It has consumed me. I can't believe I'm being such a sore loser about all of this but I can't help it. I'm not seeing results anymore. I'm frustrated. My lover is saying the opposite of everything I want to hear. I don't trust a single word she says since I know she's the world's greatest liar. What is up with her saying she's okay if we kiss and saying she loves me (she'll alternate between only as a friend or more than a friend) and it leaves me so confused.

I feel like she's just using me because she's lonely. I ask her if that's what she's doing and she says sure continue to think that but will never tell me if anything is true or not. I don't know what the **** I am doing anymore. I'm just a ball of negativity and that's what's been keeping me together.

She's always been a complicated person. She's never believed in us. And for fucks sake she can't let go of the fact that I broke up with her last year when she was begging me to so now I feel that when we did get back together it was all just a lie since she still brings it up.

Now we're again broken up. What's the point if all she's making me feel like she doesn't love me at all.


Any advice to snap out of it for LOA or just plain opinion of this situation.