Dan2015 wrote:

I honestly don't think you were ready for such a big moment     like others have said, it's like you're back to the summer you.. IF you can break THIS easily, then you haven't figured out how to TRULY love yourself

I'm not saying you don't love yourself, but people who get to the point of unconditionally loving themselves, either KNOW the result will be positive or they don't care what happens, because they know that THEY are all they need.

This is what I was trying to get through to you on the phone. Valuing yourself lovely. You still have her up on the pedestal. I know it's hard for you to kinda see but honestly you need to figure out about yourself deeper. You'll make it and break this cycle though, I have faith you will and when you do you'll be a whole new unbreakable and better personn x
When that day comes I'm gonna be so proud of you. But like I said, baby steps.
 

Last edited by zionthecomedian (1/19/2017 4:07 pm)

I'm not sure how to word this without being so abrupt but I assure you I do mean well, do not contact her, leave her be, don't check up on her, don't check if she's still on your friend's list. 

Focus on yourself, you have to be happy in you for you. It's nice to have someone in your life but you can't rely on another person to bring you happiness. 

Oh...I was actually expecting a different reaction from your love altogether....but anyways, listen, I wrote earlier also, how does it matter how she reacts, u gave something, and thats it!!! Now dont expect. You kept waiting for a reaction and so it reacted!!!!
N come on, how does it matter what her sister said....shes not the receiver right??? Maybe your love reacted differently and she is stating something else (now dont go behind her finding the truth...relax) You know she did not delete u on FB, So NOW U JUST DISAPPER....i mean, go for the NC rule. Stop it once and for all. You know a secret....with all these gifts and signs of emotions u have UNDOUBTEDLY created a space for yourself in your heart. She will always cherish those gifts...its not that everyday u get someone who loves u so much....alone...she will think about it. So LET HER. U just stop contacting in anyways.....if she has any remote feeling, she will reach out. U also stop thinking if u did something embarrasing....u gave a few gifts....thats it!!! Your wish....now forget it! Her sister is a nobody, so chill out. Currently just focus on yourself and any other women you can (lolzzzz) Give yourself the space and let her miss you....take my word, she will!!!! YESSHEWILL!!! LOLZZZ

tessy wrote:

Oh...I was actually expecting a different reaction from your love altogether....but anyways, listen, I wrote earlier also, how does it matter how she reacts, u gave something, and thats it!!! Now dont expect. You kept waiting for a reaction and so it reacted!!!!
N come on, how does it matter what her sister said....shes not the receiver right??? Maybe your love reacted differently and she is stating something else (now dont go behind her finding the truth...relax) You know she did not delete u on FB, So NOW U JUST DISAPPER....i mean, go for the NC rule. Stop it once and for all. You know a secret....with all these gifts and signs of emotions u have UNDOUBTEDLY created a space for yourself in your heart. She will always cherish those gifts...its not that everyday u get someone who loves u so much....alone...she will think about it. So LET HER. U just stop contacting in anyways.....if she has any remote feeling, she will reach out. U also stop thinking if u did something embarrasing....u gave a few gifts....thats it!!! Your wish....now forget it! Her sister is a nobody, so chill out. Currently just focus on yourself and any other women you can (lolzzzz) Give yourself the space and let her miss you....take my word, she will!!!! YESSHEWILL!!! LOLZZZ

I guess you're right... it's just a little traumatic, having the sister, who I was REALLY close to speak to me in such a way. And maybe... I didn't sign the package, so my girl must've told the sister about it. I just hope she's keeping the things around and not tossing them. Maybe if she sees them she'll miss me over time? And I hope you're right that she'll cherish those gifts. But you're right. That was actually the last time I was going to reach out. 

You really think she will start to miss me in time?
And you really think she will reach out to me?

I really hope so. I'm optimistic Thank you for everything. You've brightened my morning.

InLakEsch wrote:

All these people are giving you some amazing advice. Now I know you love her. That's clear. What's best at this point in time is to just forget about her. I'm not saying move on, but forgetting about her for a while will detach you from the outcome. Take some time to learn who you truly are and what you bring to the table. I know you say you're cool and calm but we've all seen you post up and down. You need to keep going up but everytime you post about being positive there's usually that, but she probably hates me. Why should you care? The less you care about this the more effective anything you do will be. You're objective in loa is and will always be to just relax. The more relaxed you can feel about something the easier it comes to you. I recommend listening or reading eckhart tolle. Your situation will forever be as hopeless as you make it. It's always about you.

They have, you're right! Thank you. Who I truly am, and what I bring to the table... I can do this Hell, I bring a LOT to the table. I'm a one-in-a-million guy. Any girl would be lucky to have me! - And Eckhart Tolle huh? I'll definitely listen or read some of his stuff! I've listened to some of his stuff before but I will definitely do more of that. Thank you!

Staceylouuu91x wrote:

I'm not sure how to word this without being so abrupt but I assure you I do mean well, do not contact her, leave her be, don't check up on her, don't check if she's still on your friend's list. 

Focus on yourself, you have to be happy in you for you. It's nice to have someone in your life but you can't rely on another person to bring you happiness. 

You're right! I can't rely on another person for my happiness. I need to find out what's causing me to place so much importance on her. I will not contact her again, but I really hope she will reach out! - She's had numerous chances to block me or remove me from Facebook, but something is DEFINITELY stopping her... what that is? I'm not sure! But it makes me hopeful Thank you!

sunny wrote:

Listen to me.

You create your reality entirely. You create the other people in it. Everything originates from inside of you. Your outer world is just a reflection of what is going on inside of you. Really think about that. Really understand that. This means that YOU generate your happiness. It's all you. This girl is just a symbol in your outside world. She (used to) say or do things that made YOU create happiness in YOU. Take her away, YOU can still create that happiness.

She is not the reason. She never was. It's you. It was always you. You can make yourself happy with or without this symbol.

That being said, my advice is to really understand what I just said, DO NOT contact her in any way, don't stalk her in any way, and COMPLETELY focus on your own life. You are extremely aware of your current reality and this is not helping you heal or align with what you want. Go and get your own life completely without her. Make how you feel the most important thing in life, but do that while also staying away from her. If you put in the effort to do this, things will change for the better. But you have to do this, or nothing will. Simple as that. I went 10 months of no contact. Best thing I ever did.

Thank you so much! I really needed to hear how much control I have over my own reality. I really need to keep that in my mind. And 10 months? And did he reach out? - I'm really happy that helped you I just hope at some point she'll be willing to give the relationship another chance, after SHE reaches out to ME. I feel very connected to her. Thank you

zionthecomedian wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

I honestly don't think you were ready for such a big moment     like others have said, it's like you're back to the summer you.. IF you can break THIS easily, then you haven't figured out how to TRULY love yourself

I'm not saying you don't love yourself, but people who get to the point of unconditionally loving themselves, either KNOW the result will be positive or they don't care what happens, because they know that THEY are all they need.

This is what I was trying to get through to you on the phone. Valuing yourself lovely. You still have her up on the pedestal. I know it's hard for you to kinda see but honestly you need to figure out about yourself deeper. You'll make it and break this cycle though, I have faith you will and when you do you'll be a whole new unbreakable and better personn x
When that day comes I'm gonna be so proud of you. But like I said, baby steps.
 

Thank you so much I really really appreciate all you're doing to help me. I REALLY REALLY do. I need to figure out why I'm putting her so high on the pedestal. There must be something about myself I'm not seeing, because as far as I can see, I love who I am, and I love myself. But as far as she, and family goes, everyone (as in, she and my family) are treating me like dirt, and are not taking into account how I feel. And if they're all a reflection of me, I must be causing this somehow. I just don't know how. But I know we will get through this! You are amazing, thank you SO much)

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Just a question: If you never contacted her again would she still be able to keep tabs on what you are doing? Such as mutual friends etc?

I was thinking that if she sees you being positive and strong she may change her viewpoint.

Well if she keeps me on Facebook I'm sure she'll see (And that's the only way, as she cut ties with any mutual friends we've had.) I'm trying hard to stay positive and hopeful that she'll return

I just hope in time she'll reach out. I know I shouldn't be scared as that shows lack, but I am right now. I really hope in time she will miss me and will realize what she's missing and reach out to me, asking for another shot.


Thank you everyone I'm so lucky to have you all to talk to!



 

tessy wrote:

Yes my dear she WILL MISS YOU. But again, do not EXPECT anything. Few things are only felt. That dosnt mean she will jet set get in touch. She will come back anytime she has to. You have done your bit (which was damn cute)  now just be silent. I believe in NC because currently she is in a different space and whatever you do with a good intention will be misunderstood. Give her time to realise what it was about. When she wont have it, she will search for it. Slow n steady dude!!

Thank you so much! As you can tell it's been a fairly emotional two days for me, but I'm still just going up as far as my vibe goes I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself, ESPECIALLY after this setback, but while I'm in this state, I do need to say that I really hope she will reach out to me sometime in the future. And it was damn cute, eh? Well I really appreciate that Wish she found it ya know... not creepy haha! And who knows? Maybe she didn't! Maybe it was just her sister. And when she won't have it, she will search for it? Hopefully not elsewhere. That's what scares me greatly. I guess that's where I start then, working on myself. 

Thank you