1 of 1- Alexia_Michelle
- Contributor
Offline - From: Fayetteville, AR
- Registered: 6/18/2016
- Posts: 51
Dear ladies! Care to help me with questions?
First of all, I would love to thank you all for your kindness to assist me with this problem i have.
So..i have been in no contact with my man for more than 6 weeks now.
We broke up 4 months ago. He called me on late august, asked me not to date anyone, while he was dating this woman himself. I said no, i said i deserve to have a date and have fun. I believe i deserve to love myself and find my own happiness until he finally make up his mind to completely come back to me.
So..i found out yesterday that he broke up with the woman he was with after we broke up. He's totally depressed at the moment. I know him for 3 years, when he's depressed he tend to hurt himself. He has this anxiety disorder and regularly on prozac.
Honestly..i'm afraid he hurt himself..i know he capable to do that when he gets very depressed. 3 years ago, after his ex wife left him for another man, i was there to help him preventing himself from commiting suicide. I had to be there 24 hrs a day to make sure he won't hurt himself. He was very vulnerable and all through 3 years i helped him going through the sleepless night full of nightmares and helped him to get back on his feet, one little step at a tims, until he could finally regain his life back.
He left me for another woman. All because of he couldn't stand the long distance relationship. Yes, we live in different continents. I managed to come to US..hopr soared as we talked again when I finally in the states. But he decided to stay with his woman.
Now..in such a condition..should i call him? For some reason, i don't want him to want me for rebound relationship. I don't want him to want me because another woman left him. I want him to be with me because he decided he wants to be with me instead of with any other woman.
I think, aftet what he had done to me and what i had been going through, o deserve it.
I need your kind advice ladies..should i give him a call or text him? Should i, again, be the shoulder to cry on. I would like to do my 25 days challenge properly to the 25th day. I don't want to jump to help him..
I want to be wanted and needed.
Please help me..
Thank you very much.
Have a great day!
Last edited by Alexia_Michelle (10/17/2016 2:57 pm)
- Justine
- Superhero
Offline
- Registered: 9/25/2016
- Posts: 190
Re: Dear ladies! Care to help me with questions?
Right now my advice would be to focus only on yourself. Give yourself love before giving love to another person.
Focus on what you want and feel good. <3
Last edited by Justine (10/17/2016 9:15 pm)
- tessy
- Superhero
Offline
- Registered: 6/25/2016
- Posts: 165
Re: Dear ladies! Care to help me with questions?
I am so sorry for you.....its terrible that u did so much for this man for 24hrs and he did what he did......But tell me, would you like to be with a guy who is emotinally so unstable? What will you be like, his shoulder throughout your life? And even if you do, there is no guarantee that he wont repeat what he did..........I feel you need to sit back and figure out these issue, we can be an emotinal anchor for someone but as a friend....I feel you can definetely TEXT/ Call him but act normally and dont jump to help him, he has to handle his emotions himself.....you can always be there by him as a friend and help him cry when he wants to (occassionally) The problem is we THINK WHETHER WE SHOULD OIR NOT only when we have FEELINGS for a person, imagine he was just a friend...u wont care to send 5 texts....so do that, ask him casually, be there as a friend and throughout work on yourself....he's a part of your life, not the heart of your life anymore.....once u start behaving like a friend see where it goes....u will know better as u know him for 3 years....also dont restrict yourself, go on dates, meet other men....and keep desiring him...you can make out yourself if u both are ready for more!! ALL THE BEST
- Alexia_Michelle
- Contributor
Offline
- From: Fayetteville, AR
- Registered: 6/18/2016
- Posts: 51
Re: Dear ladies! Care to help me with questions?
Thank you for the advices ladies.
@tessy, no i still haven't text nor call him yet. Actually today i went out of town with my friends and had a splendid time!
I keep lurking at his facebook only to make sure he didn't decide to do anything stupid like slicing his arm again..but you are right. He needs to work it out himself.
Not that i don't want to help him..but he have to be a strong man to be by my side.
I just keep asuring myself that i am not being selfish..*sigh
- •
Thread Starter- tessy
- Superhero
Offline
- Registered: 6/25/2016
- Posts: 165
Re: Dear ladies! Care to help me with questions?
You are not being selfish at all........whats the harm is texting or calling....Love is "SELFLESS"///// U can always help him, but helping him does not mean u start expecting anything in return....help him by being by his side, but dont feel bad if he dosnt respond the way you want to....as I said, love is not without expectation....we are bound to expect the love we give out....so if you are feeling u are being selfish....help him as a friend...provided he needs one 
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com