But you told us some weeks ago that you'd accepted it was over and you were going to move on?

YesIWILL wrote:

I find this

https://www.reddit.com/r/lawofattraction/comments/6sk3as/ummm_wtffff_just_happenedd/

I know I shouldn't look and take these to heart, but from this persons point of view they put in the work and believed. So why didn't things go their way?

Then the comments also added to the disheartening. I'm slowly beginning to lose faith that I can attract my girl back.

There is some good stuff in that thread. Someone clearly points out why it didn't happen, that they were being desperate and wanting someone to make them feel better rather than a symbiotic relationship.

It all comes down to oneself and being content and grounded with the life you're living and you give the opposite impression.

It's all about us.

I read each word.  What I saw was signs of addiction(to the guy) and lack of self care.

I LOVE that you mentioned limerance - so many people don't know about it.

It's definitely a state I've been in in the past. It's a powerful thing but it isn't love.

I think there are times when you just have to pack it in and drop thoughts of that person, if it is damaging you, making you ill, getting you spending all your time searching out techniques to "get" them (I hate that word, it's as if you are acquiring a possession) and stopping you getting on with a vibrant life. I did it myself at 18/19, though not techniques etc as I'd no clue about LOA then, but I did waste my time mooning about someone who didn't want me. He did muck me about, to be fair, but I behaved like a child having a tantrum. 

By dropping it and finding things to do for yourself that zhuzhes up your own life, mixing with people (not in a romantic sense), trying new things, doing what you love and what makes you zing, focusing on your successes - I could go on - you can change yourself and be a much healthier person for the next, or the previous, partner. Nobody is going to want a hot mess (unless, of course, they are one themselves, in which case you should exit stage left asap) as all the same issues will still be there. Change should be within and it should be long lasting and it will sometimes involve digging deep, looking at why you have what everyone calls "limiting beliefs". In my own case, I always thought I wasn't entitled to what others were, probably because as a kid we weren't allowed things like a bike, school trips, things that are taken for granted now. 

That person may well return to a new relationship with the individual, once everyone has changed. But I have said this so many times. 

It has to be about you, it has to be about being a healthy person emotionally and looking for the good, the golden nuggets, and consistently, not just once in a blue moon, thinking you've seen a sign and then getting down when zilch happens. 

But I am banging the same old drum, I know. 

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (8/16/2017 2:49 pm)