I guess I just don't know if I can turn this whole thing around and attract him back. In theory it really sounds good, but just like YESIWILL , I just don't know how to believe. I really need some help.

sunny wrote:

You don't have to turn anything around. It's not about action. It's about thoughts and feelings. It's about living like you have the relationship you want now. This will align you with the reality in which you are already together with your person. That reality is happening right now. You just have to align your thoughts and feelings with it and stay aligned.

Yes, but how? I fell like I just joined this forum for the first time and haven't learned anything! I can think positive thoughts, but in the back of my head I know I'm lying. So it goes from positive back to this. Only thing I really know to do is move on, which sucks bc I really like him.

iinikkii wrote:

So last night, after being pretty upset all day long, I couldn't wait anymore so I called him.. and he answered. AND we ended up facetiming for 4 hours!!!! OMG Is am and was on cloud 9!!

Is this what you expected? Did you believe it would happen?
 

Yeah, it's kinda funny how good stuff can still happen even when we didn't expect it or believe it, even when our vibes were low. Really makes you wonder.

What helps me deal with anxiety and worry is to just let myself feel the fear. Usually when we're worried, we try to block it out and resist it by finding anything to feel good, but I find that this has never really helped me, especially if the fear is a big one. So I just accept the fear, I remind myself I'm brave enough to accept the fear, and then I just let myself feel it, shutting off the mind and living purely in awareness/ meditation, the fear will eventually dissolve. Fear is so scary that we are afraid to feel it and accept it, so by actually feeling it and embracing it, it's like we're showing ourselves that it's not scary, that it was all a mirage.

And then when the calm is back, I deal with worry by questioning it. It's only human to want to feel like we're doing something productive, and worrying gives us the feeling that we are doing something productive in the face of fear, but it's an illusion. It's a misdirection of willpower but it feels like willpower which is why it can be comforting in a weird way. So first I remind myself: does worrying ever solve anything? No, it doesn't. So why worry? Second, I remind myself that I already have my desire (or that it will manifest soon) and therefore worrying has no place in my life, instead I should just live my life as if I have it. (That's usually when LoA exercises and whatnot come in handy.) It's that subtle shift in perspective and will that works for me, but I think you gotta be patient with it too, it gets easier to stay in command of your anxieties over time, practice makes perfect.

As for impatience, I think I struggle with that the most. One thing that helps is to let myself feel the frustration like above and then in a state of calm I go over my LoA exercises (I like to script out the vision of my desire which makes me feel like I have it). Another thing that is very practical is to ask yourself what you want to feel from this experience. Is it love, confidence, fun, joy, peace, etc? What action can you take now in your life to fulfill yourself with that inner feeling? Sometimes the answer is so obvious or intuitive, but the anxious monkey mind resists.

Last edited by Colonel Roosevelt (1/25/2017 7:58 pm)

big_blue wrote:

I've been dealing with impatience mostly, not towards a guy, but towards job hunting and call backs. Kind of like CR, I recognize and tell myself that I'm feeling impatient/angry/upset and I don't try to change it, because I know in a few hours, or after a good session at the gym, or hell - even grabbing a drink -  I'll feel better. 

'This too shall pass' is something I always tell myself when feeling some resistance. But I'm human, I'm gonna feel like sh*t some days. I'm not going to beat myself up over it, because that'll make me feel worse. 

I'm in your exact situation.