1 of 1- Pan_Pipe
- Junior
Offline - Registered: 1/22/2017
- Posts: 20
Anger
I need help with letting go of my anger. I have mostly good thoughts - for example, this morning I totally captured that feeling of when you start texting someone you're interested in and it's like you're starting to fall in love. I just felt like that and it was great. And most of the time I am positive and actively choose positive thoughts.
But every now and again, I get this massive flash of anger about the break up. And the frustrating thing is... I never got an opportunity to let that anger out.
I know a lot of people have had all those arguments and moments with their exes during and post break up, but I never did. I was pretty certain and prepared the day it happened... I thought there was a chance it wouldn't, but to be completely honest I'd prepared myself and, as you'll all know, definitely created it because I'd envisioned it. But even at the time that he told me (and it was short, literally a sentence) I was still playing to win. I knew this wasn't really it, so I knew I had to keep my cool. I just told him I loved him and walked away, and we haven't said a single word since.
So I never got to yell at him about what an ass he'd been to me. Never said hurtful things. And I know really that it's a blessing, I kept my dignity, I chose the positive path. I already knew what I wanted in my heart and was taking the path of least resistance by not fighting and giving in to anything but my love.
I really want to let go of my anger. Because it doesn't serve me. And I know people here say acknowledge the emotion and let it go. I'm really ready to let it go. Being angry just hurts me. But I could really use some guidance on how to forgive and let it go, because it's something I'm struggling with.
- Avaelle
- Guru
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- Registered: 11/15/2016
- Posts: 1,147
Re: Anger
One of my ex discarded me via text after years of being together. I never had the chance to curse him out or what I consider disclosing of the relationship properly. I believe I know how you feel. You're seeking closure from outside methods, you need to find it from the inside of you. The first step is accepting, accepting your role in it.
The Universe is your playground.
- Suzy
- Superhero
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- Registered: 12/03/2016
- Posts: 203
Re: Anger
Have you tried writing down the anger? What you would say to him?
- Pan_Pipe
- Junior
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- Registered: 1/22/2017
- Posts: 20
Re: Anger
Avaelle wrote:
One of my ex discarded me via text after years of being together. I never had the chance to curse him out or what I consider disclosing of the relationship properly. I believe I know how you feel. You're seeking closure from outside methods, you need to find it from the inside of you. The first step is accepting, accepting your role in it.
I'm glad someone knows how I feel.
You're right - my anger does come from a place of wanting to be validated from the outside. I am making efforts to accept my part, but I can find it triggers those instincts to be angry and defensive. And I try and catch myself.
Actually making this post has helped me feel it out a little.
Can I ask how you overcame this feeling when it happened to you? What active steps you took to become more peaceful about it and accept? What sort of conversations you had with yourself?
I think my anger is the negative emotion I struggle most to turn around.
- •
Thread Starter- Pan_Pipe
- Junior
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- Registered: 1/22/2017
- Posts: 20
Re: Anger
Have you tried writing down the anger? What you would say to him?
I haven't written it down. I tend to get my angry spells in the shower for some reason 😂 At the very least it means it's confined to 20 minutes tops because I'm no longer so angry by the time I'm out of the shower!
It's also difficult because by the end of my mind racing through the things I'd say, all I feel afterwards is that it all boils down to being angry because I got hurt and that I don't really mean those horrible things, that I really love him and that I'm glad I never said them.
- •
Thread Starter- Avaelle
- Guru
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- Registered: 11/15/2016
- Posts: 1,147
Re: Anger
One of my ex discarded me via text after years of being together. I never had the chance to curse him out or what I consider disclosing of the relationship properly. I believe I know how you feel. You're seeking closure from outside methods, you need to find it from the inside of you. The first step is accepting, accepting your role in it.
I'm glad someone knows how I feel.
You're right - my anger does come from a place of wanting to be validated from the outside. I am making efforts to accept my part, but I can find it triggers those instincts to be angry and defensive. And I try and catch myself.
Actually making this post has helped me feel it out a little.
Can I ask how you overcame this feeling when it happened to you? What active steps you took to become more peaceful about it and accept? What sort of conversations you had with yourself?
I think my anger is the negative emotion I struggle most to turn around.
I identified characteristics about him and accepted them. I admitted to myself that I knew of those things early on but over looked them. Then, I had to do the hard part which was to look myself in the mirror and figure out why I over looked things. Then, the anger turned to sadness. Sad because I realized how low my self worth was and that I had attracted what happened. From there, it was about changing me and heading towards the day where I attract good things. It felt amazing to give myself closure, vet powerful
The Universe is your playground.
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com