Blue wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

Blue wrote:

So, if our obstacles are manifestations of our past thoughts. The way to undo them would be to view them as easy things? Or view them as not obstacles at all?

Don't give them any attention at all. They only can stay alive, because you notice them.

How is it possible to not notice our obstacles, though?

 
Don't focus on the current reality

MiracleMaker wrote:

Hey everyone, I am feeling so hopeless right now I hope someone reaches out. I feel so lost, alone and scared. My ex, who I love so dearly keeps cheating on me. Its like the story keeps repeating itself with the same people. The only constant that has remained was me because I believed him overtime I see said I was the one, I am the one he loves, I am the person he wants to build a life with. Even people close to him tell me to leave him alone because I don't deserve to be treated like this. The details are so terrible and I am so scared. Someone, please help me. Is there really no such thing as an impossible situation or have I finally met it

My reply will be very unpopular as it's not LOA related.

You deserve better and deserve not to be cheated on.

You do what you wish, but if it were me he would be kicked to the kerb quicker than you can say Jack Robinson.

Then work on the beliefs you have about partners cheating on you

All the best. You deserve to be respected and treated properly.

It's funny how my original post spiraled into some very interesting dialogue. The thing is, if I wanted a lesson on what should absolutely not be tolerated in a relationship, I wouldn't be here. I came here in a state of hope, not to be judged and to feel low like I have been doing something so wrong. I am not the first or the last here to have been put in this situation, but out of bravery i shared the raw details of my story and I don't regret it because I'm sure the advice given is going to help someone else. Cheating is not the only way we can be hurt in a relationship and I am sure there are others going through events just as painful...jeez this is why I came here, not to get a lecture. Its so ironic, I was waiting to share this later after new developments but the day after I posted this, the woman in question reached out to tell me it was not the case and that due to certain circumstances ( they share a child) he reached out but it was completely platonic and she is not happy with how everything unfolded because many persons misinterpreted what was going on. The sad part, my insecurities blew this up to mass proportions before I had all the details and I accused him of something he HAD been working on so now our communication has been cut to a big fat zero, as it appears he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. So that is going to be my focus right now. I believe I will be able to get the relationship of my dreams - so I get it, but I think I have decided what I want. 

Last edited by MiracleMaker (1/14/2017 2:51 pm)

MiracleMaker wrote:

It's funny how my original post spiraled into some very interesting dialogue. The thing is, if I wanted a lesson on what should absolutely not be tolerated in a relationship, I wouldn't be here. I came here in a state of hope, not to be judged and to feel low like I have been doing something so wrong. I am not the first or the last here to have been put in this situation, but out of bravery i shared the raw details of my story and I don't regret it because I'm sure the advice given is going to help someone else. Cheating is not the only way we can be hurt in a relationship and I am sure there are others going through events just as painful...jeez this is why I came here, not to get a lecture. Its so ironic, I was waiting to share this later after new developments but the day after I posted this, the woman in question reached out to tell me it was not the case and that due to certain circumstances ( they share a child) he reached out but it was completely platonic and she is not happy with how everything unfolded because many persons misinterpreted what was going on. The sad part, my insecurities blew this up to mass proportions before I had all the details and I accused him of something he HAD been working on so now our communication has been cut to a big fat zero, as it appears he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. So that is going to be my focus right now. I believe I will be able to get the relationship of my dreams - so I get it, but I think I have decided what I want. 

The hardest part In my opinion is making the decision after you have been so hurt. Something inside of you is telling you to keep going, so do it. I know the pain that your heart feels is the worst pain in the world and to be honest some people are right on this thread when they say you deserve more, we all do. But for some reason we want what we want and there is nothing wrong with that. No relationship is better than the other as we already know that we are all equal. Obviously something was wrong within your last relationship but that does not mean that it isn't stopping you from having an equally loving, respecting, faithful relationship that is brand new! Keep going, you can do it! 
 

In the link that I provided in an earlier post I think it really did a good job of explaining why someone cheats. It all comes down to how much we love ourselves and less to do with what "you" did or didn't do in the relationship. Don't we all deserve the chance to change? I know it sounds like I am condoning cheating but I am aware that people can change. I know I wasn't the best person in my last relationship, but if he could give me another chance why wouldn't I do the same and go in with the best of intentions? Also, it doesn't just let him off the hook. It means he would have to make some changes in his own life as well. It is much deeper when you don't respect yourself. I mean that is what we tell people all the time isn't it? Work on your life, improve and your desire will come... Isn't this the same. Cheating is a painful topic because it makes us feel disrespected and absolutely we should be. But in the first place when our relationships weren't working out, were we not already disrespecting ourselves in the first place?