I dont know what to do anymore at the moment. Right now I just feel like I am screwing everything up for myself and when I get to this point I just feel like I cant get out of it.

The boy Ive been seeing for a while now Was always so good to me and I attracted a lot of his good behavior, of course he also has a good heart of himself. I also started a lot of fights and now i feel like were drifting apart. I try to be positive because I know what good it brings but I find it so hard at times. Especially when I dont hear from him or he doesnt respond. It feels like my whole world than starts to crumble down.

I know I should be detached and love myself and put myself first. But at times I just feel so disrespected that I cant help but cry and feel down. I really want to let go of it all but at the same time I dont know how. History shows that the only times I was able to let go of men was when I met someone new or when they broke up with me and I had no other choice. But being in the midst of it makes it so hard to let go.

I also have this fear (perhaps from past experiences) that he met or will meet someone else. I try to let these thoughts go and then things happen like him not responding or him not answering and than I feel like its being confirmed. I know im creating everything for myself. But sometimes I get so anxious.

Im so sorry if im bringing anyone down because     Of this story but I just hope that someone can give me some advice or encouraging words. It would be very much appreciated.