I normally don't post success stories anymore, because I could start a new post every day. It just got way too much. My success story today doesn't really look like one, but it feels like one and it includes a specific person and some struggle, so that's the perfect place to share it.

A month or so ago, a new guy came into my life and I totally manifested him. We haven't met yet, because we are living far apart, but it just feels right and I don't have to worry about, if it fits in real life, because I manifested him and so I'm sure that it does. We texted nearly every day and he even started to tell me, when he couldn't be online. So it unfolded nicely. I did my vibrational stuff and focused on all the good, but there was one thing I focused on that wasn'that good. He promised to talk to me once, but he wasn't online this day. I gave it my attention and it happened again, and again I gave it my attention, silly me. Then, the whole story started. On Friday, I got a voice message from him telling me that he wouldn't be able to text on Saturday, but on Sunday and that he likes me a lot. I waited the whole Sunday (and was completely in this waiting vibration full of lack) and he didn't text, even though he was online all day. In the evening, I send a short text and he replied that he has to be there for a friend. I was so disappointed, but I was mostly disappointed, because I wasn't able to control my emotions around him. I felt that I couldn't handle it. I cried myself to sleep that night and my thoughts were all over the place. I was back where I started one year ago. No control over my thoughts, no attention to my feelings, blaming the behaviour of others and analysing behaviour. The next day was the worst day I had within the last 6 months or more. I felt just terrible. I'm normally between enthusiasm and contentment on the emotinal scale, but within a day, I fell down to sadness, anger and insecurity and I couldn't pick myself up as I can normally. I cried myself to sleep a second night and felt silly for crying about a guy I haven't even met yet. In the meantime, my thoughts ran amok. I even thought that I wouldn't ever hear from him again - not very productive and not so much what I wanted. It took me those two days to pick me up again. I thought "One moment, when I think this, it feels terrible what means that it isn't in line with what my Inner Being is thinking". So, I started to shift my thoughts about the situation. I still had some harder hours, but I managed to feel better. I think I don't even have to mention that I did not hear from him in any way. Today, I felt a lot better and had some moments in love and I was mostly back in my normal emotional range, although I had some not so good thoughts. What I did today was focusing as much on what I want as I could. I visualised around all day and it felt good. I decided that I wouldn't blame him for his behaviour and that I wouldn't even tell him what I had gone through. I decided to trust him. Just because another guy ghosted me doesn't mean that he would do it too. And I stopped waiting around for him. And guess what? Maybe an hour after I decided to trust him and forgot about him for a few minutes, he texted. Something really bad happened, so he had a good reason not to text. He even told me that he hopes I'm not angry. No, not anymore..lol.

I'm really glad that I caught myself and worked on my vibration. I don't want to know what had happened, if I hadn't done this. I'm grateful for that experience though, because I learned much. It gave me the possibility to have a look on my old thought processes, so that I can understand better how I attracted stuff in my past. It showed me that the old patterns aren't that strong anymore, but they are still there and I still have to be very aware to not fall back.