Hello Everybody

   Id like to start off by saying thank you all for sharing your stories.  There were many that I have read that helped me get through and come about to a better place.  But I find myself coming back to a low vibrational point quite often.  I started learning of the LOA after my recent breakup which took place about 2 months ago.  Ironically  enough, the day of this break up is the same as the day of my last breakup with a different ex, exactly 1 year ago. 

    The first girlfriend that I had, was my first serious relationship, and I am in my mid 20s.  She gave me alot of hurt as I had alot of issues that I had to deal with.  My insecurities got the better of me, and what I had taken as a serious relationship was pretty much a fling for her.  It was a learning lesson in its own.  The days following that breakup, I found myself in a very negative and misogenistic state.  I had alot of insecurities and hatred that I was dealing with.  Until I met, this last girl.

   I met her in the weirdest of ways, it was through a accident.  She crashed into me, I pulled her out of the wreck, 2 weeks later we were going out.  It was unbelivable, as I couldn't fathom what was going on. But as we spent days, hours, minutes together, things were just clicking.  I never thought I would be able to feel that type of a love, ever.  It was incredible.  Slowly, she was wiping away all of the pain I had from all past experiences, and I was falling faster then I could imagine.  Throughout the course of the relationship, there was alot of things that I didn't like, but I over looked them because I always had hope for a better future together.  Things like talking about past sexual exp, or relationships.  Slowly the games started to come in, there were dissappearing acts, etc.  But I still felt her love me through it all.  But everything was kind of like a game, a battle of ego.  I know I attracted alot of it with my insecurities, but at the same time I know that I cannot accept all of the blame.

     We had traveled together, and a few weeks after she broke up with me.  I remember the breakup, and it left me very hurt.  I told her as you wish, and left it at that.  I never chased her after, but she went crazy each time in the following days.  Blocking me from all accounts of social media, and calling me one day to tell me all the things wrong with me.  I remember telling her, thats fine, and thankyou for letting me know, but I loved, u before and always will.  I wish you the best in life. 

    I had been hurt.  I followed alot of the teachings of veronica, and abraham hicks and neville goddard and my perception changed.  Slowly I realized how my mind and life was soo limited.  The way that I was brought up, was so negative, and I had started becoming more and more positive.  I am very spiritual person, so my belief in the universe was something I was brought up with.  But somehow, I alway's find myself in the negative.

   I know that once I look past my ego, I see how much I love this woman, even though she hurt me in the "dumbest" of ways.  Meaning, it was both our ego getting the best of us.  But on a conscious level I have so much hatred that after treating her so well, this was the fallout. 

   I have noticed that the few times I was able to think happy thoughts, and be in a positive vibration, I attracted her contact back.  She had added me again on social media.  But now, I cant find a way to be in a positive vibration. 

Our relationship had alot of intimacy for each other, but we had different views.  She was very immature, and a free spirit, while I was very grounded and had too much responsibilities.  I let alot of it go in person, but in my inner frame, I just kept growing resentment. 

I want to have a better relationship with her, and I know that it is something that I desire soon.  But its hard to not think with a time constriction. 

I thank you for reading this and any insight would be loved, and cherished.  I thank you for that and apologize for how long this post is, or if it is in the wrong place.    Best wishes for the manifestations of us all!