Are you familiar with Neville Goddards revision technique? I won't go into the specifics because those thoughts no longer serve me but I was taught to write down the traumatic memories and give them a better ending, then read them over and over until my mind accepted that version of events. Give the bad memory a positive ending. You obviously can't change what has happened but you can change how you think about it and how the impact it has on your mind. 

I hope this makes sense. 

It's just training. You have thought many thoughts of that kind and therefore they have a lot of momentum. It's hard to stop them, but it's doable. Noticing that they occur is the first step. Think of things you can think about instead, maybe write them down and put them in your pocket and every time you catch yourself arguing in your head, shift your thoughts to one thing on the list. It could be puppies, ice cream or whatever makes you happy thinking about. With time, the momentum will slow down and you won't have that type of thoughts anymore.

Sphony wrote:

Sounds like something Abraham hicks would say. I will do as you suggest. I'm also an artist I remember a scene in the secret where this artist was told to paint what he wanted. After he did what was told he manifested what he painted. If I start drawing and painting pictures of my lover ( don't wanna say ex) and hang them on my wall will this help me manifest contact with this person again? I started drawing her recently and it made me feel a bit closer to her. I just need to finish the drawing.
 

Haven't heard something like that from Abe, I think it was my idea, but it really doesn't matter who's idea it is. If it resonates take it. If not don't.

I'm not a fan of the secret because it's superficial. It's fine to start with LoA, but just to bring the idea across. If you believe painting pictures of her will help you to get her so contact you then it will. But it's never about your actions, it's always about how you think, what you expect and what you believe. You can paint your whole life not believing that she will come back and that will be your experience. It has worked for this guy, because he trusted the lady who told him to do it.