Hi in my last post I mentioned how happy I was and everything I have achieved so far.  I decided to contact my love for the first time ever to wish him merry Christmas and he also wished me back nicely, I said thank you and left the conversation there.

I then started doing some thinking with the New Year coming to an end. On new year’s eve I decided I was going to put an end to using the LOA, it has been a year since I started using LOA and I just felt really overwhelmed how the year was coming to an end and how my love wasn’t with me and how he has a girlfriend and how long I’ve been waiting for him. I started to think I’m being stupid waiting for him and how long I was going to carry on like this. That night I cried a little before going to sleep as I felt sad, but when I woke up in the morning there was a text from him at 7am in the morning saying “Happy new years babs” I was so surprised by the text and why was he wishing me at 7am in the morning, and he called me babe he never calls me that. I replied back saying “happy new year, hope the New Year brings you everything you want”. I thought this was going to be the big moment where he would say I miss you or something but all I got was a thank you to my text. This didn’t dishearten me as I was just happy that he thought of me on New Year’s.

However today in one of our university group chats someone posted a picture of him and his girlfriend with a group of other friends and it really upset me. I felt so stupid and ended up stalking my loves and his girl’s profile. I know it was stupid thing to do, and won’t be doing that again as I don’t need or want that negative energy in my life. I don’t understand what’s gone wrong as my energy has been up and I’ve been really happy over the last 5 months. I have tried everything I no longer know what to do anymore. Yes I am upset right now but I know I will be okay tomorrow morning, I’m still looking forward to 2017 and won’t let something like this affect other areas of my life, I’m not that girl anymore. But I don’t know what else to do anymore, I can’t think of what I am doing so wrong or why it’s taking so long.

Do I start the 25 day challenge again or just continue with life. I never really completed the 25 day challenge as I was happy and my vibe was happy. I had also let go of him and I was so busy that I had stopped thinking and visualising about him much. Even now I don’t visualise or think of him much. But today just changed everything. I no longer know what to do. I need some guidance, some help.