Hey

I'm new here, and I've spent the last couple days reading posts here. You have all helped me a lot. I had a question and I hope someone can help.

I had a breakup back in February. I contacted her a couple times after, but did no begging or pleading. I just wanted to let her know that even though we said some kind of snippy things (nothing too angry) I still thought highly of her and didn't want that to be what she thought that I felt about her. I wished her luck.

A couple weeks later, she contacted me bc she was getting harassed online. I tried to be supportive, offered to come and see her, do whatever I could to help. She thanked me, but it was clear she was stressed out about that situation. She wanted to talk, and we did, but it didn't go well. She was very stressed and took it out on me a little. I told her I thought we should try and clear the air bc I didn't want this to be how we felt. She agreeed, but was, again, very tense ad upset. She said she would call the next day, but didn't. I didn't really expect her to. I decided to go No Contact the next day. As it was, I hadn't initiated contact for several weeks. But one of the last things she said was that she wanted "minimal contact" with me for the time being, which, again, is exactly what I had been doing.

She wrote the next week and asked if I could help her a little to buy some food. She is a student and I would do that sometimes bc money was tight. She was going on a spring break trip to Japan which was a huge opportunity and I encouraged when we were together, but it was strapping her a little. I told her it was no problem and I hoped that it helped her feel was stress. She wrote back and said she was leaving for the trip the next day, but would text me sometime the next week. It seemed, from what she said and what I knew of her, like she was backing off of the "minimal contact" thing. I told her to have a good time and be safe and I'd talk to her later.

That was three weeks ago tomorrow. I wasn't surprised she didn't text from Japan, but I did think she would once she got back. I've not reached out, as I thought she would want to do that. But as far as I contact, I'm not sure if the fact that she did contact me
Means it would be okay to initiate with her? Next Tuesday would be a month from when I started and I was going to anyway.

I've been following the 25 day plan, and I am seeing some things happen and getting some synchronicity.   Do worry that I'm blocking things because I do get a little discouraged every day that she doesn't write. When I do
My visualization I feel better, but I get doubts that tell me she's moved on and the fact that she hadn't written is proof. I know that there is no set time for things to happen, and sometimes a person can manifest months later. I also know that she did care a lot for me. The breakup didn't seem like that serious of an argument to me and it kind of shocked me, and I believe most of her memories of me are very positive, so hopefully time will only blur the breakup and help those positive things move forward. In the meantime I have been trying to improve and have been seeing other people. But I really love this girl, and I want the chance to see what will happen. I do worry that she is someone who will be stubborn enough to stick by her reaction even if she doesn't want to be broken up and her heart is saying to come back, yet bc she made a decision and feels the need to stand by it. Hence, she avoids me bc that allows her to not have to deal with me until she is over things. That thought just pushes its way past all the positive I'm doing.

So, I guess my question is twofold... should I reach out with something... I was going to send her a link to a couple articles I thought she would like and say I hope she had a great time in Japan and was taking care of herself and that the semester was gokid bc well. I thought this would be a nice way to say hi, and maybe let her know I was open to talking since I think she might think I'm
Mad or feel guilty about the breakup?

And also... any thoughts you have on how to get rid of those thoughts that are plaguing me would be helpful. Logically, it makes sense that she would reach out at some point. But I've also known a few girls who did something like that... make a decision and ignore anything that didn't support that until they buried it. I didn't handle the situation well then as I didn't have the skills to navigate, so hopefully I can handle it better if that is the case, but I'm hoping I'm being irrational and that S amstupid fear, and the fact that she hasn't written isn't a bad thing.

Thanks again. You folks really are wonderful