PrettyFlamingo wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the help!

Today's been a down day, really struggling with this, but trying hard to keep the hope up.

How do you do that? Try hard to keep hope up? What steps etc to make yourself feel better?

Um... Video games, uhh... guitar (it broke though)... um... sleeping? Oh! Affirmations. Looking up LoA videos, articles. (Really the last two are most beneficial to me)... But I can't say any are really all that effective for long... I guess it's really more of trying hard to keep the hope, with trying being the key word.

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

I'm really curious...RR33, what exactly is your LoA "strategy"? How do you apply the things you've learned?

When I negative thought comes in, I try to replace it with LoA-based reasons as to why she IS coming back. VS logical reasons as to why she's not. I try to affirm, "X loves me, X misses me, X is my girlfriend" over and over. It helps only sometimes. Other times, I'm too deep in my worry. Work doesn't really help me out of that worry, either. Uhm... I try writing lists of what I'm grateful for, and really try to feel it. I take time out of my day to do PW. I like to imagine her being literally next to me. While at work, I often hold my left arm out a little more than the right one, and imagine she's holding my left hand. It kinda helps.

Dan2015 wrote:

I don't want to read too much into what you say

But just going over your posts sometimes, I see wayyyy more "today has been a down day". Or "I'm really struggling today". Than. "Today has been a great day". "Things aren't how I want them to be, but I'm still happy"

I mean. I understand it's impossible to be happy 24/7 365 days Even the most positive people have down days.

But. I feel, you should try not posting as much. What would you do if for some reason the internet was shut down for a month and you couldn't get advice ? I feel, you rely way too much on others to pick you up out of your bad moments

The best thing that happened to me. Was when I took a break from the forum and started thinking how I'm gonna pull myself out of this

You need so much more belief. And I could be wrong, but I think most of us are running out of things to say. You have to make a choice.

Either you believe. And you make yourself happy(though you'll still have bad times, I mean we are human) and things just happen naturally.

Or. You don't believe If you don't believe. You have the choice of just giving up. Or you keep going around circles until. You either start understanding or you find a new girl But. Going around these circles is pointless, you may have improved. But you take 2 steps forward and then you take 6 steps back


It's time to pick a side. You either have strong belief. Or you don't. If you pick option 2. You can either. Start seriously working on gaining that belief or you stop wasting your time

If you truly don't believe you can get her back, why are you on here wasting your time? I really hope that you aren't on here a year from now still stuck in the same spot, but unless if you start making changes, that's where you will be

It's sad. You might be confident and love yourself in other aspects of life. You might be happy with other things. But this one thing has stronger meaning to you than all the other things your confident about/love about yourself and enjoy. It basically cancels each other out, cause you place so much value on this

Like, you could end up becoming a millionaire and inventing something that others adore, but if you never got your girl back, I kind of feel like you'd think you're a failure


There's a lot of people like that, they can be GREAT at what they do, but because one thing didn't go right. They aren't happy

I guess for me, most days are just "days" with sprinkles of positivity, or negativity in them. I can't exactly view it otherwise. Right now I'm trying to visualize getting a week off in May (which, coincidentally is heavily improbable because during Memorial day, Lawn and Garden NEEDS the help, and we're understaffed.) - Trying hard to imagine myself going on that vacation that week and visiting my niece for her birthday at the beach. It seems really unlikely, they told me, but I'm trying to weigh the scales via LoA. It's very important to me that I get that time off. My parents chose that week, and they can't reschedule. 

If the internet were down for a month and I couldn't go here, I'd try to cope how I do while I'm not on here, or at work, lol.

And to the comment about me being here if I believe I can't get her back... it's because I know that it's my greatest desire, and I want nothing more than to be with her. And if there's an against-all-odds chance that this can happen, it's what will make me happy, so I'm going to do it. I love her, and I honestly can't imagine a future without her. I really HATE how things have turned out between she and I. I'm just very caught up in how she acted VERY wishy-washy toward the end, as if she were seeing someone else. I guess that's another thing I'm trying to drop. That fear. I know I'm amazing, and truthfully, with how SHE thinks of me, and how she didn't take the time to appreciate how much work and effort I put into making her happy in the relationship... I can't see her comparing herself to the other guy(s) and thinking, "damn, he treated me well. I miss him..." because even in the moment, she really didn't take the time to see what I'd done for her. 


I just need to find a way to stop letting my fears control, and have faith that she'll return. I just haven't found out quite how to do that yet. But I'm trying to learn, hence the research of LoA and via writing down my manifestations. It's just a lot easier said than done, yeah?

Last edited by YesIWILL (4/05/2017 7:26 pm)

You know, you could, for a while, just do NOTHING. I mean, go to work, get on with life as normal, but stop LOA stuff, all the visualising and "work", pussywhipping and so on, give yourself a break from this woman and stop overanalysing and overthinking everything. It won't mean you go backwards or "lose" her but it might make you see things differently for a bit. Just make your lists of gratitude and then get on with life. Take time out - I think I quoted some George Michael lyrics to you a while ago - take it on board.

YesIWILL wrote:

just came across someone with her first name on a thing, super. 

I've noticed overall progress in growth in you.  I hope that you're proud of yourself.  You're getting there.

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

You know, you could, for a while, just do NOTHING. I mean, go to work, get on with life as normal, but stop LOA stuff, all the visualising and "work", pussywhipping and so on, give yourself a break from this woman and stop overanalysing and overthinking everything. It won't mean you go backwards or "lose" her but it might make you see things differently for a bit. Just make your lists of gratitude and then get on with life. Take time out - I think I quoted some George Michael lyrics to you a while ago - take it on board.

I could... my mind and body's kinda stopping me. I guess part of me views it kind of as a race? Like the longer I go without the techniques, and whatnot, the further away she gets?

creator1980 wrote:

You seem like me 2 months ago....progress has been made for me and me alone even in baby steps but i really like that i have people telling me hey dude you look different and better than before, I even got a text from a nice person telling me i radiate positive energy...I dont really know what they mean but i am happy people see something positive in me...And i am not doing much -trust me- I am new to all this and still figuring out but i enjoy now most of days even when i am doing nothing like yesterday and the day before because of a nasty cold.And i am still doing stuff for my love but now i enjoy them more,hell sometimes i even forget to do visualisations or other techniques or fall asleep during them. The most important lesson i have learned from all the forums, books and videos etc is we need to focus on ourself not just on our desire...btw when feeling down i have used some techniques from Tony Robbins book unlimited power.
Its not about loa its about using your own body to stop stressing and stuff. But it also has a lot more in there about success and stuff.I ma not a fan of Robbins but some of the stuff in that book helped me become more confident within 2 weeks.

I hope and wish you get better soon and realise you can make this (other people have done so in lets say far worst situations-even though loa says facts and circumstances shouldnt be taken as something to keep us from our goals- so chin up) and May the Force be WIth you 

Thank you so much for the advice I really, really appreciate it! One things that's helping me, is, my brother said he may drop me off at the guitar center so that I can get a new guitar (my old one broke, I don't have a car, etc.), and it's almost 4pm, and it closes at 6pm, so I'm trying to visualize that happening B) Playing guitar is very VERY therapeutic for me. Thank you so much for the input!!

Avaelle wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

just came across someone with her first name on a thing, super. 

I've noticed overall progress in growth in you.  I hope that you're proud of yourself.  You're getting there.

I'm feeling very proud of myself, thank you! Working a LOT and affording my own (albeit tiny) apartment? That takes work. I know it's such a small step, but I'm super proud of myself for how hard I've been working. Also how hard I've been working to try and get her back! The fact that I'm trying SO hard.... anyone would be lucky to have me. With how much love I give, and how hard I've been trying? I do deserve to get what I want 

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PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

just came across someone with her first name on a thing, super. 

I've noticed overall progress in growth in you.  I hope that you're proud of yourself.  You're getting there.

Yes, its keeping it up that counts. Not sure how but I'm sure others have better ideas!

That's the fun part! I woke up like an hour ago (late sleeper on days off... totally exhausted) and I'm feeling pretty well!
 

I wanted to emphasize that you manifest replies to your concerns beautifully. I'm sure that I'm not the only one that always "feels" inclined to give you thoughtful and most helpful feedback. You leave everyone else in the dust. 

If you could move whatever it is you think and feel about what would happen when you post to your relationship, things could change.  Imagine her "feeling" inclined to reach out to you.

..just a thought.