1 of 1- issha
- Helper
Offline - Registered: 8/17/2016
- Posts: 30
Torn in what I should do
I've posted elsewhere about the fact that my ex has restricted me from seeing his posts on Facebook. But once in a while he will make something a public post. He never did that before.
I've restricted my posts from him as well. This is partly for no contact purposes and partly because I feel hurt by his actions and wanted to hurt him back, It was my ego trying to make it look like I didn't care.
Here's the thing, I'm becoming obsessed. I go to see if he's posted something public , or if he's online. It's hurting my Visualizations, my affirmations, outlook on whether this it is possible to get him back. I go online and I get angry again when I see the restrictions.
I keep thinking maybe it's time to block him, to help me not be so obsessive, but I'm worried that it is not "acting as if" I'm worried that that will make it final. I'm worried that I'm not giving loa a chance but then I go back to obsessing.
I'm so... Frustrated, fed up, confused, hurt, feel like giving up, but don't want to. I know I can be happy without him, I'm just so much happier when I hear him, talk to him or see him.
Please advise me on the blocking/not blocking thing
- Taniam
- Junior
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- Registered: 9/07/2016
- Posts: 11
Re: Torn in what I should do
Dear Issha
Definitely BLOCK him. It is taking back a small amount of your personal power. Trust me, creeping on facebook is a form of self harm. I have had to stop FULL STOP!!. My ex has a private profile and we are not friends, but his new girlfriend has a public profile and it has been torturous, literally. Everytime I looked, I saw something that was going to take me a week to recover from. NOT WORTH IT!!!. BLOCK BLOCK AND BLOCK AGAIN. Don't even look at fakebook. It's not acting äs if"in the sense that you mean it. But it is acting as if you are a strong woman who doesn't bother with such trivial matters, you have much more to do with your life. Keep up the vizualizations, and affirmations and don't wish to hurt him back. Send him love - unconditional love in your affirmations. Let go of the need (easier said than done).... to be obsessive. LOA is not just about getting a person back, its about getting yourself back first and then you will attract so many people into your life, including your ex, because he won't want to miss out on that great stuff. Attract yourself, be that in control person, not obsessing. If that makes sense, although I know its so hard. But seriously the facebook thing was my worst downfall. I actually feel relieved, that I am not putting myself through the inevitable pain of looking and now have no temptation now to look at what she/they are posting about their wonderful romance because at 47 & 49, I think how bloody stupid anyway.
- ShootingStar
- Expert
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- Registered: 12/28/2015
- Posts: 666
Re: Torn in what I should do
The thing about the present is that its fleeting. Like one picture or post is simply a moment in time and by the time you see it, its already in the past. So it's all history really. I think getting upset about things that have already happened is natural but a waste of time. If you block him, I would also block anyone who he's friends with incase he notices one day you blocked him. I got blocked once by a sort of ex and just saw it as a bit pathetic, like he didn't have the self control to just not go on my page. I think deleting is fine because it just shows you want space but blocking is a bit dramatic which I'm sure you don't want to be. One of my ex's has been my Facebook friend ever since I broke up with him so sometimes I take advantage and go on his page and I see what he's doing and feel a bit of sadness that he's so happy. I guess that's what he wants. Curiosity kills the cat !
'What We Think, We Become' -Buddha
- issha
- Helper
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- Registered: 8/17/2016
- Posts: 30
Re: Torn in what I should do
Thank you both for your replies. It's interesting that your different posts reflect what the arguments in my head have been like.
Today I was so busy at work that I didn't have time to go on Facebook and it felt great! I felt like I had control again.
Dear Shooting star I see your point about it being in the past but if it keeps happening then it feels like its present tense. Although I have told myself the very same things you are saying, you've helped me to realize something. All of my arguments to not block him have been about him and what he might think about me.
I think I should be thinking about me. Thank you for being in that in greater clarity to me.
Taniam I love your line "LOA is not just about getting a person back, its about getting yourself back first and then you will attract so many people into your life, including your ex, because he won't want to miss out on that great stuff. Attract yourself, be that in control person, not obsessing." Thank you for putting it that way to me.
Today not going to check him out felt great. I'm going to see how long I can do it in my own and if I can't I will block.
Than you both for taking the time to reply.
Last edited by issha (9/20/2016 11:54 pm)
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Thread StarterVeronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com