I get up early in th morning because i have to study for a really big test next month and i received out of the blue a text from a number i didnt have registered but for the code and the picture was Xavi asking if i was at home or working (he didnt write me since i lost the baby to tell me that he was never going to contact me again and before that more than a month ago when he left me and went to his mistical trip to Asia for 6 months) I was in shock...but i remember i dont have to look needy! so i only answered: Yes im home i have to study.
He didnt write back...i was so nervous...should i contact him again, NO! i decided to take my dog out for a walk to try to stop thinking...when i got home i left my coat on a chair and the door bell rang.
I answer and from the other side they told me HEY!....i was like im alucinating so i said again hello its somebody there? And then again that voice i missed so much saying Hey you dont recognize me or you dont want to let me in....i let him entered...the elevator takes like two minutes to get to my floor but it felt forever..i opened the door like i always do and there he was with a small baggage and a smile....he says Hey! (that his line)
I invite him in to the appartment and we both stay standing in the entrance, he looked at me and said you remodeled, I aswered yes i was trying to let the energy flow.
Xavi: Look Ely i really dont know what im doing here, i was planning on send you an email apologizing but you were right we never talked face to face, not even before the broke up everything was by the phone, and i felt so bad with myself all this time that i felt i had to come and see if you are ok
Ely: Thank you Xavi, you didnt have to travel for that, im fine...i rediscovered myself and im actually better that ever
Xavi: So i guess you are better without me
Ely: No i never said that, just that i forgive you and i forgive myself because i was in a really dark place and i needed to let go
Xavi: You really forgive me? You dont need explanations?
Ely: I forgive you as a person who is able to do mistakes, theres no logic explanation for what you did, because you left me pregnant and alone and never even believe me that i was pregnant or come to the doctor with me to see that it was true... you only believed me when i was admitted for the miscarry...so i dont think that any explanation is going to work.
Xavi: You are right im so sorry, but i have so many doubts about the timing and how things change
Ely: The timing wasnt planned and you can asked me whatever you want... i actually dont go there anymore because how i told you it was a really difficult time for me,and i was told to dont think about it ant try to be possitive or at least neutral so if you want to talk about it i will but its going to be a going in circles conversation where no one of us is going to get the answer we want
Xavi: All this time i felt too bad, Im really sorry, i promise you that i thought about this everyday and everyday i felt worst
Ely: Xavi the only thing i care is to know if you are really sorry or you just came here out of guilt
Xavi: I came to say i´m sorry but the truth was that i didnt do that by email because i really missed you and wanted to see you
Ely: Im not going to lie..i missed you too and thank you knowing that you are sorry is all i needed
Xavi: well if we both missed each other maybe you should try this again?? (he asked with a cute smile)
Ely: About that...Xavi you know how i feel for you i want to be with you but i need some commitment from you, no more open relationship because of the distance, no more dating apps just to see whos there or "practice" french, no more panic attacks and talking to mom and follow her lead when she is biased by your point of view in a bad time. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me and dont run away 
Xavi: Ely im not going to say that i change in a month, i have my anxiety and panic attacks but now are more related to not being with you, and all i lost. I told you that i needed to grow up and you once offer me to be by my side in the way, i want that. I promise that i wont run and that im here for you, because love what frightened me much about you is that you had everything i ever wanted and i never thought you could exist so you have to have some defects so my mind play me tricks....im really sorry.
Ely: Ok im going to help you on the way...but never let me down again
Xavi came closer hug me and said never my love and kiss my front, i looked up and he kissed me (oh my god it were like fireworks i missed those lips so much)
He smiled, grab my hand and we went to the coach and he lay on top of me and started to kissed me and touch me, saying how much he missed me and how beautiful and perfect i am....he has glowing and so was i...the next part is x rated .
After that we asked for a pizza, watch a movie and went to bed cuddling and kissing as before, when we where on our finest moments and couldnt get our hands of each other....it amaizing to see his beautiful eyes looking at me with that perfect smile saying Goodnight me love, I love you so much
My dream came true, he is willing to grow and commited to make this work...im so grateful and impressed, full of love and believe me theres no a feeling more pure than that LOVE!