No, you haven't ruined anything. It's never too late.  I think you should stop looking at his instagram or whatever and focus on what you want, not what you fear.  He said 'sounds good' about the birthday meeting, keep imagining getting together on the birthday for the drink and having a good time together, and ignore any other girls. Do yourself a favour, and don't look any more.

I visualise in different ways. It's probably more effective if you get yourself into a relaxed, receptive state first, which needn't take long. I do it this way, but I also do it sometimes when I'm doing other things that require no real concentration. Another thing I do sometimes that I got the idea from Neville Goddard to do is to write a letter to myself that is supposed to be from another person that says what I want them to say to me and read it over and over until it seems more real that they wrote it to me rather than I wrote it to myself.

Last edited by Cynthia (9/15/2017 6:31 pm)

I also do some of Lanie Stevens' meditations, along with other things. One thing I do, since I play them through my TV that I've got hooked up to my computer, is, when I want to listen to more than one, once I've listened to the first one I click on the subsequent one(s) at the place where the actual content begins, missing out the relaxation at the beginning, which saves a lot of time and also helps with the restlessness and lack of concentration that can start to set in after awhile.
It sounds to me like you are doing just fine with your visualising from the last statement you made.  I listen to Neville Goddard's lectures a lot, and he was always talking about imagination creating reality and living from the end in the wish fulfilled. He was saying in one of his lectures that when he met his second wife from the very first second he clapped eyes on her he wanted to marry her. He said he didn't bring sex into it, (he didn't practise remote seduction like some people suggest), all he did was imagine them being blissfully happily married to each other and living together in the same apartment. They had twin beds, and he would imagine her on her bed and himself on his bed being blissfully happy together, and I think it was a long marriage, and they had a daughter together. He liked to do this before he slept. He had a different wife at the time, from what he said I don't think they were even living together any more, and he used the same method, imagination, to get divorced from her, which took a week to get her to agree to once he'd started applying his imagination to it, without hurtiing anybody, in an amicable way.
I suppose that whatever works for a person is the best method for them to use, but I don't think it has to be as involved and complicated as some people seem to think. In his book, The Law and The Promise, there are a number of letters written to him by people who used his teachings of imagination creates reality to achieve their goals, and there was a woman who had actually talked to Neville about this and did what he told her to do. She met a man on a blind date and knew he was the one she wanted to marry. A couple of days later, she moved away and that same week the friend who had introduced them also moved away, and the lady didn't even know if the man knew her name. All she did, before she went to sleep at night, was to imagine a wedding ring on her finger, imagine twisting the ring on her finger, imagine being in her own bed in the home that she and that man, her husband in her imagination, were living in rather than where she was living at the time, sharing with some other women, and she kept saying to herself at the same time, 'This is wonderful. I really am Mrs _____.' After a month, he 'found' her, they started dating, got engaged and got married, all within a matter of months, and they were both happier than they'd ever been before.  Even after they started dating, she wasn't sure how he felt about her, and she continued on with her imaginings as before.
Without realising what I was doing, because this was a long time ago, I created my marriage with my first (and only one so far) husband, but I left out something critical, which was that it was a happy marriage where we did things together and had fun. I left out all of the details of the way I would have wanted it to be, just thinking that everything would fall into place the way I wanted it to, but I was WRONG. I would call it a non-marriage. After we got married, he continued on in his single lifestyle, and I don't mean cheated on me, he was pretty much a loner, and he had, and still has, an increasingly more serious TV addiction and music cd addiction, and that was all that ever mattered to him. I was like a piece of furniture to him, really. That's why the book Manifesting Love by Elizabeth Daniels is so valuable to me. She talks about thinking about exactly how you want things to be in your ideal relationship, and she manifested the man of her choice. In her book, she tells exactly how she did it. I don't ever want my ex-husband back or to ever live like that with anybody again.  I wasted far too much of my life on him. My specific person is somebody else.
 

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

Wow! Thanks, Cynthia!

I'm sure Neville's imagining and visualizations were not as complicated as I am making mine out to be. I think my over-analyzing is what is causing the discomfort with the whole process. I had a conversation today with a friend who practices LOA for a lot in her life and has had a ton of success. She told me she would just imagine a whole lot. During the day ,at different times each day. She told me she seems like a bit of a kook because she lives in a la-la world basically. So I think I need to just get into a routine that works for me.

I started the 25 day challenge (I just finished day 2). I like how the challenge gives me gives specific scenarios for us to carry out in visualizations. This also helps me control my thoughts. I'm both excited and hopeful that this challenge allows me to keep my vibration up & feel good.

Any more suggestions/tips for me about this journey/process?? Thank you again for all of your help. You're a gem

 
It sounds like you're doing everything right. I think you're trying to be too perfectionistic, and you don't need to be. I'm trying to get over perfectionism myself. I've been thinking about doing the 25 day challenge myself.  I started it a couple of times but didn't get beyond about day 3.

To try to keep myself thinking the right way, I listen to Neville Goddard most days, sometimes everyday, have listened to a fellow Brit read some of his books a lot as well, and I've also watched Veronica's videos a lot, especially because I like her positivity. I also printed out the posts I could find here by jensherratt about getting her man back and read them when I need a boost because they've really helped me. This hasn't been easy for me because I had a hugely negative upbringing that continued on far beyond my upbringing that I have been trying to overcome for most of my life. I have also got self help cds and dvds that I find helpful, hypnosis or altered state programming, by different people on different subjects  - Glenn Harrold and Dick Sutphen are my favourites, I've got others as well, but I've been using some cds for the last few days by a psychologist from New York that he calls Hypno-Peripheral Processing which is  unusual where he tells two different stories at the same time, in different ears, with messages that are combined between the two different stories.  The messages are supposed to bypass conscious mind resistance.

Last edited by Cynthia (9/17/2017 11:59 am)

whitebutterflies11 wrote:

You "hit the nail on the head," Cynthia!! I am a perfectionist in all aspects of my life. And it is exhausting!! Anyway, I think that's what's messing me up. Is I am always so used to immediate results, or at least some visible progress. For example, I have recently lost about 33 pounds. The first week I lost 2-3 pounds, and I was losing a pound a week. I knew I wasn't going to lose all my weight at one time, but seeing the scale move little by little was not only positive, it also assisted me with moving forward. I had visible results so it gave me the motivation to stay upbeat and continue my journey. With my POI, I worry about my visualizations, vibrations, intention, etc because I have not seen tangible results in the physical realm.

I am on day 3 of the challenge and I had a little difficulty today. I posted a picture of my brother and I at a family gathering last night on social media and my POI didn't like it. Now, I know, a lot of people on this forum are blocked, so please forgive me, I don't mean to come off as being ungrateful. I just worry now why he didn't like last night's picture. My mind is a mess today.

I am very interested about the last part of your last post regarding the Hypno-Peripheral Processing. Is that something you must purchase or is available on youtube or something?? THANKS!

I know how exhausting perfectionism is from personal experience. It was something that was so deeply engrained in me from childhood and continuously reinforced that it has been difficult to overcome, but I have improved a lot. It's taken time, though. Sometimes I have deliberately made a small, unimportant mistake just to not have to be perfect all the time.

Congratulations on your weight loss.  That's something I need to do as well.  I agree with you about having tangible results. It can be motivating enough to keep you going.

I haven't heard from my POI since December, and I've been actively trying to attract him back since April using a variety of things, but so far nothing has happened, at least not that I'm aware of in the material world.  It's been very discouraging, especially having read some claims by people of instant results and wondering where my instant results are, and there have been times when I have felt like giving up and have come very close to it, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do that because we are so right for each other in so many ways, and I still love him.  At those times I usually listen to Neville or Veronica or something positive like my self help recordings or maybe just try not to think about anything at all and do something I enjoy doing.  He's not an ex, he's more like an almost was, a going to be, given a matter of time.  I don't do social media, and as far as I know he doesn't do it either, so I never have that temptation of looking nor have to worry about being blocked and getting unblocked and all of that palaver.  I wouldn't worry about whether your POI liked that photo or not. Who cares? What difference does it make?  Put it into perspective. It's only a photo. Don't worry about it.

I bought those Hypno Peripheral Processing cds direct from the psychologist's website, probably about a couple of years ago, maybe even three, but until recently I didn't have a cd player I could easily play them on because you're supposed to use headphones, and I tried to put them into an mp3 player, but I was having trouble with the mp3 player, so after a while I gave up trying to listen to them until I could get something suitable to play them on.  I prefer cds to mp3s, but I'm pretty sure he's got a choice. I don't know if he's got anything on youtube. I've never looked because I've got his cds already.  Here is a link to his website. There's a video of him on there, on his home page, where he talks about it.  It is unusual. I haven't ever found anything like it. I think it's patented by him.
http://www.hppcds.com/