jensherratt wrote:

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

jensherratt wrote:

Was never an option for me. I KNEW my boyfriend would come back and he has.

You should never ask yourself what if ........

Because then that's just showing that you don't trust the universe

Worked differently for me. I didn't have faith. I didn't know she'd come back. I just reached the point where I was sick of always doing RS for her and I wanted to live for myself again because I deserved to be happy. I let go and lived, she entered my life again, but by then I changed and wanted something different. I couldn't have found a new level of happiness and self-growth if I didn't ask myself "What if?" and pick the road less taken.

 
Then you can't have wanted it as much as you thought

I wouldn't necessarily say that, people's desires change at times.

He may have really wanted it at first, then realized there was someone else better for him

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

No, I did want her. I just didn't let my desire for her control my happiness or my sense of self anymore. I wanted her a lot, or rather I wanted the past, the way we once were. But we both changed, we were on different wavelengths, we had different desires and lifestyles now. It didn't make sense for me to pursue her anymore. You can be attracted to someone but it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be good together. So it makes more sense for me to focus on the essence of what I desire, whether it comes from her or someone else since what we really desire is more of an experience and not really a person.
 

 
Fair enough,

I decided that I could have him or someone better, so I carried on with my life as it was before. I saw friends, I watched movies, I ate better, I took up yoga, met new people and generally had a good time. As time went on I started to realise I didn't really miss him as much as I thought I did and I was a lot happier in myself not living for him. Someone better has come along since and I'm excited to see what plays out. 

I don't like the "someone better" approach but I am speaking to other guys but I still believe that my guy is mine and we're meant for each other