=This is a bit unfortunate you feel that way about the advice given YesIWILL. I took this from www.mustsparkjoy.com. Like Veronica, she believes no situation is impossible and her page has other amazing articles. All the best YesIWILL

http://www.mustsparkjoy.com/how-to-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back-for-good/

Last edited by MiracleMaker (1/24/2017 5:58 pm)

YESIWILL, I know you're in the hospital, So I hope everything is going good

when it  comes to this situation, I think you might have some attachment issues, you get so use to the company/the love the person gives you, that when they leave it really impacts you.   It's one of your insecurities, we all have them.

I know you said you love yourself and you're content with yourself, and I believe you, but that doesn't mean you DON'T need improvements, we all do... Think of it as if you're a great athlete... you don't think GREAT athletes like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Larry Bird, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning,etc... knew they were great but also felt like they could use improvements?    you say you love yourself, I believe you, but there's obviously some work you need to do to become a even better version of yourself.

when it comes to this situation... I think for THIS aspect, you just need to believe in yourself more, I mean, how much worse can it get?  you already don't have her, what is believing gonna do to make it worse?   Just try to put positive thoughts about this situation into your head every day...  basically fake it until you actually believe it and start seeing the results. 

sunny wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Every time I try to let go and give up on her, I see huge signs which pull me back in, telling me not to give up. But you're right!! I do need to focus on myself. I don't think I truely understand how to. i'd appreciate some help, if that's alright

I can do this! It'll take time, but I know I can! The Universe wants me to have my desires, too

Listen to me.

You create your reality entirely. You create the other people in it. Everything originates from inside of you. Your outer world is just a reflection of what is going on inside of you. Really think about that. Really understand that. This means that YOU generate your happiness. It's all you. This girl is just a symbol in your outside world. She (used to) say or do things that made YOU create happiness in YOU. Take her away, YOU can still create that happiness.

She is not the reason. She never was. It's you. It was always you. You can make yourself happy with or without this symbol.

That being said, my advice is to really understand what I just said, DO NOT contact her in any way, don't stalk her in any way, and COMPLETELY focus on your own life. You are extremely aware of your current reality and this is not helping you heal or align with what you want. Go and get your own life completely without her. Make how you feel the most important thing in life, but do that while also staying away from her. If you put in the effort to do this, things will change for the better. But you have to do this, or nothing will. Simple as that. I went 10 months of no contact. Best thing I ever did.

Hi sunny . you went 10 months of no contact then what results you have got?
I did no contact & she msg me on 33rd day.she said she miss me need my support.
I was happy but after some talking "she said forget me & marry another, forgive me, many good girls now out there, marry someone better& i will be your kid's aunty".
After listening this i was shocked..
& now trying my best to raise my vibration.
From 4 days she didn't read my another msg but yesterday she replied as a friend.
Can you show me a light pls?
Thanks

Dan2015 wrote:

YESIWILL, I know you're in the hospital, So I hope everything is going good

when it  comes to this situation, I think you might have some attachment issues, you get so use to the company/the love the person gives you, that when they leave it really impacts you.   It's one of your insecurities, we all have them.

I know you said you love yourself and you're content with yourself, and I believe you, but that doesn't mean you DON'T need improvements, we all do... Think of it as if you're a great athlete... you don't think GREAT athletes like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Larry Bird, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning,etc... knew they were great but also felt like they could use improvements?    you say you love yourself, I believe you, but there's obviously some work you need to do to become a even better version of yourself.

when it comes to this situation... I think for THIS aspect, you just need to believe in yourself more, I mean, how much worse can it get?  you already don't have her, what is believing gonna do to make it worse?   Just try to put positive thoughts about this situation into your head every day...  basically fake it until you actually believe it and start seeing the results. 

Re your second paragraph Dan, you're correct but he's more used to NOT being with her now so that puzzles me.

Em wrote:

Again, you are missing the point. No, I'm sorry to say, but you are not "healed" if you are still crying and desperately pining over this girl the way you have been since April, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong). Not healed at all. We can all very clearly see this. You are erratic and obsessed.

You can kid yourself all you like into believing you love yourself, but so long as you need this other person to make you feel whole again then it's safe to say you have not done enough internal work on yourself and you will always fail to manifest her back unless you take the time to work on being genuinely complete without her. Once you get to that point where you're not thinking about this or her and getting her back, when you reach a point where you can actually be happy without her, THEN you can say you don't need to heal or work on yourself.

Your problem is obedience. You can't even maintain no contact without slipping back into your old ways of harassing this girl and trying to force her into somehow changing her feelings. Yes, your gesture of gifts would have been sweet providing she hadn't made it clear that you stay away from her right now, and unfortunately gifts will not buy you love in return. You didn't respect her wishes for a start, and believe it or not, she is not obliged to love you just because you sent her gifts. If you can't even maintain no contact with this girl for a substantial amount of time (and I'm talking MONTHS, not weeks or days) then how the hell are you supposed to maintain and get a grasp on your own thoughts that will ultimately help you believe? There is no quick miracle to this. And nobody is actually obliged to help you. YOU have to help you. Stop being lazy and do the internal work for yourself. 

And how dare you say that the sound advice people have given you here is "nonsense". No, the advice just isn't what you want to hear. Because your problem is you don't want to hear that you have to take the time and make this work for yourself without a quick miracle that nobody else can give to you. Well tough luck, because that ain't how this works.

The advice people have given you over and over again is absolutely crucial to manifesting ANYTHING. Your threads across all of the LOA boards get more responses than anybody else's. Pages and pages of sound advice by people who also have their own problems that they are working on. Again, NOBODY is obliged to help you. You are not special or a special case. Nobody has been given more help across all of these boards than you have. So please, do us all a favour and refrain from saying their advice is "nonsence" purely because you are incapable of listening to it and implementing it.

Remember, you once got banned from here for asking these exact same questions over and over again. You went to another board tantrumming and telling people to steer clear of Veronica's board because people had "failed" you by not telling you what you want to hear. Yet here you are again, begging and pleading people to take time out of their own day to help you and then have the audacity to say the advice you get is useless to you.

You are selfish and ungrateful. You clearly expect everything to fall into your lap and spit your dummy out when things backfire on you because YOU DON'T LISTEN. You expect and expect and expect but really, what are you giving back? You expect everybodies help, you expect your girl to just love you and change her feelings all because you sent her gifts. All of those things are useless unless you change yourself. You can tell us until you're blue in the face that you don't need to, but every single thing about the behaviour you display does in fact say otherwise.

Good day.

No. no don't do that. You don't have any right to say I don't love myself. You can't assume something based upon something else. I do love myself and you cannot say I do not based upon a limited understanding of how I'm feeling and what I know to be true about myself. I'm doing better but I'm still struggling. And I do listen. Actually applying is the difficult situation. And I can't apply something if I can't fully trust in it. That's all I'm saying. I'm not ignoring any advice nor am I "not listening". I understand why you're thinking specific things about me but please know that I find these kind of assumptions insulting.

I haven't contacted her since I sent that gift and I will continue not to. I have absolutely no desire to contact her right now. I don't feel that "desperate need" to do so. I guess that shows I'm getting better?

Now I'm trying hard to work on my own life, get an apartment, etc., but the situation is still getting to me.

I apologize to everyone if you think I'm not listening, and I can see how it may seem like that's the case, but I most definitely am listening. It's difficult however to apply something that you can't truly believe.

I find it to be a reasonable thing to do when I ask things such as "how do I do this?" Especially when I don't know how to get the actual faith I need to get her back. Listening is not my issue, I am very much listening and am really tired and frustrated at hearing otherwise. The previous point of "having faith that I can get her back" is where I'm struggling.


Thanks.

Last edited by YesIWILL (1/31/2017 11:30 pm)