I always wanted to be with Darrel. Darrel is the one whom I connected to, whom I share ideals and beliefs with, whom I can shamelessly be myself with. He makes me smile and really really really happy. He gets it though, I don't depend on him to be happy. All he wants is for me to appreciate myself, be myself and be happy with myself. He calls me perfect all the time despite my flaws, he doesn't see them as flaws. We always had feelings for each other, for years. But for me the distance is what was stopping me. I live in New York, he in Florida. But he didn't mind the distance, he was willing to be with me regardless.

But while I was working on myself, I decided to just give it a shot. We dated before when we were younger, but the distance caused me to leave. But I am older and more ready for this. He told me he is supposed to be moving to North Carolina with his family and if they don't find a place, they will be moving back to New York, since this is where he was originally from. We both were so happy about this possibility, I felt like this opportunity was coming from the Universe.

Now I can see a difference in how I am with him vs. my ex. With him I am more open and not afraid to tell him anything. I speak my mind and am just myself as he loves me. I love him so much for being the honest type that would tell people what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear. Last night we were speaking on the phone and he fell asleep, I noted of hanging up I fell asleep with him until he woke up and called out to me. My relationship with him is so much different, even in how I treat him. It's just that I have always loved him. Don't get me wrong, I love my ex too, just not the same way that I love him.