Believe it or not, I'm pretty shy too. To confront this, I would visualize that I was very confident and highly desired by guys. I would affirm this during meditations. In turn, he eventually told me that I seemed confident and sure in myself. Guys dig confident women and I think this makes them chase.

Sanshi wrote:

Hey guys,

there is something that bothers me lately and I would love to have some input from people who are not involved in the situation and know about LoA.

A short annotation in the beginning: I am not so deeply into LoA at the moment, because I'm very busy and have not so much time to work on myself. I am aware of my beliefs regarding that situation though. Because I don't have the time and the mind to work on those beliefs at the moment, I decided to work with them for now, accept that they are there and find a work-around.

About my situation: I met this guy two months ago and have a crush on him for around 1 1/2 months. Our relationship evolved from having to be in the same room to spending free time together, at first just in the context we met, but around a week ago, we had something one could call a date. Every time we met, we spent a little more time together. The last time we met, we hung out for 8 hours. We have very much in common. Sometimes, I think he is the male version of me, it's weird how similar we are in some regards, so we had a really good base for a relationship.
There is also a good number of indicators that he likes me too. Besides spending so much time with me (I ended every single one of our meetings so far), he seems to use every possibility to make physical contact (not in a creepy way), he paid for my food last time we met, he always drove me home, regardless of how early or late it was, and a few other things. The last time we met, we watched a movie and we sat there, his arm on my arm, for nearly 1 1/2 hours. Everytime he moved and there arose a little space between us, he ended up touching my arm again after a few minutes. This is nothing so new, he started giving me this little hints weeks ago. The problem is...he doesn't make a further move. I have some beliefs about the kind of person he is and that includes that he isn't good with girls, that he hasn't much experience with girls or none at all and that it will take him forever to make a move towards me, if at all. Well, that's what I was referring to in the beginning. I can't change those beliefs right now, I have to work with them and accept that I created it that way. That implies that I either have to wait and hope that he will make the first step or I have to make the first step myself. I am pretty shy, but also a little impatient and I feel this pressure arising in me. I feel that there has to happen something soon, else it drives me crazy.
As I said, I am shy. At first sight, he is very confident, even arrogant sometimes. If you would meet him, you probably would say anything about him, but not that he is shy. But after watching how carefully he tries to get closer to me and how he immediately backs off, when I react to it inaptly, I really get the impression that he is shy behind his cool badboy mask. If he was an obviously shy guy, it would be much easier for me to make a step towards him, but looking at the way he acts normally, it's very hard to believe that he wouldn't make the first step, if he was interested in me. I am pretty sure that he won't reject me. I have collected evidences for him liking me for weeks now and I am at a point that I think it's relatively save for me to make the first step. But I am still afraid to do it. Not so much because of the risk to be rejected, but because I don't know what will happen. I don't know how he reacts to it, I don't know how it will continue with us. The last time I got together with a guy was in 2012 and it's been so long that I feel as if it was the first time and I can't handle the situation. Just the thought of putting my head on his shoulder makes me nervous as hell.

I would appreciate any input, be it from the guys around here who maybe know better how he feels, be it to cheer me on and give me some courage or whatever.

​I m a guy and therefore, I can very well understand the feelings of the guy whom you are dating. If he is trying to touch you but not making a further move, then he is actually fearing rejection from you. I believe, that the guy is really a person of very good heart and just does not want to ruin his relationship with u by just trying to be more physical. He is giving more importance to the love that is budding than the physical relationship. But if you make the first move, he would get the confidence and trust he wont reject or shy away.