Sanshi wrote:

Blessedck wrote:

I just want to stop all of this and be happy again.

What does hold you back? You can decide to stop that and if you aren't able to feel happy in the process, the process won't work anyway. So it's a waste of time and energy.

There is something I learned lately. We are all trying way too hard. The more we want something the more we "work" to make it happen and the more we work the less it happens. It's a game and what happens when you try too hard in a game? It isn't fun anymore. But fun is the only reason to play this game, so it's completely crazy. You play the game to have fun, but you don't allow yourself to have fun..wtf? What I want to say with this is if you have to choose between feeling good and chasing a guy, choose feeling good. Don't put another person first. Why would you even chase a guy for two years? Why would you choose to feel that something is missing for you to be happy for two long years?

What I have learned on this journey is that I am done with chasing guy. Do I like my current guy? Yes. Does it look good between us? Not sure right now. Am I attached to us working out? No. What will I say, if it doesn't work out? Next! I am done with chasing anybody and honestly, it feels so freeing.

Thats a very good point Sanshi.

I just want to add that getting your specific person is possible. There are stories of people who had a crush in school and end up being together after 10 years. Possibilities are endless.

You are right about choosing happiness over another person. If the game isn't fun, sometimes, you also change the disk.

It's a *****, isn't it? Every time I try to make stuff happen with techniques, nothing good really happens....I might get results here and there but then it's two steps forward and then one step back...or it doesn't happen until the strangest times after completely letting go. It just feels like pressure. But when I work with the techniques, not to make things happen but only to relax and have fun like a video game - only to satisfy an emotional state without any worldly expectations - good things do happen rather quickly. And then it gets you hooked and you repeat the same pattern.

Sanshi wrote:

AceWay123 wrote:

I just want to add that getting your specific person is possible..

Of course it is possible. Anything is possible. But it isn't possible with that "I will make that happen and try very hard" mindset, at least not in my experience. If we could all implement that light "Wouldn't it be nice if?" mindset, the forum would be deserted within two weeks.
 

That is completely true.

The forum has had a lot of negative posts recently. Few people put up some success but there are few who still struggling and losing faith because they try too hard.

Naturally trying too hard also drains you, because you do everything you can but stay in the same spot. You don't allow things to go with time so you give up.

Sanshi wrote:

Blessedck wrote:

I just want to stop all of this and be happy again.

What does hold you back? You can decide to stop that and if you aren't able to feel happy in the process, the process won't work anyway. So it's a waste of time and energy.

There is something I learned lately. We are all trying way too hard. The more we want something the more we "work" to make it happen and the more we work the less it happens. It's a game and what happens when you try too hard in a game? It isn't fun anymore. But fun is the only reason to play this game, so it's completely crazy. You play the game to have fun, but you don't allow yourself to have fun..wtf? What I want to say with this is if you have to choose between feeling good and chasing a guy, choose feeling good. Don't put another person first. Why would you even chase a guy for two years? Why would you choose to feel that something is missing for you to be happy for two long years?

What I have learned on this journey is that I am done with chasing guy. Do I like my current guy? Yes. Does it look good between us? Not sure right now. Am I attached to us working out? No. What will I say, if it doesn't work out? Next! I am done with chasing anybody and honestly, it feels so freeing.

Hi Sanshi,

You're absolutely correct and I don't know why I have been so crazy about him. I'm not upset in life in regards to other aspects of life. I'm doing well in my career, my friends and family are great, and I'm happy with the way I look. However, I have dated other guys in the past and even met other guys now but no one compares to him and that is why I get scared that I might not get what I want and hence this starts off the negative thinking.

But, I completely agree with you that I have definitely been trying too hard and I should not force anything and rather just go with the flow and expect things to happen. My happiness does take precedence over any guy. Thank you for the reminder. I appreciate your help. Thank you