whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Hi all!

Not sure if this is the correct place on the forum to post this question, but I'll try it anyway. Please let me know if I should be posting this elsewhere.

So, my POI and I were in contact a little over 2 weeks ago. We were catching up and it was a friendly and light conversations on both ends (I initiated contact on his birthday). Anyway, I was being playful and said "we should get a drink sometime to celebrate our birthdays" and he had responded "sounds good " Again, this was back on September 7th. BUT, I haven't heard from him since that day. So my question is: should I initiate a text to him again about a drink or should I try to manifest him initiating contact for the drink? I am SO confused what to do. I don't want to appear needy/desperate. However, I don't want to miss an opportunity to meet up with him since he already pretty much agreed to it.

Any advice would be extremely appreciated

Not that I'm any authority, but I think if it were me under the circumstances you've described that I would contact him because otherwise it could be a missed opportunity. He's already, as you say, pretty much agreed to it.  I actually am starting to think that too much emphasis has been made on no contact and trying to manifest the other person doing everything when, at least in certain circumstances, such as yours, I think, I don't think that's necessary.  It's up to you, but I think I would contact him.
Another thing to think about is that you've already been in contact with him, so the no contact shouldn't make any difference.


 

Last edited by Cynthia (9/19/2017 8:15 pm)

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Hi all!

Not sure if this is the correct place on the forum to post this question, but I'll try it anyway. Please let me know if I should be posting this elsewhere.

So, my POI and I were in contact a little over 2 weeks ago. We were catching up and it was a friendly and light conversations on both ends (I initiated contact on his birthday). Anyway, I was being playful and said "we should get a drink sometime to celebrate our birthdays" and he had responded "sounds good " Again, this was back on September 7th. BUT, I haven't heard from him since that day. So my question is: should I initiate a text to him again about a drink or should I try to manifest him initiating contact for the drink? I am SO confused what to do. I don't want to appear needy/desperate. However, I don't want to miss an opportunity to meet up with him since he already pretty much agreed to it.

Any advice would be extremely appreciated

Not that I'm any authority, but I think if it were me under the circumstances you've described that I would contact him because otherwise it could be a missed opportunity. He's already, as you say, pretty much agreed to it.  I actually am starting to think that too much emphasis has been made on no contact and trying to manifest the other person doing everything when, at least in certain circumstances, such as yours, I think, I don't think that's necessary.  It's up to you, but I think I would contact him.
Another thing to think about is that you've already been in contact with him, so the no contact shouldn't make any difference.


 

You do make a good point. We have been in contact. Via text on 3 occasions since June actually now that I think about it. I just feel like it's no skin off his back right now if we don't meet up for a drink. Meaning it wasn't his idea, so if it doesn't happen it's not a big deal. Plus I was the one that suggested it, so maybe I should be the one to follow up with making an actual plan for getting a drink. Sometimes I think that by putting so much emphasis on him contacting me first, I'm beginning to think it's like a game. The stupid games we play (at least I know people around me do) when you first dating someone. "I don't want to text him first.." or "I want him to text me first" etc.

Thanks for responding. I'm curious about others' feelings about this too! 

Since you're the one who suggested it, it's entirely appropriate for you to follow up on it. There are lot of other people on here who have not continued with the no contact idea and have made the first move, and sometimes it's worked out really well for them. It might have been just what the other person needed to get them to take some action.