I could be wrong.  But I feel like you're afraid to fully let go.   Which if you honk about it, is crazy. Because things certainly aren't perfect now

I've been there.      It's like you want them to stay as your happiness because if you fully let go, you might worry that. 1. They won't cone back. Or 2.  They'll come back but you won't want them anymore

YesIWILL wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

I could be wrong. But I feel like you're afraid to fully let go. Which if you honk about it, is crazy. Because things certainly aren't perfect now

I've been there. It's like you want them to stay as your happiness because if you fully let go, you might worry that. 1. They won't cone back. Or 2. They'll come back but you won't want them anymore

I appreciate it man I always do, thank you. Thing is, I've tried to let go before. I've tried dating others... It just feels wrong and It's not that I was intentionally holding myself back from letting go, it's that I literally 'couldn't'. 

Thanks though man

No problem man

And ugh. That really sucks, the sad thing is.  I don't think anyone has the answers.     I feel like we've all had times, when it took us awhile to get over someone


For you, this seems like your "long term" one of not being able to get over

This is great advice.

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

I really wish you didn't allow her to be the determiner of whether you are happy or not. 

Me too. I mean, I can be happy without her... but not "full" without her, if that makes sense. There are days I feel AMAZING, in fact, most days I do. I have GREAT days... but it doesn't feel "right" or "complete" without her there. It gives me like a somewhat empty feeling of incompleteness. It's just not something I can help. I'm missing her. Oh well, though. Thanks for the support, PF. You're always so kind

This about being full - it's not true. I thought the same about someone once and it passed but only when I made the decision he was not going to influence my life anymore. It took time but I had to make that decision and stick to it. I had to accept he didn't want to be with me. I don't want to be with him now and I would still be happy to be friends but now there are others in my life I value and prefer above him. A lot of wanting that guy stemmed from the fact I wanted not to be a failure and not succeeding with him, in my mind, made me one. That isn't true. He lives 300 miles away from me now and if we reconnected maybe that would be good maybe, who knows. But I was like you.

You've two choices. Carry on in this way and be like this for the foreseeable future, wrecking your life - you only have one! - over this person, and stagnate or get worse. It won't get better.

Or accept you're not with her but your life is worth more than restricting yourself to her and change it. Look at yourself, how you react in relationships and with others. I did. It was all about my childhood with me and one particular guy when I was 18 treating me badly. Do the inner work.

You don't know what the future may hold for you. You don't have to go out on dates if you don't want to. Not until you're ready and not using it as a sticky plaster.

I've been struggling with the urge to contact. Nothing intense, but I do miss him. I miss waking up to "good morning doll" texts and just having someone to make me laugh. 

I did have an energy healing yesterday and she tuned into him. She said the RS is working (I do very subtle where we normally don't talk and I just kiss and touch his face) and is affecting his moods. The only thing she said that's keeping him from contacting me is that he is one of those people who doesn't forgive. So now I need to work on that. Any ideas on what I should be visualizing to get him past that?

Gratitude21 wrote:

80saeaak wrote:

I've been struggling with the urge to contact. Nothing intense, but I do miss him. I miss waking up to "good morning doll" texts and just having someone to make me laugh. 

I did have an energy healing yesterday and she tuned into him. She said the RS is working (I do very subtle where we normally don't talk and I just kiss and touch his face) and is affecting his moods. The only thing she said that's keeping him from contacting me is that he is one of those people who doesn't forgive. So now I need to work on that. Any ideas on what I should be visualizing to get him past that?

Hi, somebody in this trail itself has suggested writing letters to your POI but keeping them to yourself.
Here is the link -

http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=7111

I've started this two days back. It does make you feel light and probably might help in your situation too.
All the best!

So funny! I saw that post the other ther day, did a letter, and totally forgot about it. The next time I get the urge I'll do that. Thanks!!!