The more you let go of yourself and revel in the power of yourself and your mind to create your own reality, the more you enjoy your imagination - so much so that you lose yourself in it like how one loses selfnin a good book or good movie.

You know that feeling you get when you're reading a good book or watching a good movie when you've connected so much with the characters and the story that when you reach the end of the book or when the movie is over - it's like you've lost all sense of time and "reality" because you were so engrossed in the book or movie and that's what was "real" to you?

It's kinda like that.

The more you enjoy yourself - truly enjoy your imagination, it will be the only "reality."

I know this may seem overly simple or maybe difficult to grasp - but the more you do it, the more it makes sense and the easier it gets.

Like anything else, it just takes some practice.

It's like playing "make beleive" when you were a kid (if you did that).

Hope this maybe helps a bit.

Reality is just a matter of thoughts and you're more than able to change your thoughts. I wouldn't worry about the holidays too much, you'll be spending many of them with your love anyway so just go with it. 

I forgot I posted this thread lol. I'm in a much much more relaxed state. I've taken the reigns to my thoughts and I feel so empowered in my mind. My advice to you received is just focus on the end result. Focus on her being in the right vibration. Ignore what's in front of you. Focus on you. I mean seriously do stuff you like. I started working out again. I'm gaining muscle and I feel so good about how I look everytime I pass my reflection. I stopped drinking after almost succumbing to alcoholism I didn't even need AA because I believed in myself. Just keep with it. It gets so easy. I'm having a blast with loa and that's the way it should feel.