I'm a bit baffled by the story and struggling to follow it. Let me try and paraphrase. You started seeing Guy 2 to make Guy 1 jealous (like you said not a good plan but I did the same once, went out with a guy because his friend had chucked me and I thought it was a way to be closer to him. I though found I had more fun with the second guy!) Guy 2 told you he loves you but was OK that you didn't love him back. Now he has met someone else and he is telling everyone that you were using him to make Guy 1 jealous. You want Guy 2 to still be your friend. (How old are you all if you don't mind me asking?)  Now he is saying, following you texting him, that you will have to tell him why you want to be his friend? Have you worked out yourself why you want to be friends with him? 

I think the moral of the story is don't tell all and sundry everything, you are asking why it went wrong, and that is my guess. I think you've been way oversharing with people. I wouldn't be discussing it all with lots of different friends, Chinese whispers and all that. 

When I did something similar (to be fair, I was only just 18 and didn't know any better), the second guy was really annoyed with me because I would talk about the first one. He felt like second fiddle, and I guess the bloke you are talking about felt the same, regardless of what he said about being OK with it. Maybe he was just saying that to be closer to you!

 

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (8/30/2017 11:49 am)

I wouldn't do anything. Just go out, socialise, leave them to it, and it will die down in the end. Don't fuel it. 

Lifesagas wrote:

I think you didn't mean to but you acted in the wrong way.

You knew this guy liked you and you know you used him and even though he 'knew' that too - how many people do we know that would maybe think that was an opportunity for them to show you how great they are and hope you'd see them in a different light? A lot I think.

And when someone you really, really like contacts you to say they are thankful for X, Y or Z you did or about the person they are, there will always be a part of them that thinks 'but they're reaching out and they don't have to so they might just like me the same way?'. We've all done it and you've done it too, reading lots of meaning into what the guy you want has said or not said or how he acted even on occasions he's been there with his girlfriend.

So I know it wasn't your intention but I think this gave this guy a glimmer of hope and then there wasn't any. You've hurt him without meaning to.

Try not to stress about it. You meant one thing and it didn't come across how you intended. You're not the first and won't be the last!

Thanks I just want to see a positive outcome with my guy keep my friends so I want this to keep between he and I. Im on day 6 still have doubts about loa . I'm too impatient

Lifesagas wrote:

how many people do we know that would maybe think that was an opportunity for them to show you how great they are and hope you'd see them in a different light? A lot I think.

So I know it wasn't your intention but I think this gave this guy a glimmer of hope and then there wasn't any. You've hurt him without meaning to.  Try not to stress about it. You meant one thing and it didn't come across how you intended. You're not the first and won't be the last !  

I think this too.