If I had been broken up with someone for two years I wouldn't consider that I could still be in love with that person, because everyone changes in that time and life is different, reactions are different, etc. You may not be in love with her if you and she started again. You'd have to get to know her again. It seems to be in love with how she was 2 years ago.

Just my take on it, I may be wrong. 

And what I learned about limerance or similar states is that if you step back - completely step back. No contact, no social media stalking, no thinking about them at all - rejecting every thought of them that comes into your head rather than constantly thinking or day dreaming or using whatever 'techniques' people want to use.

If you withdraw your energy completely, after a few weeks (or less in my experience) I came out of this kind of fog and thought, what the hell? This person has done this to hurt me or made me feel bad or is just not really that into me. And maybe I'm not that bothered about them? They do x, y or z that I don't like. If this person was currently chasing me would I REALLY be that interested? Or is it just that I got caught up in the unrequited emotions and the pain of rejection? And the whole..but I soooo desperately need them. Sadly, even though it only took a few weeks of stepping back, I'd spent months being miserable before I let go.

In my early 20s I got really obsessed with a couple of people, thought they were my soulmate etc and looking back, I think WTF? You were obsessed with him? Lol

As I progressed in my own self-love and awareness I realised that I had a real fear of genuine emotional intimacy. I feared being loved and didn't know what I would do with it. I tossed aside great men who would really value and care for me as 'too nice' or 'boring' and went for guys that I knew were players or emotionally unavailable or just plain abusive or just did not want me!.

Because that's what I was comfortable with, I thought love meant pain and longing and being treated badly and still coming back for more because that's 'real' love. Nah!

There's no real profound risk in unrequited love or obsession. You get to feel all the feelings of 'love' without actually having to put your trust in someone, let someone see the real you, be vulnerable...

It hurts but it's equisite pain in a lot of ways. You get to avoid facing your problems in relationships by never putting it to the test. Telling yourself you couldn't possibly 'love' anyone else so you won't even try. And it all seems so romantic.. your heart 'belongs' to someone so you block anyone else that could really be good for you and make you happy. Because you're scared and don't really think you deserve it.

That's an epic post but thinking about how I was makes me so grateful for who I am now.

YesIWILL wrote:

I want to be with her...

Why? (a deeper answer than "I love her" please) - I'm a teacher and push my students to really dig deep for answers .............

Thank you guys. I just hope I can manifest her back- I know the thought about "can I manifest an ex back?" and "I can't manifest an ex back" are kind of divided right now. So I'm just trying my beats to stay in faith that I CAN manifest her back, despite any doubts

I've got plenty of experience with being a hot mess and feeling like I needed a certain person in my life. My last official boyfriend left me 2 years ago and of course, he was the love of my life, the air that I breathed, the reason I would wake up in the morning and all that fun stuff.  I did all the usual self-destructive behaviours associated with breakups. I stalked, bombarded his phone, hated the girl he cheated and moved on with, I absolutely dragged her verbally, not proud of that one. 

I blocked him for an entire year on any platform I could reach him on, I gave my friend my Facebook password and that was closed so I couldn't check up on them. A year later after I'd calmed down and got over the need to cling to him I messaged him and apologised. He understood where I was coming from and we agreed to be civil. 
Once I'd moved past it, that relationship eventually ended and guess who he started hitting up wanting to rekindle? Me. He told me everything I wanted to hear but at this point, I realised that as important he was to me once I owed myself the chances and opportunity to grow  and be the best version of me, for me.