got a load of problems to cope with, but so do I, and it would be much easier to cope with our problems together than separately, at least from my point of view. I'm sure he's fearful because he's had nothing but bad relationships with women in his past, and most, if not all, cheated on him.  Toward the end of our contact he started saying and doing things that seemed like they were meant to push me away, and I think it was fear, I don't really think he meant to do that but it was some sort of self-protection.  He's also had a propensity for self-sabotage and self-destructiveness, and he can be very, very stubborn.

Have you followed up on having the drink with your POI?  I don't know whether my POI will even get the message I tried to send him through that other person, and since they don't see each other more than every few weeks or so, even if he did get it it might not be for weeks or longer if the other person forgot or something.  I only have one other way that seems like it would be much more reliable, and I don't want to have to do that, and I probably won't. It's pretty extreme, and it would probably be very expensive, and I am not so sure he's even worth it.. That would be to get a private detective, who probably could track him down pretty quickly and easily, as I don't think where he's supposed to be living is a very big place.  I have mixed feelings about whether to even continue on trying to attract him back.  Sometimes I don't think I even want to be bothered any more, it's just too much trouble and too painful, and I don't think it would be very hard to find somebody who treated me a lot better than he's done, but on the other hand, we're so right for each other in so many ways that I still want to create the ideal relationship between us.  I've probably been making this a lot harder than it needs to be.

I have started rereading the book Manifesting Love by Elizabeth Daniels again. She and her POI were thousands of miles apart in different countries, had been friends but sounded as though they had not been in contact for a certain period of time, it wasn't clear, and in less than three weeks he contacted her and they got together and have been together ever since, apparently.

I want to live in the end result as well, and I listen to Neville Goddard over and over again telling how to do that and hoping I will finally get the knack of it myself.

 

I have to be honest, today is the first day in a long time where I am really starting to recognize my self worth. I know deep down that I have everything going for me, but today, it was like I thought to myself (in a non-conceited way), "wtf is wrong with him? I really am everything he specifically would love in a potential wife" I took a good hard look at everything I have to offer & he's obviously not in the right mindset. I know this post completely sounds like I am full of myself, but the truth of the matter is you really need to get a hold of yourself and love for yourself. We're intelligent women and I feel like we're putting too much emphasis on our one specific person that clearly are not deserving of our love right now.

I can't speak for your situation, but I KNOW that for mine, I definitely put my POI on a pedestal when we were dating. I would neglect myself and my friends at the drop of a hat if he was free. It was always on his terms. And now looking back on it, I think our relationship ended for a reason. Even though I KNOW we're meant to be together and that we WILL get married, the timing and several factors were not right. The Universe / God does know what's best for us- even when we think we know what we really want or what's best. I think I am FINALLY getting it & giving in to this whole LOA trusting process. It's taking the burden off me and I am going to live day by day and just be happy with myself and everything that I have. You mentioned before you're ill- try to focus on healing! I obviously am no expert, but I think it's not only healthier for us, but I think that's when all the magic will happen and everything will line up for us to get back with our POIs. 

As for the physical evidence, it sucks- I'm right there with you. And I know just last night I posted about wanting to live in the end result and how bad I hate not having physical proof. But let's try to look at it as a mind game. Act as if the biggest surprise of our lives is unfolding behind the scenes. Because truthfully, that IS what's happening.

So to answer your question, no, I did not reach out to my POI regarding our drink. I told him I want to, he said sounds good. I feel like I'll look too desperate if I reached out again about it. So, I visualized us having a drink and then him texting me after telling me how much he enjoyed it and I am letting it go! I am putting too much stock into it. I'm too attached. The only way for things to change is for me to let it go. I did my visualization, set my intention, and now I have to trust that when the time is right it'll all unfold exactly as expected, if not better! 

It's funny you mentioned Neville Goddard today, because my afternoon "assignment" for the 25 day challenge was to read his work. So I listened to one of his speeches about living in the end. It's still a little confusing to me, but I think the whole thing is to just be happy. If you were with your POI in the physical realm, you'd be a happy person. You already imagine talking to him. What else could you do to "live in the end result" other than be happy. Because I am sure you have low vibe days without him in your physical realm. So the key is to be as happy as possible!

A few things that I feel have been working for me the past few days: 1. I am actually online dating. I haven't been on a date, but I have begun talking to a few men. It's raising my vibe knowing that I can have men interested in me and that it's just nice to occupy my mind on something other than my POI. 2. I have been spending time with friends and family who make me laugh and happy. 3. I have been trying to listen to relaxing music at least 10 minutes a day, visualizing happy times with my POI or even just clearing my mind completely. These are things that I haven't been doing for too long, but the past few days they definitely have been helping me with keeping my vibe high and not so obsessed with my POI.

I'm sorry for the long post. I just think that the only way to change the physical realm is to change your thoughts. Fake it until you make it if you have to. Start off gently shifting your thoughts and then eventually it'll be second nature and your POI's whereabouts, who he's seeing, etc. will be furthest from your mind.

I hope this helps! I'm here for you if you want to vent or for moral support

I don't think you're sounding conceited at all.  I know that I'm exactly what my POI would want in a wife and he doesn't know how lucky he's been to have me in his life when nobody else wanted anything to do with him. No question about it. That's part of the problem. I really think he took me for granted and didn't treat me very well a lot of the time because he thought I'd stay in his life regardless.   I was feeling a lot better about myself with the self love, etc. until I came down with this extra illness on Sunday, and it's really been bringing me down.  Another thing is that I've had recurrent bouts of feeling resentment toward him build up for coming back into my life, stirring up my feelings for him again, making me think he cared about me as well, and then disappearing on me again, after telling me he wanted me in his life forever and I'd never get rid of him now.  You can see what a man of his word he isn't, and that has been one of the biggest problems I've had with him.  Usually I mostly feel love for him and not resentment and anger, but this week has been particularly bad in that way because it is a big reminder of how he snubbed me on my birthday every year and didn't think enough of me to even send me a card or ring me up.  Our birthdays are three days apart, his was yesterday, mine is on Saturday, and that was one of the two biggest factors that made me give him the big telling off I did. The other one was voluntarily promising me he'd tell me his big news first and then telling me last instead. He made loads of voluntary promises to me and perhaps kept a couple of them.

I've been hearing about something called ho'oponopono lately and had no idea what it was, so I looked into it today and started doing it. At first I couldn't stop sobbing, but I did it on him (the feelings I've been having due to his treatment of me) and on me and got rid of the resentment I've been feeling better than with any other method I've tried, and within a few minutes.  Last year I tried some EFT tapping sessions, not for that because at the time things were still better than they became with my POI, certainly not at their best, though,, and I may have not given EFT enough of a chance.  It was super expensive because I was working with an expert at it, but I didn't feel like it was doing anything for me.  What it did was make me feel very emotional and very tearful when I wasn't feeling that way, and I didn't feel like I was releasing any of that.

I didn't realise you were ever dating your POI. From what you said before, since I think you said that he was your almost was, that he was somebody who had shown some interest in you but nothing had really come of it so far as far as dating or anything.  I had a similar thing with mine of dropping everything and making myself available if he wanted to talk to me on the phone. However, in my case, it was because he didn't even have a phone and had to use a pay phone and I wanted to make it as easy as possible for him when he said he was going to ring me.  After awhile, when he didn't ring me when he said he was going to, I stopped being as available, though.

I have been working on my health issues, which have been ongoing for some time. I've had years and years of extreme stress, one thing after another, and big things,which I won't go into, but a load of big losses, and the stress of it has certainly made me a lot worse than I was to begin with.   I'm also getting ready to move back to England, which is taking me much longer than I thought and hoped it would.  I used to own a house in London, but that's one of my losses.  I'm not nearly ready to move as it is, but my mother died, so now I'm also waiting to see if I inherited enough to enable me to move back to London because I'm determined to move back there one way or another.  Like you, the timing with my POI and I has not been ideal, to say the least. He's got a load of problems to get sorted, and so do I.  I used to believe that we were meant to be together eventually, and I suppose I still do believe that, but he's a very stubborn person, and he's already turned against me for things I didn't even do, that other women did, so my telling him off as harshly as I did, even though he had invited me to tell him off if he needed it, is something he might hold against me forever.  I'm the forgiving one of the two of us.  It's good that you can trust because I'm not a trusting person any more, not after my life's experiences.

I really would like to believe that some fantastic, wonderful surprise was unfolding behind the scenes. I've already had loads of very nasty ones that I never would have dreamt in a million years would have happened.

I like your idea about your drink with your POI.  It sounds very good to me.

I listen to Neville Goddard most days.  He was a master at making this stuff work, and when I listen to him often enough I start to believe that I can do it too.  It's really having this extra illness that has made me feel more negative than I'd been feeling. At least this one should eventually run it's course, hopefully by next week, although it's more severe and longer lasting than similar I've had before.  As far as I can tell, what he means by living in the end is creating in your imagination things being exactly as you want them to be and experiencing them with your senses as well.  For example, the wearing of a wedding ring in your imagination if you want to be married, feeling the ring on your finger, perhaps having your POI lying in bed next to you in your imagination.  Perhaps he's wearing after shave and you can smell that.  If you kiss, you feel his lips against yours.  You feel his arm around you.  It's like you're living it now, seeing it as though it's happening now, not like you're looking at yourself on a screen.  I know exactly what he means, actually, but I might not be explaining it very well.  It's not only having the desire and hoping for it to happen, it's experiencing it in your imagination like it's already happening now.

I'm not interested in online dating, but not because I only want my POI and nobody else. I'm planning to move thousands of miles away from where I am now, I've got loads of preparations still to do, and I'd rather wait until I got back home and got reestablished there and hopefully will start to feel better in the meantime.  I've had men interested in me without the online dating, but I haven't been interested in them. It does give you a boost, though, when other men are interested in you when your POI doesn't seem to be. You don't have that problem, though. You've been in contact with yours and sound like you're on friendly terms, whereas mine cut me off and might behave like a spoilt brat indefinitely like he already has done before.

I don't even know whether that person I sent the message through to my POI has even looked at it, but I haven't had any kind of reply saying that he'd do it.  I didn't ask for a reply, but it's the polite thing to do to at least acknowledge something like that.  He belongs to a group of people who have been largely uncooperative and obstructive, but I was hoping he would be an exception, and perhaps he will be an exception and pass the message along, but unless I hear from my POI I'll never know.

I like your long post. No need to apologise. Mine go on forever as well.  Changing your thoughts is something you definitely have to do to have a different physical realm.  I do not think that my POI is seeing anybody. Shortly before he cut me off, he'd announced to me that he didn't want a girlfriend for a while, not just me, not anybody, so I haven't been at all worried about that.  It might not be so terrible if he did, though, because I think he would see that nobody else could compare to me.  I've been so good to him, and we're so much alike in so many good ways, that he would be a total idiot to go back to his previous bad choices in women who would just drag him back down with them when he's trying to pick himself back up.

Thanks for saying you'll be there for me. Same here for you.

Last edited by Cynthia (9/22/2017 12:00 am)

Cynthia wrote:

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

Yes I do, because I'm the same way, although I'm not as bad as I used to be, and I know how exhausting it is.

As I think I've said before, I need to have evidence, and there hasn't been enough evidence to me of certain claims, the.claims that have been made that you can make your POI think and feel exactly how you want them to, and from a distance no less. Other people doing this may have their POI somewhere nearby and have a way of being able to see if it seems to be doing any good, but I have no way of knowing, in the absence of hearing from my POI and having him say at least some of the things I've imagined him saying, whether it actually works or not. Also, the claims that these thoughts and feelings that you are causing them to have collect up and will eventually get through to them when they let their guard down and that they will eventually succumb and act the way you want them to.  I really want to believe that, and I do believe that it is possible to manifest a relationship with a certain person because I already did it unknowingly with my ex-husband, by doing the sorts of things I've been doing recently but without knowing and without having any recordings to use, and also by making the huge mistake of leaving out all of the important details that I wanted our relationship to be like, but the part I have trouble believing is that you can make them feel and think in specific ways.

At least you've had contact with your POI. I haven't heard from mine for over nine months, and I don't know if it is because he is hurt or angry with me for what I said to him at the time and is holding a grudge and wants nothing more to do with me or whether he thinks I don't want anything to do with him any more or some other reason. He has already shown a propensity for immaturity, in spite of the fact that he is a grown man with grown children, and had cut me off for no reason for a very long time, taking out what other women had done to him on me, when I hadn't shown him anything but support and kindness.  What really hurts me the most about the whole thing is probably that, after he had come back into my life after that long absence, he had told me that he'd wanted me in his life forever, that our friendship was forever, had indicated interest in more than friendship, and had said I'd never get rid of him now, and then, when I gave him a telling off for breaking so many promises, especially the last one, which was the most hurtful one of all, and they were small things, that he would just disappear without a word.  He had been sending me mixed messages for a long time as well. I know he's got a load of problems to cope with, but so do I, and it would be much easier to cope with our problems together than separately, at least from my point of view. I'm sure he's fearful because he's had nothing but bad relationships with women in his past, and most, if not all, cheated on him.  Toward the end of our contact he started saying and doing things that seemed like they were meant to push me away, and I think it was fear, I don't really think he meant to do that but it was some sort of self-protection.  He's also had a propensity for self-sabotage and self-destructiveness, and he can be very, very stubborn.

Have you followed up on having the drink with your POI?  I don't know whether my POI will even get the message I tried to send him through that other person, and since they don't see each other more than every few weeks or so, even if he did get it it might not be for weeks or longer if the other person forgot or something.  I only have one other way that seems like it would be much more reliable, and I don't want to have to do that, and I probably won't. It's pretty extreme, and it would probably be very expensive, and I am not so sure he's even worth it.. That would be to get a private detective, who probably could track him down pretty quickly and easily, as I don't think where he's supposed to be living is a very big place.  I have mixed feelings about whether to even continue on trying to attract him back.  Sometimes I don't think I even want to be bothered any more, it's just too much trouble and too painful, and I don't think it would be very hard to find somebody who treated me a lot better than he's done, but on the other hand, we're so right for each other in so many ways that I still want to create the ideal relationship between us.  I've probably been making this a lot harder than it needs to be.

I have started rereading the book Manifesting Love by Elizabeth Daniels again. She and her POI were thousands of miles apart in different countries, had been friends but sounded as though they had not been in contact for a certain period of time, it wasn't clear, and in less than three weeks he contacted her and they got together and have been together ever since, apparently.

I want to live in the end result as well, and I listen to Neville Goddard over and over again telling how to do that and hoping I will finally get the knack of it myself.

 

I have to be honest, today is the first day in a long time where I am really starting to recognize my self worth. I know deep down that I have everything going for me, but today, it was like I thought to myself (in a non-conceited way), "wtf is wrong with him? I really am everything he specifically would love in a potential wife" I took a good hard look at everything I have to offer & he's obviously not in the right mindset. I know this post completely sounds like I am full of myself, but the truth of the matter is you really need to get a hold of yourself and love for yourself. We're intelligent women and I feel like we're putting too much emphasis on our one specific person that clearly are not deserving of our love right now.

I can't speak for your situation, but I KNOW that for mine, I definitely put my POI on a pedestal when we were dating. I would neglect myself and my friends at the drop of a hat if he was free. It was always on his terms. And now looking back on it, I think our relationship ended for a reason. Even though I KNOW we're meant to be together and that we WILL get married, the timing and several factors were not right. The Universe / God does know what's best for us- even when we think we know what we really want or what's best. I think I am FINALLY getting it & giving in to this whole LOA trusting process. It's taking the burden off me and I am going to live day by day and just be happy with myself and everything that I have. You mentioned before you're ill- try to focus on healing! I obviously am no expert, but I think it's not only healthier for us, but I think that's when all the magic will happen and everything will line up for us to get back with our POIs. 

As for the physical evidence, it sucks- I'm right there with you. And I know just last night I posted about wanting to live in the end result and how bad I hate not having physical proof. But let's try to look at it as a mind game. Act as if the biggest surprise of our lives is unfolding behind the scenes. Because truthfully, that IS what's happening.

So to answer your question, no, I did not reach out to my POI regarding our drink. I told him I want to, he said sounds good. I feel like I'll look too desperate if I reached out again about it. So, I visualized us having a drink and then him texting me after telling me how much he enjoyed it and I am letting it go! I am putting too much stock into it. I'm too attached. The only way for things to change is for me to let it go. I did my visualization, set my intention, and now I have to trust that when the time is right it'll all unfold exactly as expected, if not better! 

It's funny you mentioned Neville Goddard today, because my afternoon "assignment" for the 25 day challenge was to read his work. So I listened to one of his speeches about living in the end. It's still a little confusing to me, but I think the whole thing is to just be happy. If you were with your POI in the physical realm, you'd be a happy person. You already imagine talking to him. What else could you do to "live in the end result" other than be happy. Because I am sure you have low vibe days without him in your physical realm. So the key is to be as happy as possible!

A few things that I feel have been working for me the past few days: 1. I am actually online dating. I haven't been on a date, but I have begun talking to a few men. It's raising my vibe knowing that I can have men interested in me and that it's just nice to occupy my mind on something other than my POI. 2. I have been spending time with friends and family who make me laugh and happy. 3. I have been trying to listen to relaxing music at least 10 minutes a day, visualizing happy times with my POI or even just clearing my mind completely. These are things that I haven't been doing for too long, but the past few days they definitely have been helping me with keeping my vibe high and not so obsessed with my POI.

I'm sorry for the long post. I just think that the only way to change the physical realm is to change your thoughts. Fake it until you make it if you have to. Start off gently shifting your thoughts and then eventually it'll be second nature and your POI's whereabouts, who he's seeing, etc. will be furthest from your mind.

I hope this helps! I'm here for you if you want to vent or for moral support

I don't think you're sounding conceited at all.  I know that I'm exactly what my POI would want in a wife and he doesn't know how lucky he's been to have me in his life when nobody else wanted anything to do with him. No question about it. That's part of the problem. I really think he took me for granted and didn't treat me very well a lot of the time because he thought I'd stay in his life regardless.   I was feeling a lot better about myself with the self love, etc. until I came down with this extra illness on Sunday, and it's really been bringing me down.  Another thing is that I've had recurrent bouts of feeling resentment toward him build up for coming back into my life, stirring up my feelings for him again, making me think he cared about me as well, and then disappearing on me again, after telling me he wanted me in his life forever and I'd never get rid of him now.  You can see what a man of his word he isn't, and that has been one of the biggest problems I've had with him.  Usually I mostly feel love for him and not resentment and anger, but this week has been particularly bad in that way because it is a big reminder of how he snubbed me on my birthday every year and didn't think enough of me to even send me a card or ring me up.  Our birthdays are three days apart, his was yesterday, mine is on Saturday, and that was one of the two biggest factors that made me give him the big telling off I did. The other one was voluntarily promising me he'd tell me his big news first and then telling me last instead. He made loads of voluntary promises to me and perhaps kept a couple of them.

I've been hearing about something called ho'oponopono lately and had no idea what it was, so I looked into it today and started doing it. At first I couldn't stop sobbing, but I did it on him (the feelings I've been having due to his treatment of me) and on me and got rid of the resentment I've been feeling better than with any other method I've tried, and within a few minutes.  Last year I tried some EFT tapping sessions, not for that because at the time things were still better than they became with my POI, certainly not at their best, though,, and I may have not given EFT enough of a chance.  It was super expensive because I was working with an expert at it, but I didn't feel like it was doing anything for me.  What it did was make me feel very emotional and very tearful when I wasn't feeling that way, and I didn't feel like I was releasing any of that.

I didn't realise you were ever dating your POI. From what you said before, since I think you said that he was your almost was, that he was somebody who had shown some interest in you but nothing had really come of it so far as far as dating or anything.  I had a similar thing with mine of dropping everything and making myself available if he wanted to talk to me on the phone. However, in my case, it was because he didn't even have a phone and had to use a pay phone and I wanted to make it as easy as possible for him when he said he was going to ring me.  After awhile, when he didn't ring me when he said he was going to, I stopped being as available, though.

I have been working on my health issues, which have been ongoing for some time. I've had years and years of extreme stress, one thing after another, and big things,which I won't go into, but a load of big losses, and the stress of it has certainly made me a lot worse than I was to begin with.   I'm also getting ready to move back to England, which is taking me much longer than I thought and hoped it would.  I used to own a house in London, but that's one of my losses.  I'm not nearly ready to move as it is, but my mother died, so now I'm also waiting to see if I inherited enough to enable me to move back to London because I'm determined to move back there one way or another.  Like you, the timing with my POI and I has not been ideal, to say the least. He's got a load of problems to get sorted, and so do I.  I used to believe that we were meant to be together eventually, and I suppose I still do believe that, but he's a very stubborn person, and he's already turned against me for things I didn't even do, that other women did, so my telling him off as harshly as I did, even though he had invited me to tell him off if he needed it, is something he might hold against me forever.  I'm the forgiving one of the two of us.  It's good that you can trust because I'm not a trusting person any more, not after my life's experiences.

I really would like to believe that some fantastic, wonderful surprise was unfolding behind the scenes. I've already had loads of very nasty ones that I never would have dreamt in a million years would have happened.

I like your idea about your drink with your POI.  It sounds very good to me.

I listen to Neville Goddard most days.  He was a master at making this stuff work, and when I listen to him often enough I start to believe that I can do it too.  It's really having this extra illness that has made me feel more negative than I'd been feeling. At least this one should eventually run it's course, hopefully by next week, although it's more severe and longer lasting than similar I've had before.  As far as I can tell, what he means by living in the end is creating in your imagination things being exactly as you want them to be and experiencing them with your senses as well.  For example, the wearing of a wedding ring in your imagination if you want to be married, feeling the ring on your finger, perhaps having your POI lying in bed next to you in your imagination.  Perhaps he's wearing after shave and you can smell that.  If you kiss, you feel his lips against yours.  You feel his arm around you.  It's like you're living it now, seeing it as though it's happening now, not like you're looking at yourself on a screen.  I know exactly what he means, actually, but I might not be explaining it very well.  It's not only having the desire and hoping for it to happen, it's experiencing it in your imagination like it's already happening now.

I'm not interested in online dating, but not because I only want my POI and nobody else. I'm planning to move thousands of miles away from where I am now, I've got loads of preparations still to do, and I'd rather wait until I got back home and got reestablished there and hopefully will start to feel better in the meantime.  I've had men interested in me without the online dating, but I haven't been interested in them. It does give you a boost, though, when other men are interested in you when your POI doesn't seem to be. You don't have that problem, though. You've been in contact with yours and sound like you're on friendly terms, whereas mine cut me off and might behave like a spoilt brat indefinitely like he already has done before.

I don't even know whether that person I sent the message through to my POI has even looked at it, but I haven't had any kind of reply saying that he'd do it.  I didn't ask for a reply, but it's the polite thing to do to at least acknowledge something like that.  He belongs to a group of people who have been largely uncooperative and obstructive, but I was hoping he would be an exception, and perhaps he will be an exception and pass the message along, but unless I hear from my POI I'll never know.

I like your long post. No need to apologise. Mine go on forever as well.  Changing your thoughts is something you definitely have to do to have a different physical realm.  I do not think that my POI is seeing anybody. Shortly before he cut me off, he'd announced to me that he didn't want a girlfriend for a while, not just me, not anybody, so I haven't been at all worried about that.  It might not be so terrible if he did, though, because I think he would see that nobody else could compare to me.  I've been so good to him, and we're so much alike in so many good ways, that he would be a total idiot to go back to his previous bad choices in women who would just drag him back down with them when he's trying to pick himself back up.

Thanks for saying you'll be there for me. Same here for you.

Sorry, yes, my POI and I were dating for about 7 months. I meant he was my almost was because we never met each other's families or anything like that and we were not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. It was very casual. The timing was the issue. There were times when we were hanging out and he said something like "do you think our timing is off" and he also said how he spent the majority of his 20s in two serious relationships and that he guesses now he's got to have his fun or something to that extent. But he only said this once and I think he kind of laughed it off afterwards so I didn't know if he was serious or not. But looking back on it, it makes me think that he was serious. Our timing WAS off. He's still not ready to actually settle down. I am 100% exactly the type of girl that checks off all of his boxes. And he is VERY picky. I just can't help but think that we met at the wrong time. Which is why I am taking that and running with it.

As for online dating, I think I am having fun with it because I have no expectations. I don't go out often and I come from a small town where everyone is either married or I am not interested. So meeting new guys is a limited occurrence. If anything, the whole online dating thing is a good distraction from obsessing over my POI. 

I think you've done a great job explaining Neville's work. And I specifically remember him talking about the wedding ring. I do that from time to time when I am driving. I look at my left ring finger on the steering wheel and imagine the diamond ring on it. The past couple of nights I have been trying to imagine my POI laying in bed with me when I fall asleep and when I wake up. I even cleared out a section of my closet for his things.

The whole situation with you sending your message to your POI through the mutual friend, I would live as if so to speak. Instead of thinking about whether it was delivered to your POI or not, live as if you KNOW that the message was sent. Stay positive about it! Just try to imagine the whole scenario of your POI receiving the message & continue your day to day content knowing that your message has been received & he's thinking of the best possible way to respond.

As for your POI (and mine for that matter) seeing other women, I would not worry about it. You've already said that you know you're the perfect woman for him. You need to just leave it at that. That's what I'm trying to do as well. I even said back in June that maybe my POI DOES need to see other women to see what he really had in me. Because I am still FLOORED that he was so quick to end things due to the fact that he felt like we were in a "friend zone." I really think that was a copout. If he were really serious about settling down, knowing what he knows about me, my background, my career, assets, etc. he would've wanted to try a little harder to make it work. But there was very minimal effort on his end. So back to what I was saying before I ranted about why we ended... They'll realize one day (maybe when it's too late) that we ARE the best fit for them and it's not the easiest thing to find someone that compatible. I am trying to remain positive and say an affirmation similar to that lately.

I appreciate your support as well!

I really think you hit the nail on the head with my POI. I do think he needs more time to mature, for lack of a better word. He just turned 31. I'm 29. Men (esp in today's society do seem to take a little longer to grow up) and him specifically, he has made comments about his past and his regrets. I do think he's afraid of commitment and definitely being hurt. Bc the night he ended things he said "well how much longer would we see if this works, a year? And if it doesn't, then more emotion will be involved." That right there sounds to me like he's sparing himself from potential hurt. I feel like now any girl he sees is casual- girls he knows there's no future with. He comes from a very strict and judgmental family who have specific expectations for the kind of woman he should be with (all of which I fit)

Oh, I was confused about how you'd be getting the message to him. It's alright. Still act as if the other person received it & passed it along. I've never tried the technique you tried the other day, but it sounds like good stuff! How often can you do that?

The way you talk about your compatibilty with your POI is EXACTLY like my situation. It was crazy each time finding out more about each other. We were both like damn! It was a breath of fresh air. Not only are we highly similar in all areas- from goal to idiosyncrasies to family background- it's unbelievable, I am extremely attracted to him. I kept saying it felt too good to be true & I kept doubting his interest in me and our whole relationship. So I know I manifested my currently reality. Through my negative thoughts & words. Which is why I HAVE to keep the faith. I know if I've manifested this physical reality, I can manifest having him back in my life with me.

Let's stay positive. We got this!!