Hi everyone

My name is shay. I'm new to this forum but I am so happy I found a community of like minded people. I feel as though I manifested finding this site. I've been lurking for a week now and I decided to join today. So I'll keep my story short. I would really like some advice. I manifested my love (ex)from the very beginning. I knew he was the one. Haha I know (gags) 😂 We met 6 years ago and went on a few dates.we officially started dating a year and a half ago. We were on and off in the beginning for many reasons. I would say the first breakup, made me certain he was the one. I know that sounds weird but that breakup was a blessing because it gave me time to amend my desires and fill my vortex with a better relationship. Forgot to say we got back together in September of 2016.So I took time for myself raised my vibration and manifested him back. I failed to mention though It felt amazing to have him back I had a lot of resentment and hurt that I was holding on too from my past with him. My negative thoughts from my subconscious slowly came out with every fight and triggered emotion. Long story short. I had an overwhelming feeling in February of this year that my negative thoughts were creating my problem with him. I knew we had to start over because my negative momentum was bound to end it and it did. I wanted to fall in love with him again. But instead of taking a break I pushed everything more and more. As of April things were so bad I had to end it with him. I regretted shortly after but he didn't want to get back together because it was too stressful for him. I'm all fairness it was. Because of negative feelings that were subconscious at the time, I became controlling. I guess that sums it up I wish I could elaborate but it's far too long. We aren't together. It's been almost a month now. And I want him back. My question is it possible if I already manifested him n lost him. He's still upset with me and ignoring me. I knew deep down I needed to end it . This was because of all the contrast in my relationship with him, I felt like I needed to line up with the vortex relationship I created for us through contrast.

There are some days were it feels amazing to want him and I am convinced he will be back. And others (like today) where it feels insulting to my own intelligence to want to be with him if he doesn't want me.

I get scared because I don't know how and when it will happen. It also makes me anxious that it won't. And the anxious part of me what's to take action n get him back.

I hope this made sense😅 but Any feedback is welcomed. Thank you for reading this all the way through if you did. I just love it on the forum because my vibration seems to be raising hearing all your stories.