Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum » Need your oppinion

Lj · 7/26/2017 10:18 am

So, I could use a bit of help here.

In about 1,5 weeks time I'm invited to the same birthday party as the girl I dated 5 weeks ago, and who I want to re-attract.
We had a great time when we dated, but 5 weeks ago she said she had to put us aside until at least august, when she's done moving and begun her new study.

I haven't heard from her since then, beside the 4 times I've written to her.
She has always answerd neutral and not showing any sign of interrest, and She stopped liking and commenting on my FB and IG posts.

Now, we are both invited to the same party, and for the last 2 weeks I've been going back and forth on attending this birthday party.
One day I tell myself to go. The next, not to go.

Today I asked the universe for a clear cut answer if I should go or not.
No bullshit- just give it to me straight.
And then I actually forgot all about it.

So Today I sat and talked to a collegue of mine and we came in on the subject of girls and stuff.
We got to talk about this birthday party, and that I was in doubt about going.
And then he said, "of course you Should go. Be the bigger man. Act cool and say hello. If she doesn't want to talk to you, you just go talk to somebody else. But you have to act like a man and not show that this bothers you".

Now, my thought is, we could have talked about this even if I didn't ask for an answer from the universe.
But I did. And it was a clear cut, no bullshit answer he gave me.
Maybe the universe lined this conversation up, because I asked for an answer?
What do you think About this?
And do you think I Should or shouldn't go to the party?

Avaelle · 7/26/2017 10:54 am

I think it shouldn't be about the girl but the person that sent you the invite. I imagine that you were invited because they enjoy your company and would love to have you as a part of their special day. My decision would be based on that.

Also, I think your girl's replies and lack of initiation are because she said to wait until August. As you can see, it's not August yet but you seem to still have expectations. At times, we can make things more complicated than they need to be and have them backfire. The last thing you want is to agitate her and have her sense desperation and push her away.

Last edited by Avaelle (7/26/2017 10:54 am)

PrettyFlamingo · 7/26/2017 11:16 am

Avaelle wrote:
I think it shouldn't be about the girl but the person that sent you the invite. I imagine that you were invited because they enjoy your company and would love to have you as a part of their special day. My decision would be based on that.

This is great advice.

Lj · 7/27/2017 1:00 am

Thanks for the advice.
I think I have desided to go, and just have fun.
If it turns out not to be fun, or I feel like crap seeing her and get no attention from her, I can always leave pretending I have stuff to do.

It's pretty annoying that a person you only known for 2,5 months, han make such an impact on your life 😐

Lifesagas · 7/27/2017 1:31 am

Have a think about what it is in you that is creating that level of feeling; what is it that makes you feel attached or dependent or wanting or whatever the feeling that you identify is - so quickly?

Because as you've said so insightfully on other posts, you got intense really, really quickly and that may well in part be why she stepped back from you. If you know what it is in you, you change you and then everything around you changes.

I hope you have a good time at the party.

PrettyFlamingo · 7/27/2017 1:46 am

Lj wrote:
Thanks for the advice.
I think I have desided to go, and just have fun.
If it turns out not to be fun, or I feel like crap seeing her and get no attention from her, I can always leave pretending I have stuff to do.

It's pretty annoying that a person you only known for 2,5 months, han make such an impact on your life 😐

I don't think it was even that long was it? You weren't in a relationship with her for two and a half months? Wasn't it a week or so and then contact through messaging or something?

I keep dragging up an old thread of mine about someone I interacted with for a sum total of nine hours. I allowed him to dominate my life for a year. I'll drag it out again!

This party is NOT about her. Go for your mate. If you see her say hello. Move on and have a good night with your friends. Don't pay attention to her. Approach her again later, ask how she's getting on. If you don't get the sort of attention you want ask her to clarify where you stand. Then leave it if it's not what you want to hear and focus on your life.

That's what I would do and what I wish I'd done when I was 18. Turned out the guy was wrong for me anyway.

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (7/27/2017 4:22 am)

PrettyFlamingo · 7/27/2017 4:21 am

I am copying below a post I made at the end of March. It has similarities. I didn't use the LOA of course, I had not heard of it then, but there are similarities in attaching so much to someone you don't know from Adam.

I listen to the radio a lot at work and a song just came on that reminded me of a situation when I was 18. I met a guy one night when out with my friend. He was with two of his mates and we chatted to them for three consecutive Saturdays and then on the third Saturday he drove me home and we kissed, he then went to work away for two weeks promising to get together when he returned, and when he came back he ignored me. When I challenged him he just said “I’ve changed my mind”. I spent a year mooning, crying, trying to get him “back”. Nothing happened, in fact he got someone else pregnant and married her when he was only 19. (they later ended up divorced) Over a year later I just made the decision “you know what, this is just enough” and decided to let it go. None of this was Law of Attraction related, as I’d never heard of it then. Then he told me one night (after I’d pestered him by writing to him and getting my cousin to talk to him for me) that he would go out with me again, and he didn’t, and said he had only said it to get rid of me. I didn’t understand it, because I’m far from being a minger, and he didn’t really know me well enough to make an informed decision about my personality or character enough to reject me. And I knew zero about him too, and probably would have found him not really what I wanted. (but my reasoning at the time was to be allowed to make that choice for myself – just to go out with him and if it didn’t work, then it didn’t).

I spent a sum total of 9 hours (and that is being generous) just chatting to this bloke, including about two hours snogging him. And just based on that I convinced myself I was in love with him, he was the one for me etc based on that, which really, is nothing is it?. I had daydreams about us being together, being married and so on and projecting it into the future (would you call that visualising, pussy whipping, or what? I wrote stuff about him in my journal day in, day out. It affected the quality of my life, because I hadn’t got him. I didn’t do it from a LOA point of view as I’d never heard of it). But it took up a whole year of my life. I was into reading romantic sagas back then and I probably liked the drama of the whole thing – I identified with the star-crossed lovers in the book. I even started seeing one of his friends just so I could be around him when we went out (I had more fun with the friend, but we were really only friends)

The trouble with this is that this rejection or whatever you wish to call it affected me for years and years – I expected to get chucked by every guy I went out with, or not to be able to get together with someone I fancied because I wouldn’t be good enough for them.

How on earth did one person who I knew for nine hours manage to cause that much upset in my life – or more to the point, how did I allow him to because I’m sure he never intended it, he never really thought much about me.

Hearing this song was a wake up call. I did all that damage to myself because of distorted thinking and not realising my own worth. I felt that I disrespected myself by all the chasing, mooning and crying. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Also read the link below - it is aimed at women, but applies equally to guys I think.

http://selfloveempowers.com/2017/05/26/how-to-be-a-high-value-woman/

PrettyFlamingo · 7/27/2017 4:25 am

One really important message I took from the link I provided is:

If a guy fades out or disappears on you it has nothing to do with your value. Your value does not diminish because of someone's inability to see it; it diminishes because of your own inability to see it.

How I wish I had known that at 18. We have to respect ourselves when relating to others. I would love to have that time back again so I could manage it better.

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (7/27/2017 4:32 am)

Lj · 7/27/2017 5:59 am

Thx for the link. That blog makes you Think. Why on earth would I let a single person control my life like that?
There are litterally thousands of possible partners out there.

Lifesagas · 7/27/2017 10:44 am

Absolutely! I think sometimes when people are aware of LOA they just forget about basic Psychology and dating 'rules' like just be cool! and if they're not that keen, find someone who is.

Get to know someone, feeling a connection with someone doesn't have to mean they're 'the one' or a twin flame or whatever (I made this mistake for years, a bit like Flamingo said). Don't go too deep too soon. If they're not interested, okay! Yeah you could use LOA to 'get them' if you want but only do it if you set an intention, let it go and forget about it.

If you're taking a lot of time and effort and headspace and 'techniques' about someone you hardly know, think about why? Is it really about them? Or is about you and some need you want them to fulfil?

There are millions of people out there and you can meet someone where it'll be easy and straightforward and you don't have to 'work' at it.

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7/26/2017 10:18 am #1

Need your oppinion

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7/26/2017 11:16 am #3

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Avaelle wrote:

7/27/2017 1:00 am #4

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7/27/2017 1:31 am #5

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7/27/2017 1:46 am #6

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Lj wrote:

7/27/2017 4:21 am #7

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7/27/2017 4:25 am #8

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7/27/2017 5:59 am #9

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7/27/2017 10:44 am #10

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