We've all heard it after a break up, our friends say it, our family says it, strangers on the internet say it 'just move on' or something like that and the feeling we feel when we hear that just makes us SO angry... but I'm going to show how illogical it is to feel angry or resentful or stubborn about that thought. First of all, why do you get angry? Is it because you feel that the other person simply doesn't 'get it' , that they don't realise how in love you are? Or is it because the idea of packing up your hopes of getting back together and actually going about life without that person just seems so daunting to you that you can't fathom it? Well here's a clue about it- imagine if you were wishing you could be a millionaire and someone says 'oh well, that probably won't happen, just move on' and you actually follow that advice, do you think if someone offered you a million dollars the next day you would just reject it and say 'nope, sorry, I moved on.' No, you would not. So what's the deal there? Moving on just simple means to live life as happily and as full as possible without it being all about wealth or all about that specific person, but it doesn't mean that you have to live life poor forever or without love forever. It's just finding ways to wake up everyday and feel happy. So if you're in a place where the sheer idea of 'moving on' make you want to vomit, then you are not in a place where you can really truly start looking at your desires in an open way- which would actually bring the desire to you.

I attracted a specific person about 5 years ago into my life and here's our story. I first heard about him through a friend who had a huge crush on him. I then looked at his facebook and the first thing I thought was 'wow, he is the hottest guy I ever ever seen...ever' and I added him. I added him just thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if he accepted my add' and he did. Then I started talking to him online and thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if he replied' and he would. During this time, I was emotionally involved with two other guys, my ex at the time and my current boyfriend. My focus was on those two people and I was so involved with them I ended up screwing it up with both, but this guy on the internet -well, who was he, a stranger, a good looking stranger...that's all. And then I got emotionally involved with someone else and when he broke up with me, I was in pain, I wanted to get revenge and I thought -what if this good looking stranger just agreed to come to a party with me, wouldn't that be nice, to show up my horrible ex. And he did. And then I thought- wouldn't it be cool to hang out with this stranger, just to get my mind off my ex. And we did. And that good looking stranger turned out to be my first love and the reason I joined thi forum, after a 4 year relationship. 

But what, what was the difference between now and then? Well, I shared my life with this stranger for 4 years so now he is not a stranger, now I have ties with him. Those ties are what keeps me in love and I suspect what keep him away. But I got him once before, I got him when I wasn't tied, when even just an idea of him wanting to hang out was enough for me. Now, the idea of him wanting to hang out with me sometimes seems just soo far out of reach...but why..because of history, because of our past, because of those feelings, because of the reality now... But what if... what if I didn't feel all those ties, what if, I could just get him back in my mind to being just a good looking stranger... well then I'd be confident, because it's open, it's a mystery, it's new, it's exciting and it won't hurt me if it didn't happen.

But I personally have a lot of problems with just letting go. I'm still working on it. Yet, I think we all come to realise that when you start letting go, things start working out. So if you're scared of moving on, don't be. If you can actually move on- you're going to find that life will start working out. If you refuse to let go, it just won't, and even if it does, it doesn't tend to last. So my message is- give yourself a chance to move on But don't think that moving on means your desire is dead. You can be moved on from wanting a castle, happy in your cottage, but would you refuse a castle if it got offered to you?: No. So you could be happy single, happy even with a new boyfriend, but would you refuse the love of your life if he asked you back? My guess is no. 

And for those who are afraid of time passing. A guy came back to me over a year after a 3 week relationship while I was with someone else. Did I refuse him? No. I went back to him. So don't worry too much about the idea of moving on and being happy and finding joy without your person because a) it is actually possible and b) it won't hinder your desire. But please don't prolong your misery by staying stuck, because if you stay stuck, things won't change. I would also reccommend even taking time out of learning about LOA and coming on forums because the more energy you give to your problem of wanting someone back, the more energy you're giving to the lack of it and the less energy you're exerting in your happiness. Sure you might think you're happy, but are you for as long as you post about your person? For as long as you stalk their page or visualise constantly? Do what you need to make you happy because then things do start to move. And movement is key.