Ironically, I feel more sure of my ability to attract my original specific person than I did before because now he's becoming less and less of a big scary threat that has the power to make me cry. When he had the power to make me cry or make me emotional I wasn't powerful at attracting. I think that's something people should realise too, the sooner you get out of that emotional state, the better for everything. 

I was half thinking of actually just writing a post entitled 'Visualise being with your ex for a month and then move on as if they're dead' Because I think if you actually just spent a month after the break up crying it out and then a month after that visualising being with your ex and then after that literally just moving on as if they no longer exist or got sent to Siberia then you would have a super high chance of attracting back your ex really quickly O.o instead of skipping the crying out and healing period and going straight to the visualising and pretending to be happy because you think the prize of your ex will come if you do but then you see no results....if you could get into the vibration of being their girlfriend but then just keep that vibe alive by being that girl in general but pretending your ex literally doesn't exist ('Oh...Dan...I miss....wait,no he doesn't exist anymore, nevermind) then when Dan contacts you, you could actually meet him with the best vibe ever and get back together pretty quickly. Because you would have actually have genuinely moved on while being aligned as his perfect girlfriend.  

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Most of these posts seem to give the impression that wanting your ex back doesn't work, and the "best" that can be hoped for is to get over them, move on etc.  Is that how it works?  Maybe, does that indicate that they were the wrong person in the first place?  How many people have successfully got back with an ex in a sustainable relationship?  Has anyone ever done a poll?  I'm rather curious. 

It doesn't work from the place most people are. I get a completely different impression from this post. I think it's an vibrational thing.

This forum has nearly 600 members by now, I would suppose that less than 10% had success. It's not that much, isn't it? Everyone already tried to visualise for hours, it obviously doesn't help so much. It's time for a new approach and when I have the choice between being miserable and not with my ex or being happy and not with my ex, I would choose the latter.

wolf wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Most of these posts seem to give the impression that wanting your ex back doesn't work, and the "best" that can be hoped for is to get over them, move on etc.  Is that how it works?

I'm going to take an Abe approach as I mostly do regarding my current understanding.
It is possible to get back with your ex, otherwise there wouldn't be people doing it.
It is possible overall, like as a general thing.
Whether it's possible for this individual or that individual comes down to their vibration.

For some people, "getting over them" or "forgetting them" is the path of least resistance
because they just feel that they think of this way too much in the Unwanted direction
that they feel unable to feel happy, unless they're not thinking of it all,
OR finding a way to think of it differently, no matter what way that is.
They're not giving up the desire (again, can't do that!),
it's their way of giving up resistance on it, which is the only thing they can give up.
It's resistance. Always is. It's nothing else but resistance that you can give up.

That's not the path for some others because there are people on this board
who start the 25 day challenge and on day 4, already back together.
They most likely did not go the way of "forgetting" the person,
they managed to tend to their happiness and were happy anyway even without the person there with them.

Let's talk vibration. So according to Abe, it's actually this way:
you don't always get what you ENVISION, but you always get the essence.
Essence is again what you want your relationship to feel like.

So you might be envisioning person X and end up not getting them, why is that?
Because person X is no longer a vibrational match to you. You just don't match up.
If person X is in depression (I'm going to extremes here), and you're in Joy,
there is no way in the world you're going to match up with them.
You're going to match up with somebody who can give you the same essence that you're looking for, 
(that you were using person X as an example for; you were thinking that person X gives you all of those feelings),
whatever you're wanting to feel in a relationship that by your standards is fulfilling.

Typically, people don't get that. They think this makes LoA inconsistent or something
because it's saying that you don't get what you want.
That's such a false premise because what you want is the feelings.
You want to feel joyful, happy, loved etc in your relationship.
If person X came and you felt incredibly bored with them or they were a jerk or whatever,
you wouldn't be sitting there like "OMG I'm so happy you're back!", 
you'd be like "What the f%&k? That's not what I wanted!" 

You see how this works? It's okay if you don't. Heck, I didn't see it like a couple weeks ago.
They come and the relationship is a complete painful experience, do you want that?
You want love, you want happy, you want reliable. That's what you want.

If person X can't give you that while you ARE vibrating that, then person X isn't gonna be there
(and you wouldn't want them to be there unless they were vibrating the love and happy that you are wanting).
But if their corresponding vibration is that which matches with what you are wanting,
then they can very certainly be there for you.
Ultimately you're going to have to find out which one it is.

Now it seems like you have to think about whatever their vibration is but you don't!
It's counterproductive to you if you do that.
If you include in YOUR vibration what you're THINKING their vibration is (because you can't know what it is),
then you just have waaaaaaay to much stuff to think about,
especially since you cannot know their vibration (that's LoA's work), so you cannot get the answer,
and then you fuss and worry and feel bad,
but when you feel bad, you're nowhere near your perfect match anyway!
You can't get there from worrying and feeling bad.
It's much more productive to do whatever feels best to you so that you feel good,
and then let your Inner Being guide you to the perfect match, and then see who's there.

And if that still makes you frustrated if it's not person X, then you can go ahead and turn them down,
no one is telling you what you can and cannot do
(LoA isn't deciding anything for you. It just takes your vibration and matches it with someone
who's vibrating the same way and then you can take it or leave it),
but first you have to tend to your happiness so that you could even BE shown the match in the first place,
person X or not person X.

Hopefully this makes at least a little bit of sense but if not, that's okay, too.
 

 
hello very wise wolf,
what you wrote makes a lot of sense to me.
so I would like to know your view on this.
I attracted him back, but now he's very doubtful.
we met twice since the reconciliation and he behaved very strangely.
I see we are on different vibrations, but I manifested him back,
so I don't think we are that far from each other.
so why these strange behaviours ?