1 - Ziestyles
- Helper
Offline - Registered: 8/26/2016
- Posts: 35
Intoxicated
Hi,
I have been using LOA past 1 year to attarct my ex back. I didn't attract him back yet but while I was attracting him back, I started seeing a guy who is mutuals with my ex.
I was really happy with him. Until the relationship between us has become toxic.
He has been abusing me a lot and he has even hit me. I really do have feelings for him but he doesn't trust me. Whenever we meet he just makes me cry and abuses me and leaves me crying on the road. He says I am too bossy and I don't love him. He wants me to change and he wants me to do everything as he says.He always compares everything to me and my ex. Its been almost 9 months since I am with him but yet he doesn't trust me at all. He won't let me go out with my friends. He won't let me go anywhere.
He says all problems in hi life are because of me. He even made me cut off with my best friends.
I am so stuck and anxious. I really can't think straight.
I have tried every possible technique on him but I don't know I am not even able to get into the meditative state. I can't sleep or concentrate on anything.
And he literally just talks about my ex and me. And I am so f**cked in my head that I feel the universe is giving me signs to leave him and my ex is the one for me.
I have no clue what is happening,
I even have a lot of family issues going on. I feel I'll need a therapist. I have been so disconnected.
I am not even able to work.
I have become so negative.
I affirm myself every morning. I am grateful but everything is going wrong and I am losing myself.
Today morning I woke up at 6 just to see him and I am not an early riser.
He fought with me because I just said stop annoying me. Then I started to sort everything and we were fine. But we had a discussion and it wasn't even about us, it was about something random and I just told him chuck it. He just left me on the road and went.
This happens everytime I meet him.
He had given me few gifts. And he threw them all in the bin when we had a huge argument.
And all our arguments have one thing in common which is 'lets break-up'
I dont know why he never wants to sort and everything turns into a fight.
He expects me to be behind him like a puppy.
He doesn't even let me work.
Please help.
I really really like him when he is good to me. I like him a lot.
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
Offline
- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: Intoxicated
END IT. End of. You should NEVER stay with an abuser.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- YesIWILL
- Expert
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- Registered: 10/23/2016
- Posts: 707
Re: Intoxicated
Sounds toxic. If you really like him, try talking to him about how you're feeling. He seems insecure and it could be coming from a place of not feeling good enough. If he's a good guy hell listen- let him know exactly how you're feeling.
I used to compare my ex to my previous ex out loud to her, subconsciously. That might be what he's doing... I don't know the guy. But either way, he's being a super toxic person and leaving you on the road is HORRIBLE. I know how all of this feels. Sounds just like my story.
Give him an ultimatum. To be better and to stop doing the things you find hurtful or don't like. After all, you can't be with someone you don't like, even if you do love them.
I'd say talk to him, tell him EXACTLY why you're hurting with him (no sugar coating to make him feel better)!!!! and give him that ultimatum.
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
Offline
- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: Intoxicated
Ziestyles wrote:
He doesn't even let me work.
Please help.
Can you explain the above?
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- Ziestyles
- Helper
Offline
- Registered: 8/26/2016
- Posts: 35
Re: Intoxicated
*UPDATE*
He called me last night apologising.
Told him it isn't okay and I don't want to be with him.
He first got very pissed but cried later which made me accept his apology and give him a chance.
I am planning to apply Lanie's technique on him to improve him.
- •
Thread Starter- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
Offline
- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: Intoxicated
*UPDATE*
He called me last night apologising.
Told him it isn't okay and I don't want to be with him.
He first got very pissed but cried later which made me accept his apology and give him a chance.
I am planning to apply Lanie's technique on him to improve him.
You can accept the apology but do you really want to be with a bully? He has serious problems that he needs to sort out.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- unicornsandrainbows
- Helper
Offline
- Registered: 1/30/2017
- Posts: 41
Re: Intoxicated
*UPDATE*
He called me last night apologising.
Told him it isn't okay and I don't want to be with him.
He first got very pissed but cried later which made me accept his apology and give him a chance.
I am planning to apply Lanie's technique on him to improve him.
You will keep going back into the same abusive relationship over and over again, until you change your core beliefs about your own worthiness. Guaranteed. Visualizing a change in him will do *nothing* until you are whole and complete in yourself, which means giving yourself the kind of love you want to get from him. I speak from experience.
He first got very pissed but cried later
This is a classic tactic to play on your vulnerabilities, something a 2-year-old does when you take away his toy that he really didn't want to play with anyway. This man does not respect you.
- YesIWILL
- Expert
Offline
- Registered: 10/23/2016
- Posts: 707
Re: Intoxicated
*UPDATE*
He called me last night apologising.
Told him it isn't okay and I don't want to be with him.
He first got very pissed but cried later which made me accept his apology and give him a chance.
I am planning to apply Lanie's technique on him to improve him.You will keep going back into the same abusive relationship over and over again, until you change your core beliefs about your own worthiness. Guaranteed. Visualizing a change in him will do *nothing* until you are whole and complete in yourself, which means giving yourself the kind of love you want to get from him. I speak from experience.
He first got very pissed but cried later
This is a classic tactic to play on your vulnerabilities, something a 2-year-old does when you take away his toy that he really didn't want to play with anyway. This man does not respect you.
He has his issues, but it's clearly not a 'play on her vulnerabilities'. The guy's hurt. So he cries. He's pissed because he has what seems to be anger issues or something. But he's not 'gaming' her or anything.
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
Offline
- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: Intoxicated
This guy has assaulted the OP and has said she can't work, amongst other things. This is more than him being hurt. It's dangerous.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- piper
- Helper
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- Registered: 11/01/2016
- Posts: 27
Re: Intoxicated
Can I just say, that coming from someone who was in a very abusive relationship, that you NEED to break it off immediately! He's already hit you, and he will do it again. It usually progressively gets worse over time, so get rid of him now.
It took me 4 years to get out of mine, and I still have to work on the issues it caused me. Thankfully, he didn't kill me, but he tried.
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com