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4/26/2017 1:24 pm  #11


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

Hey guys,
I attracted him back by really focusing on myself and making peace with it.

Yesterday he told me that he misses me and that he wants me back and that he loves me

Today he updaded his WhatsApp profile pic...
A pic where he stands with a half naked ***** at a night club.
Yep. A real *****, he visits sex bars or rather bars where you can pay bitches to talk to you. That kind of thing. I dont want to insult anyone of you who may have that profession but I hope you get my point.
i was really angry and confronted him and insulted him even.
He couldnt really understand my angriness.
I mean please? No girl would want a bf who takes photos with bitches. Dont even know what the hell he was thinking.

I really like him but yeah I dont know How I attracted that **** with that pic and how to fix it:/


She believed she could, so she did.
 

4/26/2017 1:46 pm  #12


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

I'm going to share a thought that I recently had and posted on Lanie's board.  Here it is:

"It seems like at least some of the relationship stress that we have is self generated.  We've created the ideals of timing and what is "enough".  Things tend to go like this "He was short on the phone today,  I'm sad."  "He hasn't replied to my texts,  It must be over" .  "I haven't seen him in a few days,  he must have someone else."  and so on. Once we have those lingering thoughts,  it embeds and we have that negative energy.   But, when you think about it - these beliefs have been fairly recently introduced to the dating world.  

If we step back and look at things from a wider perspective,  some of the longest marriages and relationships(such as grandparents and aunts) - maintained the majority of their duration without having cellphones. When my grandfather would leave to work, my grandmother would not speak to him until he returned home that evening. There weren't any good morning texts etc. How did we get to a point where things like texts, calls etc define relationships?

With social media, it's like walking into a room and knowing what everyone is talking about and even where they are.  That stuff isn't natural and has created an unnecessary layer to dating if you ask me.  How can we get rid of these ideals?  It's worth a thought because some of us drive ourselves nuts"


I'm with him,  I don't understand your anger either.  From what I gather - you aren't in an exclusive relationship with him and for the time being he would be free to do whatever he wants.  I'll be blunt,  your reaction was extreme and repealing. I never think it is a good idea to get into arguments with these people.
 


The Universe is your playground.
 

4/26/2017 1:48 pm  #13


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

You know this is what puts me right off going out with anyone!  Immature behaviour from guys. 

Really?   It seems like they may have been texting every day.  Maybe he just needed a breather.


The Universe is your playground.
 

4/26/2017 2:02 pm  #14


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

I know I reacted childishly and I am embarrassed about it.
 


She believed she could, so she did.
     Thread Starter
 

4/26/2017 2:12 pm  #15


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

Chalk it up as a learning experience and move differently so that you aren't seen as clingy or too jealous.


The Universe is your playground.
 

4/26/2017 3:33 pm  #16


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

Books like He's Not That Into You have a lot to answer for.


Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
 

4/26/2017 3:36 pm  #17


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Books like He's Not That Into You have a lot to answer for.

Doesn't sound as if it would be compatible with LoA in any way.
 


"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."

Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
 

4/26/2017 4:11 pm  #18


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

Avaelle wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

You know this is what puts me right off going out with anyone!  Immature behaviour from guys. 

Really?   It seems like they may have been texting every day.  Maybe he just needed a breather.

If I was in a sexual relationship with anyone (to me this means commitment - I wouldn't do it otherwise) I would expect reciprocal, back-and-forth contact and not to have to play games by being afraid to phone/text/email whatever and I would expect that person to reply, as I would with them if they contacted me. 

To pick up another point that has been mentioned, not LOA or anything but just an anecdote on the signs of the times and maintaining a relationship without social media, texting or the like. I was talking to someone recently in her late 50s who met her husband in the late 1970s. They lived in cities 90 miles apart and met in a club in the city she lived in on a midweek night. They spoke every day on the phone that week and met up the following weekend. She didn't have a car or a phone in her flat, and so he rang her at work, or she would go to the phonebox and call him or he would ring her at a pre-arranged time, they wrote letters, and met each weekend. They got married within 8 months because they were fed up of the distance and are still together now. How cute and quaint! Would we put that sort of effort into a relationship now with all the media distractions? 


Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
 

4/27/2017 6:18 am  #19


Re: attracted new guy and he "ghosted" me ! what now?

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

You know this is what puts me right off going out with anyone!  Immature behaviour from guys. 

Really?   It seems like they may have been texting every day.  Maybe he just needed a breather.

If I was in a sexual relationship with anyone (to me this means commitment - I wouldn't do it otherwise) I would expect reciprocal, back-and-forth contact and not to have to play games by being afraid to phone/text/email whatever and I would expect that person to reply, as I would with them if they contacted me. 

To pick up another point that has been mentioned, not LOA or anything but just an anecdote on the signs of the times and maintaining a relationship without social media, texting or the like. I was talking to someone recently in her late 50s who met her husband in the late 1970s. They lived in cities 90 miles apart and met in a club in the city she lived in on a midweek night. They spoke every day on the phone that week and met up the following weekend. She didn't have a car or a phone in her flat, and so he rang her at work, or she would go to the phonebox and call him or he would ring her at a pre-arranged time, they wrote letters, and met each weekend. They got married within 8 months because they were fed up of the distance and are still together now. How cute and quaint! Would we put that sort of effort into a relationship now with all the media distractions? 

I understand where you're coming from.

In this situation though, it is possible that only a few hours had passed before this thread was created. I've gotten home before after driving down an interstate and had the "?????" Texts from the person wanting to know why it was taking me so long to answer. I wasn't playing games, I just don't text and drive


The Universe is your playground.
 

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