Oh that thread? I thought it was a different one lol

Dan2015 wrote:

I think all of us(that want an ex or Specific person) wish they'd be in our lives when we woke up.

I'm sure people who have diseases and stuff wish when they woke up they were cured. I'm sure you wish you woke up and your anxiety was gone. And so many other things

Like someone else has said, and I thick it will go a long way in your confidence is. That you have to do these things for you. This is your movie/tv show. You're making her the main character while making yourself the 2nd lead or even a recurring actor

You have to make yourself number 1. It seems like in other aspects of your life. You do that. But for some reason with her. You can't seem to do it. I think it was in the succes story that blue posted. But you have to stop reading so much/asking questions/talking about it. And start applying what you already know

I think instead of visualizing you having her back, you should visualize yourself having the confidence to get her back. Your life is about you. Not her. It seems like you've accomplished. A lot(career. Apartment). But with all of what you accomplished I feel you'd be sad with your life if you never got her back

I'm not saying you aren't, but be grateful for the things you have. I mean, there's people in this world who are homeless. Sick. Starving. Have to deal with bombs being dropped on them 24/7. And so much other bad stuff, I'm sure there's some of us on this forum who have to deal with some of these horrible circumstances(including you with anxiety and depression)

I'm not saying you aren't, but be proud/grateful of what you have and also what you've accomplished so far, this doesn't mean give up. But you REALLY have to get to the point where you don't NEED her in your life, that your life will be great no matter you have her or not, that you'll be happy with or without her.

You can want her, but need is things like. You NEED water. Need food etc The sooner you start believing you can get her back. The better you'll be. I think you feeling you can't get her back is what's causing all of this and it's making you go crazy and doing things you normally wouldn't do.

Also, the sooner you start believing, the sooner you'll actually get her back If I remember correctly, I think you live in America(im not sure what state). But it's almost spring and summer man. Do you really want to spend the best time of the year(besides the holidays). Upset. Sad. Etc?

My homework assignment(haha) for you would be. To REALLY put 100 percent focus on you Work even harder at your career to become the best. Go out. Do things you never done before. Try to think about her less and less. Or if you do think of her just be happy and know she's coming

I think one of your biggest problems is. That you probably still hold resentment,anger,selfishness,etc towards her, you might love her, but I don't think you unconditionally love her. What I mean by this is, being happy for her and loving her no matter what. Say if she gets a new boyfriend. Would you be happy for her? Hell no. And as hard as it sounds, you need to be happy for her.

A lot of this stuff, just keeps resistance.

I'm adding this to my notes. Thank you so much.

I just find it weird (and it gives me some hope!!) that both my gf (that's what I should call her in my head now right?) and the sister are refusing to remove me on facebook. Hell, the sister even said to me over snapchat "OMG you're such a ******* creep!! stay the **** away from my family!!!" - and STILL has me on Snapchat and checks all of my stories. So why would she still be on my friends list? If I were in her shoes, I'd have deleted me RIGHT AWAY. I feel like she's keeping tabs on my for my girl for one reason or another. Maybe my girl still has feelings for me, and she's asking the sister to keep an eye out? IDK.

But the sister and I aren't the closest, so I have no idea why she wouldn't remove me. It looks like a plus to me! Any sane person would remove someone like me, after writing such a message. I've also regretfully posted stories like, "Missing her so much..." and "I can't believe it's been a year... I miss her so much" - in fact that's the majority of what I write on there to get the sister's attention. Yeah I know I shouldn't have done that, but she sees them and I post them OFTEN. Under normal conditions she would've deleted me already. Especially after posts like that, and messaging me that...

THIS  (and the whole "both refusing to remove me from Facebook" thing, gives me hope. - and yes, they're not deleting me off Facebook for a reason. I know. Tooo long to write out how I know why, but trust me that I do.


So this is good... There has got to be something up... Maybe my girl hasn't lost feeling for me... Or wants the sister to keep tabs on me... that's the only reason why I can think of. But those are good reasons to have in myt head... It gives me belief that she still has feelings for me, romantifcally.
 

Last edited by YesIWILL (3/08/2017 11:18 pm)

Good to see some positivity around this situation. Keep the momentum.

YesIWILL wrote:

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

I don't want to, it's the only support I've got for my situation.

Aren't you getting support from anxiety forums though?
 

Not about my ex. They're saying move on, etc. Same thing as my therapist. So... yeah. This is my support. 

Well, you do have to move on lol, we all do actually. Life is movement and change, that's just how it is.

You don't have to move on from her, but you do have to move on from the bad emotional states you keep yourself in.

If you rely on her (or what she does on FB) to be happy, you're gonna be in a lot of pain.

What really helps is understanding that she's not the source of your happiness. You can be happy again without her.

It doesn't mean you're giving up, it means you found happiness and strength in yourself, in your mind.