I am almost in your shoes with only one or two differences..

1. I dont care if she talks or even flirt with other men, I didnt even when we were in a relationship...simply cause in the end of the day i was the one with her and picked her up from work or when she was out and i was absolutely sure she didnt care for other guys...flirting is nice when it stays there so i think thats your mistake.

2.I dont read much anymore but i am afraid of her and her reactions towards me.

That said I think we can make it so many people have we just have to find our own way.
My main issue besides the fact i am afraid of her reactions is i cant really enjoy every day i have ups and downs even in the same day and i dont know how much that affects my course of actions.

I liked what Pretty Flamingo wrote You need to believe that you can create a new relationship not get her back. She's not lost property!Thats my intention also and i have stopped calling her my ex-this is just a manner of speaking for making a point- 2 weeks affter we got separated

Last edited by creator1980 (3/07/2017 8:02 am)

YesIWILL wrote:

creator1980 wrote:

I am almost in your shoes with only one or two differences..

1. I dont care if she talks or even flirt with other men, I didnt even when we were in a relationship...simply cause in the end of the day i was the one with her and picked her up from work or when she was out and i was absolutely sure she didnt care for other guys...flirting is nice when it stays there so i think thats your mistake.

2.I dont read much anymore but i am afraid of her and her reactions towards me.

That said I think we can make it so many people have we just have to find our own way.
My main issue besides the fact i am afraid of her reactions is i cant really enjoy every day i have ups and downs even in the same day and i dont know how much that affects my course of actions.

I liked what Pretty Flamingo wrote You need to believe that you can create a new relationship not get her back. She's not lost property!Thats my intention also and i have stopped calling her my ex-this is just a manner of speaking for making a point- 2 weeks affter we got separated

Thank you. And yes I completely agree with her. I don't mean get her back like that. I don't see her as property at all. A new relationship with her is what I want. I guess I just don't know how to remove this doubt in my gut. It just doesn't go away?

The doubt starts going away a little when you begin to let go, I don't mean let go of your desire, but the MUST HAVE aspect of it, where it gets to the point you start giving yourself resistance

I honestly think you're afraid to let go.  Because

1. You think you'll forget her

2.  You'll find someone new


Neither is the case, since I've started to let go, my desire to get her back is still strong. Probably more strong, but it doesn't consume my life, I'm more excited about other things.   Like how spring and summer is coming.      How march madness is coming up.  The NBA playoffs.   Opening day for baseball.   I'm excited about my career.  My journey in life.   Playing video games.  Exercising.  And so much more

You basically have to get to the point you were; before you met them.   I know you say you love yourself and you're confident etc.   but for THIS aspect she's like your kryptonite     

Sadly, there's nothing any of us can say. That will get you to believe.    It's all within.     It's like if you were running a race. Others might believe you'll win and may tell you how you'll win. Or give you tips.   But if you don't believe you'll win then most likely you won't. 

You have to start letting go of her.  Not for good.  But let go of her, to get rid of your resistance.   Then once you lose it, you'll realize you still want her. and you'll start being confident.  But like I said.  I think you're afraid to let go(not give up)

YesIWILL wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Thank you. And yes I completely agree with her. I don't mean get her back like that. I don't see her as property at all. A new relationship with her is what I want. I guess I just don't know how to remove this doubt in my gut. It just doesn't go away?

The doubt starts going away a little when you begin to let go, I don't mean let go of your desire, but the MUST HAVE aspect of it, where it gets to the point you start giving yourself resistance

I honestly think you're afraid to let go. Because

1. You think she'll forget you

2. She'll find someone new


Neither is the case, since I've started to let go, my desire to get her back is still strong. Probably more strong, but it doesn't consume my life, I'm more excited about other things. Like how spring and summer is coming. How march madness is coming up. The NBA playoffs. Opening day for baseball. I'm excited about my career. My journey in life. Playing video games. Exercising. And so much more

You basically have to get to the point you were; before you met them. I know you say you love yourself and you're confident etc. but for THIS aspect she's like your kryptonite

Sadly, there's nothing any of us can say. That will get you to believe. It's all within. It's like if you were running a race. Others might believe you'll win and may tell you how you'll win. Or give you tips. But if you don't believe you'll win then most likely you won't.

You have to start letting go of her. Not for good. But let go of her, to get rid of your resistance. Then once you lose it, you'll realize you still want her. and you'll start being confident. But like I said. I think you're afraid to let go(not give up)

Thank you so much! I really really appreciate it. I want to let go in the respect you're saying. And yes I still want her back. 

I fixed the above for you. That's waht I'm really scared of. 

Dan, I REALLY appreciate your input. As always, you're always working hard to help others. It doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you so much

I know this is something I must work through on my own... I just don't know how to let go. I have hobbies, work, working on the apartment and such. Just everytime I think of her, I get this HUGE aching pain in my gut because I'm scared of who she's with, if she's forgotton about me, etc. And I know that even if those things somehow find their way to manifest into reality, I can still get her back... so I don't know why this happens when I think of her.

Thank you man, I appreciate it


but yeah, it's hard... Oddly enough  2 things helped me let go

1. her getting a boyfriend 

2.she hasn't talked to me since September 

my love got a boyfriend december 2015 and they've been together since      we stayed friends  up until like september  we talked regularly   than she just stopped replying,, my last straw was after both Christmas  and New years when I didn't get a reply..  I knew it was time for me to let go  and focus on myself and step up my confidence in knowing we'll be back together one day 


it's not easy, trust me.   plus at times I think LOA can be a blessing and a curse... blessing because  I feel like we can get anything we want  a curse, because I think it can make us a little content  idk 

Forgot To mention I texted her after finding that out an hour or so ago. Just to wish her with the same message. Oh well. Back to NC now

Dan2015 wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

creator1980 wrote:

I am almost in your shoes with only one or two differences..

1. I dont care if she talks or even flirt with other men, I didnt even when we were in a relationship...simply cause in the end of the day i was the one with her and picked her up from work or when she was out and i was absolutely sure she didnt care for other guys...flirting is nice when it stays there so i think thats your mistake.

2.I dont read much anymore but i am afraid of her and her reactions towards me.

That said I think we can make it so many people have we just have to find our own way.
My main issue besides the fact i am afraid of her reactions is i cant really enjoy every day i have ups and downs even in the same day and i dont know how much that affects my course of actions.

I liked what Pretty Flamingo wrote You need to believe that you can create a new relationship not get her back. She's not lost property!Thats my intention also and i have stopped calling her my ex-this is just a manner of speaking for making a point- 2 weeks affter we got separated

Thank you. And yes I completely agree with her. I don't mean get her back like that. I don't see her as property at all. A new relationship with her is what I want. I guess I just don't know how to remove this doubt in my gut. It just doesn't go away?

The doubt starts going away a little when you begin to let go, I don't mean let go of your desire, but the MUST HAVE aspect of it, where it gets to the point you start giving yourself resistance

I honestly think you're afraid to let go. Because

1. You think you'll forget her

2. You'll find someone new


Neither is the case, since I've started to let go, my desire to get her back is still strong. Probably more strong, but it doesn't consume my life, I'm more excited about other things. Like how spring and summer is coming. How march madness is coming up. The NBA playoffs. Opening day for baseball. I'm excited about my career. My journey in life. Playing video games. Exercising. And so much more

You basically have to get to the point you were; before you met them. I know you say you love yourself and you're confident etc. but for THIS aspect she's like your kryptonite

Sadly, there's nothing any of us can say. That will get you to believe. It's all within. It's like if you were running a race. Others might believe you'll win and may tell you how you'll win. Or give you tips. But if you don't believe you'll win then most likely you won't.

You have to start letting go of her. Not for good. But let go of her, to get rid of your resistance. Then once you lose it, you'll realize you still want her. and you'll start being confident. But like I said. I think you're afraid to let go(not give up)

You basically have to get to the point you were; before you met them. ....
Thats what i am trying to do but still havent got there.
I am not scared of letting her go i am struggling letting her go.
I am not scared she will move on and forget me,i dont know whats going on in her life we have no contacvt except a few messages 2 months ago.
The only thing i am scared of is her reactions towards me nothing else.